Tuesday, September 25, 2012

SMU's Newest PSA.

Despite portraying themselves as a high-class, borderline Ivy League institution of higher learning, SMU is having a REALLY tough time getting their students to stop engaging in hoodrat activities. 

First it was the cover up of drug abuse on campus where, instead of allowing their student body to off themselves with narcotics ON campus, SMU began transporting their trash to Waco in order to throw the authorities off the scent.  (Side note:  Perhaps we should all literally begin exporting our trash to Waco?  That place is already just a big landfill for the most embarrassing members of the human race, why not just turn it in to a literal landfill?) Then came the cover up of rapists running wild on Hillcrest. Despite SMU's best efforts to cover it up, the student involved is actually going to face legal prosecution, demonstrating that while SMU could not care any less about the safety of its students, at least the City of Dallas has its eye on "Dallas' Team."  

So with that outlet temporarily removed, you wound up with the football team's dalliances with whores because, if you can't get it for free or by force, paying for it really is your only option.   However, once the accused were robbed blind by said streetwalker, SMU students are going to have to think twice before spending their parent's ill-gotten gains on such proclivities.

Which brings us to where we are now.  For the time being at SMU it will be difficult for male students to know the love of a good woman by nefarious means.  You can't ply her with drugs, you can't take her by force and you can't employ her.  

But no one said anything about getting familiar with a dude.  The following is a dispatch from the SMU police department:

Student Reports Being Sexually Assaulted Early Sunday Morning
A male SMU student reported being sexually assaulted by a male SMU student acquaintance at two different campus locations about 3 a.m. and again shortly thereafter, on Sunday, September 23, 2012. The victim said he first was sexually assaulted on the west side of 3050 SMU Boulevard and then in the Airline Parking Garage at Airline Road and Daniel Avenue. 

It's always about loopholes with these folks, isn't it?  Well, loopholes and cornholes, apparently. Be careful this weekend, guys.  


Slay Purple said...

Hate Week > Shark Week

Lyle Lanley said...

Yes, but is Hate Week better than Shark BITES? Close call...

LA Frog said...
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