Friday, June 22, 2012

WHAT A DICK! The Longhorn Network Edition.


DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!  That poor girl.  That poor, poor girl.  Doesn't even have a chance!  "Mack Brown would tell it again..." Oh yeah, little lady?  You know what else Mack Brown would do?  He'd sneak into your room after your parents were asleep and devour your soul with his butter teeth.  He'd nab top recruiting class after top recruiting class and win five games with them.  He'd turn Colt McCoy into a deity and lead an entire generation of unspoiled youths into believing he's some sort of heterosexual hero.    He'd sign Garrett Gilbert, thus boosting his perceived talent level because that's how Rivals works which would then give SMU false hopes based on a pay-for-ratings internet publication.  The only thing worse than SMU with real hope is SMU with false hope, because they bugger you about it so much more.  Mack would start his own network and then not have any major service providers pick it up, making it one of the biggest media flops in recent memory.... actually, that's pretty great, scratch that.  Worst of all, though, Mack would make me root for USC.  USC!!  A program by all merits more evil than Texas, yet I still cheered my ass off for them in 2005.  WHY MUST YOU DESTROY MY MORALS?!?!

Seriously, read the comments for the vidja on youtube.  It's fucking NAUSEATING. T-shirt fans, unite! A few of them do their own retelling.  It's like "50 Shades of Vince Young."  You can practically see those folks typing one handed.  Vomit.  I hate the Longhorn Network.

Seriously, ESPN exec who greenlit the LHN.  What a dick!

4 comments:

Curt McDurt said...

HAHA, the comment that says "more people have watched this than the Longhorn Network" is awesome!!

Travis said...

SWW, the hate has always been strong with you, but it is well placed!

I know we all like to have fun at Baylor and Tech's expense and some hate is good. However, we are actually brothers-in-arms united against the common, despised evil burnt orange empire that represents all that is wrong with college football. So, we should remember this as our inaugural season progresses. Save the hate for the appropriate enemy.

Well done SWW, keep it coming!

Travis said...

SWW, the hate has always been strong with you, but it is well placed!

I know we all like to have fun at Baylor and Tech's expense and some hate is good. However, we are actually brothers-in-arms united against the common, despised evil burnt orange empire that represents all that is wrong with college football. So, we should remember this as our inaugural season progresses. Save the hate for the appropriate enemy.

Well done SWW, keep it coming!

Lyle Lanley said...

How funny is it that Tech was going to CANCEL their game at Texas State if it ended up being on the Longhorn Network? Holy butt-hurt, Batman!