Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Lessons in Graham "Seriously? Someone Hired the Worst Sportswriter not named Rick Reilly?" Watson Hate.

Former ESPN.com and current Yahoo! Sports "contributor" Graham Watson, in her prettier days.

As much shit as the world dumps upon ESPN and its various entities, I must say that with the advent of ESPNDallas.com, I've softed my stance on the Great Satan a little bit. After all, we should all feel we owe them a debt of gratitude for turning the Dallas Morning News online into a pay website, thus shielding the masses from Tim Cowlishaw and his Nascar/Hockey talk in the midst of football. Sure, they may have hired Jean-Jacques Taylor, but if they're furthering the demise of the DMN, then bring it on.

Despite that praise, however, Yahoo! Sports has always been my favorite of the online sports sites as they skip the fluff and mostly go for the hard-hitting, not always popular stories. Seriously, everything that ESPN.com and SI.com report on was probably sourced from a Yahoo! writer and theirs are the most vital twitter feeds for breaking news.

But after reading this piece of absolutely donkey shit from ESPN ex-pat/Yahoo! immigrant Graham Watson, I may have to give Yahoo! up for good until they fire that imbecile. Please take a second to read the above link, then come back and let's have a fireside chat, shall we?

If you've followed TCU Spring practice news this week, you'll likely have noticed that Patterson, on the eve of spring break, made the comment that he plans to drug test the football team when they return. It's a relatively unique move for a school like TCU that hasn't had a major, media-driven, over-blown drug bust in the past couple of months that has grabbed headlines far more than any on field or classroom success ever could, but I guess this is just a case of Patterson exercising caution. I mean, it's not like the media has been suggesting Patterson runs a rogue program, has lost control of his team and had let things spin so out of control that he didn't notice that the Zetas had set up shop right in his own locker room, treating their position as TCU athletes as a secondary endeavor to their primary one of destroying America's Youth, right?

Graham's piece starts out benignly enough, pointing out the reasons why Patterson MIGHT be a little edgy and concerned about the kinds of activities his group of 18-22 charges might engage in on a typical Spring Break trip. But then the wheels fall off, and when I say fall off I mean explode into the dumbest piece of dumbshit seaward "journalism" ever penned. Rather than summarize, let me just post two of the last three paragraphs here:

Still, spring break is a time for a young man to, well, do young man things on the beach with bikini-clad ladies who attend church services and have no questionable intentions or morals. Patterson is OK with a young man doing young man things as long as those young man things include playing Parcheesi at home with their 85-year-old grandfathers...

...The Horned Frogs better enjoy this break because it's probably the first time Patterson hasn't had them under lock and key considering the embarrassment the program endured last month. So be good on spring break, Horned Frogs, because you'll have to pee in a cup to prove you were, and remember, big brother Patterson is always watching.

I've read it five times now, and I still can't get her angle. I haven't seen many accounts that suggest Patterson handled the whole drug bust situation the wrong way. No matter that it's the most bullshit drug bust in history, no matter that FWPD lied to the school about how they would handle it in order to make it more sensational, no matter that the media did the same by highlighting the football players involved in order to make it a national story. Despite all of that, Patterson held back nothing, immediately removing the 4 alleged "dealers" from his team with TCU following suit and kicking them out of school entirely despite none of them having their day in court. Patterson has never been known as a lenient Coach when it comes to boneheads trying to screw up his locker room, so that shouldn't really shock anyone.

But apparently Jabba the Graham, a journalist who, mind you, COVERED TCU almost exclusively for years, just presumed GP was the Ron Paul of college coaches, ripping J's on the sidelines and calling for an end to the war on drugs, starting with his football team. Despite Patterson being one of TWO Coaches' of a Top 25 team to run criminal background checks on any player he recruits, apparently Graham figured it was all just a facade and that, with a Big 12 invite, he'd turn into Urban "As long as you win me games, you can rape and murder and pillage all you want" Meyer for the sake of a few Ws.

I'm extremely averse to pointing out the obvious, but is she REALLY that dense? Does she REALLY not think that, will all eyes on TCU with this drug investigation and the NCAA just LOOKING for a reason to destroy any program that looks at them crossways, that Patterson should just say, "nah, screw it - go have fun, take pictures of yourself in Superman underoos, do drugs, impregnate drunk white women and give me a reason to kick you off the team. After all, you're just a kid and its Spring Break, it's what you're SUPPOSED to do!!" That Patterson, he's such a big meanie!! Please Graham, fill us in on how you suggest he should run the team.

Patterson has built TCU on winning, but reputation plays a major role as well. Patterson is, to put it lightly, a tough son of a bitch to play for, but his players respect him and fear retribution for screwing up. Kids coming to TCU know this and make the choice to play for that type of personality. Heck, Nick Saban puts together top recruiting classes every year, and Nick Saban's wife doesn't even love Nick Saban. Apparently being stern works. It's easy to say that Brock, Johnson, Yendrey and Horn weren't doing anything that doesn't go on at any other major program, but that's no excuse. That's how Patterson has run his team for a decade plus and I'm personally glad they are gone. Yes, it sucks to have virtually no linebacker and questionable line depth, but if those guys were dumb and brazen enough to do what the affidavits say they did, then get 'em out.

But no, Graham would rather Patterson be just like any other dumbass Coach who sacrifices character for wins because caring too much makes him "big brother". Just ask USC, North Carolina and Miami, to name a few, what its like to let the inmates run the prison. She's probably just mad because she lost her local connect. FWPD, take note in your next round of raids.

6 comments:

Lyle Lanley said...

Yeah I was left with the feeling that, had Patterson NOT said anything, Watson and the rest of media would've ripped him for failing to control his program.

SnK said...

So wait, did she really just basically say all girls that go on spring break are good, church going people with fine moral compasses, and all male athletes are walking Neanderthal rape machines? Did I misread that??

SnK said...

Ok so I may have exaggerated, but still...what a fucking dunce.

Reed said...

Can't believe some editor let that out. It didn't even make sense. Nice reading some hate lessons again it's been too long

Travis said...

I might go all Bill Maher on her and use The word!

Coach Melissa said...

Read some of the comments just because I am traveling and had nothing better to do, and people are overwhelmingly supporting Coach P and him going public with his intentions. This was clearly the right step in restoring the national rep of our program. Dr Saturday is garbage without Matt Hinton.