Saturday, December 17, 2011

Lessons in SMU Hate: Bowl History Schmystery

Are those drills or coked up dance moves?

SMU addicts will try and make the argument that they are somehow more relevant/richer tradition/better known/more awesome/etc than TCU. Granted, both schools have a national championship that dates prior to the US entering WWII, and each school has a Heisman winner, but that's pretty much where the "tradition" sharing ends. Despite this year's upset at AGC, SMU hasn't been anywhere near TCU's weight class in forever. Really, you don't storm the field after a win over a heated rival if it isn't a rare and special thing (that goes for you too, Baylor).

But it's one thing to be delusional enough to try and convince other fans that your paltry accomplishments are worthy of lengthy discussions... that's what fans do. But how would you feel as a fan when your dumb, "looks like a frat boy friend character on a sitcom" Quarterback goes on TV and shows that he is A) trying to make the recent mediocre accomplishments of the team sound like this is the greatest SMU team ever and B) is completely ignorant of his own school's history?

Truthfully, I really only needed to reprint JJ McDERmott's quote, but quite honestly, I was captivated by whatever the hell #17 (Jeremy Johnson?) is doing in the end zone just before JJ starts blathering. Anyway, JJ sez:
"I think it's the first time in history that we've been to three bowl games in a row and, uh, we we're certainly looking forward to it. I think, uh, I don't think SMU has ever won two out of three either, so, uh, we're looking forward to that opportunity"

Then June does his best "Excited to be in Highland Park" imitation and says something, but I was too busy at that point thinking JJ McD couldn't possibly have any idea what he was talking about. SMU has been playing football for almost a century and this can't POSSIBLY be the first time that SMU has been to bowls in 3 consecutive years. So I went and looked it up. 

Now, I had actually forgotten just how few bowl games SMU has been to since 1915 (Total: 13), so the odds that McD was actually right went up. But nope... McDope was wrong. There it was. Starting with the final year of the Pony Express, the Mustangs went to bowl games following the 1982, 1983, & 1984 seasons. Sure, these were before any of the current players were even alive, but hey, don't humiliate your alumni by completely forgetting that brief period in the early 1980's when SMU football was relevant, Dale Hansen hadn't caused the Death Penalty, and the bodies of those 5 hookers Craig James allegedly killed while at SMU were still warm. I mean, seriously JJ... back then, the Ponies were in National Championship talk. Your three crappy bowl games and two shared conference championships are like home runs in the over-40 church softball league... big friggin deal. 
And he digs himself in deeper by saying that SMU has never won 2 out 3 bowls either (which makes sense if they hadn't been to a series of three before... nice job boy genius)... except that of those three bowl games in from 1982-84 (the 1982 season had them in the Cotton Bowl on Jan 1, 1983, however), SMU won 2 of them... which means that JJ is wrong again.

So way to go there, bonehead. You have to wonder about those stories where June Jones gets mad because SMU doesn't let him sign the recruits that the Ivy League wanted because they don't meet SMU's standards. JJ McD doesn't quite seem like Cougar High material, much less Harvard of the South.

Here's my ultimate point... I don't expect any player to have an encyclopedic knowledge of his team's complete history. I'm sure I'd be disappointed about some of the things that I take for granted as basic Horned Frog info that our current squad doesn't know anything about. But if you are going to go on TV and say things that make your accomplishments sound unprecedented and astounding, perhaps you should double check your information before you go looking like a moron. Have that much respect for your school and the guys that came before you. Really. It takes less time to find out SMU's bowl record and results than it does to save a bunch of money on your booster paid for Trans-Am car insurance (was that reference lost on you as well, Mr. McDermott?)

Seriously, why does SMU even have a football team? It doesn't sound like anybody, even their own players, really give a rat's ass about SMU football.