Probably shouldn't use this in the brochure.
Everyone of us here have UT fans that we count among our acquaintances. Heck, if you're like me you count UT fans among your closest friends and enjoy their company regarding all non-sports related matters. (My best friend from HS went to UT but only attended a handful of games during his 4 years and wasn't all that excited about the 2005 Title because, 'all it did was rile up the frat boys and make them even more insufferable'. This is what you call an "anomaly".) You have a lot of fun with them and sometimes get tricked into thinking they're normal. But for the most part they all genuinely believe that UT is the apex of athletics no matter the result on the field and, even if you have the rare acquaintance like I mentioned above, deep down we all know that underneath the surface, any UT fan has that sense of entitlement lurking. And, boy, it was a rough week for the entitled UT fan.
First off is a story that, if you haven't seen it yet, I'm sure you'll all enjoy. Remember Daje Johnson? Tremendous former TCU commit from Pflugerville who wanted to go to UT so bad he pretty much walked into Mack Brown's office, spread his cheeks and told him to have his way with him until he would give him a scholly? Seriously, if you tell me Mack offered the kid because he was interested and not because Daje's therapist told Mack if he didn't he'd be considered an accessory to a suicide, I'm calling you a liar.
Anyway, Daje got his wish, and got his spot on the team. But you know that whole "be careful what you wish for" thing? Based on this week's news that Daje has been suspended for UT's first game for "violating a team rule," perhaps its accurate. Word among the EdK's of the UT world, what with their endless supply of golf course sources, is that Daje hasn't exactly learned his place among the UT pecking order and might need an attitude adjustment, and quickly. Now, I'm not one to attack Daje simply for dropping TCU for UT. When we get into these discussions, I always say, "Ask yourself, remember how much of a dickhead you were when you were 18? Now pretend you were actually good at sports, like, REALLY good. That's what it'd be like." I, personally, would've milked the HELL out of the recruiting process. No, I don't scorn Daje for switching sides, but I do look down on him for the way he handled it, groveling until the very second he signed on the dotted line.
So with that in mind, isn't it funny that the last man in UT's recruiting class - not confirmed, but he was near the bottom - is the one who thinks he's ready for the big time and needs an attitude adjustment? If you had to crawl on your knees and beg for your dream school to offer you a spot on the squad, wouldn't you do as Bryan Holaday refused to do and shut the hell up? On the one hand, if he's right and a true freshman should receive special treatment, then UT has fallen WAY farther than we all thought. On the other, it's a pretty strong indictment of the UT mentality, where those with the weakest cases demonstrate the highest amount of entitlement.
Which brings us to exhibits B and C from this week. Now, your UT friends who actually received a degree from the school are bad enough, but I think we can all agree that the T shirt ilk are exponentially worse. I'm from Longview, the land where 90% of those wearing UT or aggy gear couldn't even spell college, so I feel like I'm pretty well versed in their kind. My Facebook newsfeed is literally a T shirt fan convention; if I didn't know any better, I'd suspect Longview was both the largest UT alumni base and expat community of Saints fans in the nation. T shirt fans are literally the worst. They're the most vocal as well as the most ignorant. Which perhaps explains the downward spirals of apparent UT fans Randy Travis and Lance Armstrong.
You all know Travis' oeuvre - country music singer by day, RAGING drunk by night. To recount, in February Travis was arrested for public intoxication while outside of a church (keep that in your memory bank). Then, earlier this month Travis upped the ante when he was arrested again, this time for drunk driving AND threatening to shoot the officers trying to get that maniac off the streets. So, after two arrests in 6 months for poor behavior, you'd think Randy Travis would keep it clean, right? I mean, surely he's not like every other UT fan in the country who thinks they are above society, including the rules of said society? Of course you're wrong, for last evening Travis was arrested for a THIRD time - and second time outside of a church!! - except this time it was for simple assault. So, if you're counting, that's one PI, one DUI with obstruction and retaliation thrown in, and one simple battery. At least he reportedly wasn't drunk last night. Just beatin' on fools while sober. Good work.
And then, you're all well aware of the recent developments in the life of Lance Armstrong, T Shirt fan extraordinnaire. LOOK!
Just as a note, I could find no traces of Lance attending any college, but certainly not Texas.
Anyway, so everyone in the universe not named Craig "Junior" Miller knows Lance doped. The only reason it wasn't more obvious is because cycling is not a sport, its a leisure activity, so everyone ignored it to focus on the whole cancer aspect of his travails. In fact, Lance has been accused of doping for years and has apparently been fighting a court battle with the US Anti Doping Agency - this exists? - for about as long. That is, he'd been fighting it until yesterday, when Lance decided to wave the white flag, which resulted in the forfeiture of all seven of his Tour de France titles. True, giving up isn't an admission of guilt, but its the next best thing, especially for someone like Armstrong who, were he innocent, has the means to fight such allegations. While some will raise their hands and say, "Who cares?" I say we SHOULD care because Lance is demonstrating the exact UT T shirt fan entitlement we should all rise up against as a society. Sure, it starts at "taking some drugs to win a bike race," but where does it end? Lance is a clear example - he could've cheated to win his first one then scaled back a little to give everyone else a chance, but Lance is greedy and grubbing like the rest of his bretheren. Before he knew it, he'd won 7 of the things, become a multi-millionaire and embroiled himself in a lawsuit he had to win in order to make his adoring fans not feel duped. Well, it's all over now, Golden Boy. We appreciate your cancer research fund raising, but you've been exposed! You all have! And if you doubt me, just remember what I said during the Presidential debates when Obama gets asked why he should get a second term and all he does is raise a "Hook 'em" Sign, the new international sign for undeserved entitlement.