Thursday, July 26, 2012

Big 12 Coaches as Reality TV Stars

The Longhorn Network had Samantha Steele interview players at Big 12 Media Days, asking them about which reality television show their coaches would be on. They were probably fishing for some programing for the fall. Here's the original video:



(via Barking Carnival)



The players, for the most part, try to be PC and not get in any trouble, though Pachall casting GMFP on  Swamp People was an... interesting choice, shall we say?

We here at Spit Blood have other ideas for casting.... Here is our idea of some television gold:

Art Briles, Baylor: Sister Wives. Baylor IS basically a cult, amiright?

Paul Rhoads, Iowa State: Ax Men. In honor of his glorious beard.

Charlie Weis, Kansas: Biggest Loser. Weis starts strong but is derailed in his goal to become the Biggest Loser when he starts envisioning Jillian Michaels as a giant twinkie and eats her. (and I know JM isn't on the Biggest Loser anymore, but the last time I watched it she was, so there.)

Bill Snyder, K-State: Survivor. He definitely pulled a Richard Hatch on the Big 12 last year.

Bob Stoops, Oklahoma: Pawn Stars. The Stoops family seems to end up with a lot of reclamation projects.

Mike Gundy Okie Lite: Tool Academy. I'm a MAN. I'm 40! But I still look good, brah.

Mack Brown, Texas: Toddlers & Tiaras. He is the ultimate stage mom, isn't he?

Tommy Tuberville, Texas Tech: Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader. He loses in round 1, natch.

Dana Holgorsen, WVU: Celebrity Rehab. Not even Dr. Drew can save the Holgo. After he gets kicked out of the house, he ends up on Cops.

And of course, Gary Patterson, TCU: The woman in me wants to say What Not To Wear. I love you GP, but your mock turtlenecks have GOT to go. But the rest of the Big 12 is about to get Punk'd, so we will cast him as the new host of the old Ashton Kutcher vehicle. From the above video, it looks like Pachall might have been auditioning for that role too, though.

Feel free to post your own thoughts in the comments!

11 comments:

SnK said...

Weis would also flourish on Man vs. Food. That fatty would win every challenge.

Kev Nolan said...

Art Briles on "The Virgin Diaries" of course.

Sir Wesley Willis said...

Holgo clearly needs to be on 'Intervention'

JHale said...

Can we count Randy as "Official" yet?

http://espn.go.com/dallas/ncf/story/_/id/8202612/tcu-horned-frogs-officially-hire-randy-shannon-lb-coach

SnK said...

It's been addressed already.

JHale said...

Bah... Guess I missed that. Oh well... super pumped.

SuperSweet HornedFrog said...

I think they should do a Real World with all the coaches of the Big 12 live together under one roof

THEFINCH said...

Mike Gundy on Jersey Shore. He obviously GTLs. Light on the G, heavy on the T, and he's a MAN!, so he definitely does his own L

halfmanhalffrog said...

GMFP will never see that interview because who the hell watches that shitty network to begin with?

Brian said...

Holgo for Road Rules, because it's a long haul to Morgantown.

Sir Wesley Willis said...

Mack and Colt would've been great on toddlers and tiaras.