Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Rough Start for the Hooker Killer

Our old friend and Jack the Ripper impersonator Craig James isn't off to a very good start in his campaign to replace Kay Bailey Hutchison in the US Senate. According to the Houston Chronicle, the former SMU employee is polling at just 4%. Four percent? That's almost an entire point for every prostitute he murdered during his college days!

I'm joking, of course. I don't think the fact* that CRAIG JAMES KILLED FIVE HOOKERS WHILE AT SMU has anything to do with his polling numbers. According to the Chronicle, he is struggling because "he's largely unknown and unpopular amongst those that do know him." Then again, perhaps they were unusually popular hookers who held an inordinate amount of political sway? Nah, it's probably just because he's a douche bag.

If you're like me and want to get Craig to sign your copy of Swing Your Sword, you might want to become acquainted with the events page on his campaign website. He's got an event in Plano on February 4th, and is only charging $100/head to attend.



*- I use the term "fact" here fairly liberally as there has been, to this point, no evidential proof that CRAIG JAMES KILLED FIVE HOOKERS WHILE AT SMU. It may be beneficial to open up a line of dialogue in the comments section to state our thoughts on whether or not is is true that CRAIG JAMES KILLED FIVE HOOKERS WHILE AT SMU.

3 comments:

Rotten Arsenal said...

You know what would be worth it? Get Craig James to sign your book and then afterward, Add the message "Yes, I did kill 5 Hookers while at SMU. Signed,"

general125 said...

Do you think Craig James killed five hookers while he was at SMU with a chainsaw, like in American Psycho?

NurseFrog31 said...

Maybe Craig James killed five hookers while at SMU by smothering them... that's a plausible way for Craig James to have killed five hookers while he was at SMU.