Monday, June 18, 2012

Big 12 Orientation, Week 9: UT-Austin Football.

Lance Armstrong:  Didn't Go to College.
MM:  Actually went to Texas, but is a complete embarrassment.  
That's UT for you.

UT-Austin At-A-Glance:

  • Program Founded 1893
  • Overall Record of  858–330–33 
  • 50 Bowl Appearances (26-22-2 Record).
  • 4 Natty Titles.
  • 32 Conference Titles (3 Big 12).
  • 2 Heisman Winners.
  • One Big TV Screen that they talk about.  A lot.
  • Lots of assholes.
  • Even more player arrests.
History with TCU:  For all of us relative "newbie" fans - newbie meaning Patterson Era - who are super fired up to be playing UT on an annual basis, here's a nugget that will make you empathize with our older contingent who lack that excitement:  TCU and UT have played 79 times, and UT has won 58 of those meetings.  Only one was a tie.  That's not good for anyone, unless you're a UT fan.  From the year 1968 to 1991, TCU and UT met on the field in each season, 23 times if you're counting.  Of those 23 meetings, TCU won 0 of them.  So we've got a little making up to do.  UT currently holds a 4 game win streak over TCU dating back to the SWC, with the most recent meeting being the best first half/worst second half ever meeting in Andy Dalton's first season as a signal caller.  Perhaps the most well known meeting between the schools came in 1961 when #1 ranked Texas was upended by lowly TCU 6-0, spoiling their national title hopes, after which Darrel Royal referred to TCU as a bunch of "cockroaches."  Expect to hear witty banter like that Thanksgiving weekend in Austin.

Famous ex-UTers.
  • Ricky Williams
  • Earl Campbell
  • Colt McCoy's bum shoulder
  • Vince, "the Brain" Young.
  • Matt Nordegren - ha, kidding!
  • meh,  you probably know the rest.
Recent History:  Ever since Colt's daddy kept him out of the National Championship game and showed the Craig James qualities he's still showing in Cleveland, the on field fortunes of the University of Texas-Austin have been decidedly negative.  First came the Griffin Gilbert Experience which resulted in him becoming the next great failure under center at SMU.  Then came the Case McDavidash two headed monster of being bad at football.  Gilbert went 5-7, the latter two 8-5, which isn't good for a program as proud as UT.  They lost to Baylor.  TWICE.  They lost to UCLA.  They lost to Iowa State.  They had to hire a coach from Boise.  They had to beg fans to come to their games, something we're familiar with, but ironic for UT considering that's the majority of their anti-TCU ammunition.  

2012 Outlook:  They have Johnathan Gray, Malcolm Brown and the hair gel market cornered thanks to Manny Diaz.  They play the rare non-Conference road game at Ole Miss in the, "Who are the biggest frat douchers?" Bowl.They still don't have a QB, O Line or suitable toothpaste to cure Mack's permanent case of the butter teeth.  They will still be ranked in the pre-season Top 20, sign a Top 5 recruiting class and be expected to win the Big 12.  Sometimes I hate college football.

Miscellania:  I'm pretty worn out on these previews.  Someone needs to hate in the comments. 

7 comments:

Lyle Lanley said...

They named their football stadium after a Sooner.

SnK said...

Lebron James probably loves UT football. Same with Robert Henson.

hornedtoad said...

Garrett Gilbert is the SMU qb. Griffen is our TE.

Lyle Lanley said...

Doesn't being the next QB at SMU also make you the next QB at Eastern Washington?

SnK said...

Matthew McConaughy (sp?) is starring in the upcoming film Magic Mike. Need I say more?

LOLfolding said...

How could you not highlight the infamous Roy E. Williams?!?! Nothing says Texas more than making a career of being being a full blown retard while being overhyped and talking some idiot into paying you $54MM?

Reed said...

or mailing a super hot blonde who is way outta your league a wedding ring expecting her to say yes only because you played football at ut