Baylor (2-0, 0-0) @ Louisiana Monroe (1-1) - Friday Night Treat, 7pm, ESPN
Baylor tried to shit the bed a week earlier than expected last week as they struggled for 3 quarters against the mighty Bearcats of Sam Houston State. Trailing 20-10 at halftime, Baylor would eventually rally to put away Sam Houston State 48-23. That is a sentence that should never have to be written or read. Pathetic, Baylor. Just pathetic. Baylor still has awesome WR's, but QB Nick Florence isn't anything near Robert Griffin. Maybe all the dorks in Waco can see that now that he threw 2 picks against SHSU. Oh, and that Baylor defense? Same story, different day. 411 total yards for SHSU. Yeesh. The ULM win over Arkansas is looking less impressive by the minute as John L. Smith is looking like not only the worst coach in football, but the craziest as well. The ULM Warhawks did take Auburn to OT last week as well and if they hadn't given up a halftime Hail Mary they probably would've won, but Auburn sucks this year too. SEC=very, very, VERY top-heavy. Keep in mind we've got the Joe Tessitore/Rod Gilmore (side note: please die, Rod Gilmore) duo calling the game, so we are in for a guaranteed insane game like they get every Friday. I hate Baylor more than Vince Young hates successfully managing his money, but they still pull it out. Final Score: Gaylor 35 - ULM 31.
Maryland (2-1) @ #8 West Virginia (2-0, 0-0) - Saturday 11am, FX
West Virginia coasted to a very un-Holgorsen-esque 42-12 victory last week over lowly James Madison. Freak of nature QB Geno Smith went for 411 and 5 TD's. His last 2 were when they were already up 28-5 and 35-5 late in the 2nd half, so not quite sure why they felt the need to throw there, but oh well. That's the Dana Holgorsen we all know and love. Be a dick to no reason to lowly FCS schools that are named after presidents. If George Washington University had a football team, I'm sure Holgo would play them and be running flea-flickers in the waning minutes while giving the middle finger to a statue of one of our Founding Fathers. I don't know much about Maryland, but I do know they're in the ACC, their coach used to be the fattest man this side of Mark Mangino, their current coach is Randy Edsall who jumped ship from UConn to go to another middling football team, and UConn subsequently shoved it in his face by beating Maryland last week 24-21. Maryland has also barely beaten Temple (36-27) and William and Mary (7-6). Let me reiterate that last point for you: THEY BEAT WILLIAM AND MARY 7-6!!! This game could get nastier than the Penn State showers circa 1998. I won't be watching because I don't condone televising this kind of massacre. Final Score: WVU 66 - Maryland 20.
Kansas (1-2, 0-1) @ Northern Illinois (2-1) - Saturday 2:30pm, ESPN3 if you are into mediocrity
Kansas still sucks. Losing 20-6 to us did not impress me. We play a clean game and it's probably 48 or 51-6. Some of you will sugar-coat it to try and make yourself not feel as bad about how we played and say "yeah, Kansas looks really improved and they could sneak up on some people!". No they don't, and no they can't. Northern Illinois's's's 1 loss is to Iowa, who also sucks, 18-17. They snuck by Army last week 41-40 at West Point. Their 2nd win was a 35-7 win over something called a Tennessee Martin. I don't know much about Northern Illinois either, but if they've won 2 games then that's good enough to declare them better than Kansas. Final Score: NIU 21 - Kansas 20.
#15 Kansas State (3-0, 0-0) @ #6 Oklahoma (2-0, 0-0) - Saturday 6:30pm, FOX
This should be the ABC Saturday night game, but Fox seems to be closing ground on that market pretty quickly after what they pulled off with USC/Stanford last week and landing this game this week. Oh, and the Erin Andrews thievery they pulled off. Well done, Fox. OU was off last weekend so they had an extra week to prepare, but everyone remembers their incredibly "meh" 24-7 win over UTEP in the opener and nobody saw their 69-13 drubbing of Florida A&M. So really this team may remain more of a mystery than any other in the Big 12 (other than maybe ourselves...) at the moment. Consider me one of those not sold on OU or their 5 o'clock shadowed mouth-breather QB Landry Jones. As predicted here, Kansas State struggled with North Texas last weekend as they escaped with a 35-21 victory. I'm going to toot my own horn real quick...Alright. Ready to go again. QB Colin Klein is what OU wants to have with Blake Bell AKA "The Belldozer" but they don't because Klein can throw. It may look funny. Okay, it may look REALLY funny, but it works. He threw for 230 and 2 TD's and ran for 85 and another score in the narrow victory. He appears well on his way to a 2,000 passing, 1,000 rushing season, something he fell just 82 yards shy of last year. Bob Stoops pees down his leg in at least 1 big game per season and I think this will be the first of a couple this year for Stoops and Co. Also, I'm pulling for Kansas State strictly because of K-State Mask Guy. Final Score: KSU 31 - OU 27.
Big week for bye weeks in the Big 12. Texas, Oklahoma State, Texas Tech, and Iowa State are resting up following convincing victories against garbage opponents. When your Ole Miss friends are touting SEC at the end of the season like they always do, point back to what happened to them on Saturday night. Ole Miss football - woof.