Friday, February 10, 2012

Daily Discussion: [Redacted] College Rivalries.



Rivalries are the lifeblood of sport. Rivalries are why you hate someone you have never even met just because they wear a different shirt than you do and its TOTALLY logical. Rivalries are why we look at the TCU schedule, see that we play SMU, Tech and Baylor in succession, and stock up on blood pressure medicine like hibernating bears. Rivalries, and the hate derived therein, are why the 49ers and the Raiders are no longer able to play each other in a pre-season matchup, because their fans might literally murder one another.

But I think - and we are all certainly biased - that NCAA rivalries are the best that there are. You can love your NBA or NFL team, but you're never truly part of it like you are your college team. Embracing a pro sports team knows no loyalty as proximity only sometimes plays a role - just look at the rooting interests of one LeBron James. But when you choose a college team, you choose that team for the rest of your life. Seemingly normal families have holidays weekends ruined because of an Auburn-Alabama game. There probably aren't many doing the same over Lakers/Clippers.

And when you think of the great college rivalries, what immediately comes to mind? HATE. Auburn/Alabama: HATE! UT/OU: HATE! Kansas/Missouri? Probably doesn't spring to mind, but it should because Mizzou fans openly celebrate their ancestors murdering the shit out of a bunch of Kansasans back in the 1800s as a basis for the rivalry. A rivalry emphasizing real life events related to the murdering of citizens in said rival's town? That's some good hate right there.

But even the most "storied" rivalries can have their warts. Take what's going on between Urban Meyer and Brady Hoke at Michigan and Ohio State. Both men BLEED their school's colors-Hoke because he played for the Wolverines and Meyer because he grew up in the region and was a T shirt fan. So you would expect them to be a little more passionate about the "Michigan Man" bullshit and whatever it is to be a true Buckeye than your average mercenary head man. So what do they do, what big, bold statements do they make? Brady Hoke only refers to OSU as "ohio" and Meyer only refers to Michigan as "that school up north." That's it, that's their answer, that's their version of hate. And that pretty much kills that rivalry's significance for me. That's all you got, guys? No stereotypes? No hate speech? We're REALLY supposed to believe not mentioning either school by name is supposed to serve some kind of a big statement?

So this got me to thinking, and I realized that, while probably the most notable, these two are by no means the only offenders. Heck, in our own region we have A&M and their refusal to call Texas by anything other than tu. WE REVERSED YOUR ORDER AND REFUSE TO CAPITALIZE IT, BUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRNNNNNNNN!!!! SMU folks, hardly alone in this particular strategy, actually have license plates reading "TCUWHO" and have sunk to the low point of printing up "TCU SUCKS" shirts for wide distribution. That is, when they aren't putting said money up their nose. Heck, some folks at Texas Tech claim that they have a statue of a horse on their campus, the direction of which causes its ass to face College Station which, if true, probably takes the prize as lamest insult of all time.

In other words, for every Auburn/Alabama tree-killin' hate fest, there's a dog worshipper waiting in the wings ready to zing you with some abbreviation transposin'.

So your discussion question is: What are the gayest college rivalries and traditions you can think of for us to poop on? Merry Friday.

19 comments:

bscooter26 said...

Boise St and Fresno St. They play for a milk can.

FrogHorn07 said...

Gay rival traditions big 12 edition.

1) the horns down symbol when playing UT. It looks so lame and pretty much says I am too gay do my own hand signal, so I will just turn yours upside down.

2) the "rock chalk chicken hawk f*** KU" chant at K-State. Gay.

3) Any wizard of oz reference against a kansas school. Really? That movie is 70 years old. Gay.

Sir Wesley Willis said...

Haha I didn't even think to include trophies in the post! If that's the case, the Big Ten could have a multi-part feature.

Michael said...

BYU - Utah: Battle of the Mormons

Tanner said...

i don't know, i remember when the max hall at byu got beer thrown on him or something and called out the utah fans. i think they have a health hate up there.

heres one, though. washington-wash state. something about apples? who cares, aren't they all just logging trees and growing beards? plus they've both been quite turrrrible lately.

and also, atm and pretty much...anyone.

heres food for thought. I have a friend who played football at ut. he commented that you can be penalized for doing stuff in the endzone after a td, usually related to taunting, but atm never gets called for horns down, and they do it quite often. discuss.

Cro-magnon Frog said...

It's going to drive me crazy when I see a TCU fan giving the horns down sign when we play them. So GAY.

I believe Utah-BYU have a very strong hate filled rivalry.

I can't think of many gay rivalries other than the ones already stated. But whatever happened to the good ole days where an opposing team would sneak in and hang the baylor bear or slaughter Bevo or set the rice owl on fire? There used to be some amazing criminal hate back in the day. What happened to that?

cmlakey said...

Basically, any seemingly "clever" attempt to create some bizarro superman-esk version of another school's tradition is a fail. If I start to see the upside down horns thing become a problem when we play Texas, I'm calling up V-Bo to start a campaign against it. 1.) Our hand sign is top-notch, we don't need to throw that crap out. 2.) Don't give them the satisfaction of thinking they matter that much to us.

Also, kind of in the same category, but slightly different: any replacement of the letter "U" with "WHO" is so incredibly lame. Congratulations, it's college athletics, pretty much every team has a U in it's name. It's not original and took absolutely no creativity to think of.

Travis said...

Sorry FrogHorn07, love the hate Mizzou and K-State fans bring at KU. Probably because I fucking can't stand the lame ass state I had the misfortune of growing up in, but at least I only lived 1/2 a mile from the fun side of K.C. I will enjoy the Frogs kicking KU's ass every year, and oh by the way, I don't give a shit about basketball, so they can have both of those wins from now until the end of time. Also, I happen to like the Chicken hawk cheers and too bad Mizzou got too classy last Saturday and didn't chant some of their hate cheers. Trust me, Mizzou and KU is the best college hate in all of college sports.

Travis said...

Sorry FrogHorn07, love the hate Mizzou and K-State fans bring at KU. Probably because I fucking can't stand the lame ass state I had the misfortune of growing up in, but at least I only lived 1/2 a mile from the fun side of K.C. I will enjoy the Frogs kicking KU's ass every year, and oh by the way, I don't give a shit about basketball, so they can have both of those wins from now until the end of time. Also, I happen to like the Chicken hawk cheers and too bad Mizzou got too classy last Saturday and didn't chant some of their hate cheers. Trust me, Mizzou and KU is the best college hate in all of college sports.

Rotten Arsenal said...

The Horns Down thing is idiotic. I hate UT, but I will smack anybody I see doing that during a game.

I always find it hilarious when SMU and Baylor throw out the TCWHO BS. I mean, until this past year when Baylor had three awesome offensive players (who are all leaving) to overcome the horrific waste of space called their offense, Baylor was a National Joke. And SMU's only real recognition is at the tail end of the rumor that "CRAIG JAMES KILLED FIVE HOOKERS WHILE AT SMU".
Get over yourselves, BWHO and SMWHO.

J. Thaddeus Toad said...

I wonder if sb used to have any gay viewership. Classy post.

Bunyon's axe is lame.

shortnkerley's said...

Going out on a limb here, but I'm gonna assume that even our gay readers refer to things as "gay" when they aren't in fact homosexual things. That's how the world go. Either way, that was such a gay comment, and not the homosexual kind.

Evolutions Counseling and Consulting said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chuck Dunning said...

Repeated, intentional use of the word "gay" to mean silly, stupid, or ridiculous, and especially in conjunction with a rainbow flag, reveals an intentional denigration of people in the LGBT community. It doesn't matter if some gay people might also use the term that way. I'm straight and I find it offensive. If there is any merit at all in this article about college rivalries, then please edit it so that it no longer makes use of "gay" or the rainbow flag. If that can't be done, then delete it!

Chuck Dunning
TCU Allies

Sir Wesley Willis said...

Yikes, didn't realize the ACLU had such long tentacles as to meddle in the affairs of a two bit TCU sports website.

I considered editing the post, but it's drawn such a buzz on twitter, I'm keeping it for the site traffic. SHOCK VALUE! IT SELLS!

Sir Wesley Willis said...

Also, if you really think this is intended as a direct shot at the gay community, you're giving us way too much credit.

Chuck Dunning said...

Okay, Sir Wesley, I apologize for giving you too much credit. But the "I didn't realize" or "I was just joking" argument doesn't help you much. Also, saying you're leaving the offensive content in because of the shock value only adds evidence that you're knowingly and willingly being callous and verbally abusive, which actually refutes your own attempt at a dodge. At TCU, our mission statement includes being an ethical citizen and responsible leader. I don't see you doing either. Please try.

Sir Wesley Willis said...

I guess it's a good thing spitblood isn't a subsidiary of TCU then.

We don't have a mission statement, but if there was one it'd be along the lines that Spitblood is the epitome of free speech. It's what we PRIDE ourselves on. Do some of us take it too far on occasion? Of course, but we're nameless, faceless internet bloggers. That's kind of our right.

The overall availability of information in the internet age is a blessing and a curse. Chances are you're going to run into something you don't like or rubs you the wrong way. The blessing of that, though? You can look away and find something more to your tastes.

That's just a roundabout way of saying, if you don't like the heading of this post, you're probably not going to like a lot of things on this site because that's pretty tame by comparison. It's your right to read and your right not to read. The decision is yours.

Now, I'll admit, the flag probably took it from "gentle nudge" to "deliberate baiting" and for that I apologize. It was a lack of ethical lucidity on my part.

Regardless, this isn't the kind of attention spitblood needs so I'll edit the post. You win this round.

Chuck Dunning said...

Thank you for the redaction, Sir Wesley. I respect that you accepted your responsibility and acted honorably. I sympathize very much with the issue of free speech, after all that is what we are both doing here. But free speech can also be ethical and responsible speech, as you have shown you understand. I applaud you for doing so. Sincere thanks and best wishes for your future writing!