A scene Craig hoped he'd never see again.
Saturday should, by all means, be a pretty exciting day for TCU fans. Barring a catastrophic upset, the Frogs will win their third consecutive Mountain West Conference Championship, and fourth overall and exit the Conference on the highest of high notes. Besides that, the Frogs enter Saturday with at least an outside shot of making a third consecutive BCS Bowl and potential Top 15 ranking. Not bad for a team that lost to Baylor and SMU. HOWGODWHYWHYWHYW!??!?!
However, if there's one thing I'm genuinely overjoyed and, to be honest, a little giddy to see it's the post game trophy presentation exchange between Coach Patterson and MWC Commissioner Craig Thompson. Thompson has made a lot of bone headed decisions in his tenure, perhaps none moreso than turning down a potential ESPN contract in lieu of themtn. How's that working for you, Craiggy boy? Watch the second half of the TCU/Wyoming game? Oh, that's right, you couldn't BECAUSE YOUR SHIT NETWORK LOST SERVICE DURING THE BROADCAST!!! But, of all the negative decisions Thompson has made, none has irked Horned Frogs fans more than the one to move the TCU/Boise game from Fort Worth to Idaho after our decision to join the Big East came down. Given, it's not ALL Thompson's fault because the rest of the MWC AD's had to vote for it, but Thompson surely led the charge and, despite how he tried to justify the decision, it was a serious scorned lover move. If you believe in such things, you have to think the bad juju generated from the move played a LITTLE role in the outcome of that game. I'm planning a full blown Craig Thompson's greatest hits piece in the regular season/bowl game interim though, so I'll save the rest of my opinions.
So my question to you, the readers, is how should Patterson approach the situation? Should he take the high road, thank Commission Thompson for his pre-Big East support of TCU and move on? Or should he embrace his inner smug ass bastard and completely throw it back in his face? Silly question, right? Clearly we at SB are in DEEP end of the latter pool, so here are a few suggestions:
- Hey Craig, how my ass taste? Surely you're all familiar with THIS video featuring Shaq rap-quiring of Kobe Bryant exactly how does his bootyhole taste. It caused quite the stiry in the early days of the cell phone camera era. But how great with this be: After the game, they bring out the TV cameras and stage for the trophy presentation. Craig gives his schpiel re: How great TCU has performed, how sad the MWC is to see them go, etc and turns to hand the trophy to GP. As GP takes the trophy though, the jumbotron starts up and plays this video, except GP's head is photoshopped onto Shaq's body and the word "Kobe" is overdubbed with "Craig?" I think it'd be pretty perfect, meself, and if I had the technical ability and wherewithal to pull it off, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Perhaps TCU's own Red Productions can assist?
- Hand the Trophy to someone else. You may have forgotten during the lockout, but this actually isn't the first mega-anticipated Commissioner/Winning team trophy exchange to go down in the Metroplex this year. He's been quiet lately, but there was a time when Mavs owner Mark Cuban was among NBA Commish David Stern's harshest critics, and it's not that far fetched to rewatch the 2006 Finals through the lens of Stern instructing the refs to throw the whole thing so he wouldn't have to reward Cuban. Cuban got the better of him this year, but when it came time for the Trophy presentation, he opted instead for original Mavs owner Don Carter to take the trophy from Stern. So what if GP brought back Eric Hyman, Danny Morrison and CDC and had them jointly take the Trophy in a nod to the roots of TCU's current success? Hyman would likely turn down the invitation due to his current role at SC, but Morrison's football team is TERRIBLE so perhaps he'd be up for a nostalgic trip down memory lane and his better days? Heck, have Dan Jenkins fill in for him. It'd be a classy move, while at the same time belittling Thompson. A win/win.
- Drop the Trophy. Or yeah, he could just drop and break the trophy, instruct no one to touch it, then just walk away from it altogether. Or better yet, just don't accept it at all. Or mail it to Boise kicker Dan Goodale.
Ok Ok, I've gone too far. Your award winning ideas in the comments.