DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! That poor girl. That poor, poor girl. Doesn't even have a chance! "Mack Brown would tell it again..." Oh yeah, little lady? You know what else Mack Brown would do? He'd sneak into your room after your parents were asleep and devour your soul with his butter teeth. He'd nab top recruiting class after top recruiting class and win five games with them. He'd turn Colt McCoy into a deity and lead an entire generation of unspoiled youths into believing he's some sort of heterosexual hero. He'd sign Garrett Gilbert, thus boosting his perceived talent level because that's how Rivals works which would then give SMU false hopes based on a pay-for-ratings internet publication. The only thing worse than SMU with real hope is SMU with false hope, because they bugger you about it so much more. Mack would start his own network and then not have any major service providers pick it up, making it one of the biggest media flops in recent memory.... actually, that's pretty great, scratch that. Worst of all, though, Mack would make me root for USC. USC!! A program by all merits more evil than Texas, yet I still cheered my ass off for them in 2005. WHY MUST YOU DESTROY MY MORALS?!?!
Seriously, read the comments for the vidja on youtube. It's fucking NAUSEATING. T-shirt fans, unite! A few of them do their own retelling. It's like "50 Shades of Vince Young." You can practically see those folks typing one handed. Vomit. I hate the Longhorn Network.
Seriously, ESPN exec who greenlit the LHN. What a dick!