Thursday, March 22, 2012

Defending the Horned Frog

It was brought to our attention from one of our readers that some blog named "straight pinkie" has named the Horned Frogs as the worst mascot in all of college sports.

Clearly, we disagree- but what makes it almost laughable is that this blog is based out of Kentucky. You know, the state whose major college teams are the Wildcats and the Cardinals. Those are both pretty awesome and unique names. This is kind of like having someone with the last name Smith tell you that your surname is stupid. I'd make fun of Kentucky's pro team names, but that state is too backwater to have one. And even OKLAHOMA has an NBA team now. The other funny part of this "honor" bestowed upon TCU is the reasoning behind the choice by straight pinkie's Cory Collins:

They’ve been the creatures inside the jar in your 8th grade science classroom, fighting for air as you wait to dissect their innocent, slimy bodies. Many of them didn’t have Elliott from E.T. to rescue them.

They’ve been the flat disks of green that color the highways, failing to make the other side because of large trucks and children who suck at video games.

They’ve been the puppets forced to marry grotesquely obese and annoying pigs, forever doomed to have private parts that smell like bacon bits and old ham.

They’ve been the princes awaiting a kiss from a beautiful woman. They’ve been the creatures accused of creating warts with their pee. They’ve been the bloated ball of sickly green that shows up in the swimming pool skimmer. They’ve even been tie-dyed and sold as emblems of peace.

You get the sense that Mr. Collins doesn't understand that Horned Frogs are actually lizards. But then again, maybe we should cut him some slack. Identifying creatures based on scientific classification is probably a tough thing to do in a state that still denies evolution. Maybe they should stick to horse racing, bourbon and cheating at college basketball and leave the science to the grown-ups.

9 comments:

Travis said...

I do like Bourbon though, so I will not hold the entire state of Kentucky responsible for this one ignoramus' weak attempt at humor. Still love our mascot's six pack abs!

cmlakey said...

I'm okay with it considering literally none of the reasons for criticism are related to the Texas Horned Lizard a.k.a. our beloved Horned Frog. Secondly, you hit the nail on the head with the state of Kentucky having no place in critiquing mascots. Obviously, I'm biased, but Horned Frogs aside, the best mascots are the quirky ones!

cmlakey said...

Side note: Do these people even pay attention to college athletics? Hawaii hasn't been the Rainbow Warriors since the 90's.

Unknown said...

Why should I care what some yahoo from Kentucky thinks? I love my Horned Frogs, and I love our mascot.

LA Frog said...

I would offer a comment but nobody would care because I'm a "Smith".

Lyle Lanley said...

Can you tell us how soon is now???

65frog said...

The horned lizard is the State reptile of the State of Texas and therefore a vaunted mascot.

Isn't Kentucky the place where the hillbillies say "Squeal, Piggy, Squeal" to one another?

HFrog77 said...

Since living outside the DFW area for the last 18 years, I've taken a certain amount of ribbing from midwest and southeast folks about the horned frog thing. I'd rather be a Horned Frog than a:

Buckeye
Crimson Tide
Corn Husker
Hilltopper
Aggy
Beaver
Terrapin
Redhawk
Pine Tree (OK, that's Stanford's band)
Sooner
Saluki

C'mon, I'll take the Horned Frog over any of that weirdness...

Chet Steadman said...

Rabble Rabble Rabble