Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Laramie Snowpocalypse Update

It's not quite gonna be an August afternoon in Texas, but the forecast for Saturday in Laramie is at least improving a little bit. The high winds and 70% chance of snow remain, but the daytime high temperature has increased to 34 degrees. Sure, that's still real cold- but for our boys from Texas (and the brave TCU fans that make the trip), I'd say every degree counts.

Late Afternoon Grumpy.

No, not that kind.

With spitpurple's muzzle relating to his sexual harassment allegations against Herman Cain apparently pertaining to SpitBlood as well, here are a few articles you've missed this week:

Let's Go Bowling

With TCU's fourth consecutive defeat of BYU last Friday, the Frogs have now reached bowl eligibility for the seventh straight season and for the 13th time in 14 years. They still have four games left in the 2011 regular season, but let's take a peak at where the Frogs may be bowling in December and who they might face when they get there. Here are the MWC's current bowl partners, so be prepared for one of these as this year's bowl destination:

Las Vegas Bowl
-December 22nd in Las Vegas
-ESPN's projected opponent: Cal
-Payout: $1 million per team

Poinsettia Bowl
-December 21st in San Diego
-ESPN's projected opponent: Nevada
-Payout: $500k per team

Independence Bowl
-December 26th in Shreveport
-ESPN's projected opponent: Wake Forest or Miami
-Payout: $1.1 million per team

New Mexico Bowl
-December 17th in Albuquerque
-ESPN projected opponent: Eastern Michigan or Ohio
-Payout: $750k per team

Now, there are probably some of you out there thinking that TCU could run the table, have 8-0 Houston drop a game and the Frogs end up in the BCS again this year. I suppose less likely things have ended up happening, but because I'm using company time to type this up I'm going to just table that one for a later date. That's what the comments section is for, you crazies.

Barring a miracle BCS run, the Frogs have a decent shot at facing a familiar problem. I say likely because I'm confident that they can end up either winning the conference (but not being deemed BCS-worthy) or finishing in second to a BCS-bound Boise squad. In either case, they would give the Las Vegas Bowl the opportunity to pass on them for the third time in seven seasons. You might recall that the MWC Champion and 10-1 Frogs were passed on by the Vegas folks in 2005, and had to pull quite a few strings to get a Houston Bowl match up with Iowa State. Then again in 2008, when the 10-2 Frogs finished second behind a Sugar Bowl-bound Utah squad, Vegas again gave TCU the thumbs-down in favor of 3rd place BYU. Thankfully, the Poinsettia Bowl folks felt they owed TCU (after having matched them up against an inferior Northern Illinois team in 2006) and managed to snag Boise State to face the Frogs in San Diego.

So what if the Frogs are the top team available to the Las Vegas folks again? Would they take them this time? Here's another question...after having been brushed aside twice, would TCU even want to be invited to a pre-Christmas bowl game nearly 1,200 miles away? Am I the only one who thinks they'd be better off telling the Vegas Bowl "thanks but no thanks" and taking their talents to Shreveport? Think about it- it pays $100,000 more per team (more money is more gooder), it's less than a four-hour drive from Fort Worth (more fans could come), it has the possibility of being against a high-profile ACC team (or maybe just an ACC team, but whatever) and it's after Christmas (when most of you will be off of work and itching to get out of the house).

To me, it seems like a no-brainer. And you've got to know that the Independence Bowl folks signed on with the MWC with just three teams in mind: Air Force (who they had last year), BYU (who is no longer available), and TCU. I'm not trying to get you all fired up for a trip to the Independence Bowl, but my money's on the Frogs- win or lose in Laramie and win or lose in Boise- heading to Shreveport the day after JC's birthday. I'll be there.

A Little Hump Day SMU Hate

In the 3 games since their freak win vs. TCU, SMU quarterback J.J. McDermott has accounted for 1 win and 7 interceptions, and it appears SMU has taken the "we had our big win and our program hit it's peak, now let's say F the rest of the season" much like Tech has done up in Lubbock after beating OU. McDermott is up to 11 picks on the year since replacing Kyle Padron aka Yao Ming Jr., who has a 0:3 TD/INT ratio as well this year. So surely the 1,900 SMU fans that make it into the stadium from the boulevard on Saturdays over in University Park have to be fed up with the interceptions and useless turnovers costing them games they should win, right?? You've got to believe ole Junes is looking to bring in a QB to succeed McDermott and potentially Yao Jr. after next season. Well, it appears they've found their man!


Welcome aboard, Garrett Gilbert!!! How do you fix 14 interceptions by Padron in 2010 and a combined 14 interceptions through 8 games by Padron and McDermott this season? Well the answer is simple: you bring in arguably the most turnover prone QB in college football over the past year and a half (let's not forget his 4 interceptions and 1 fumble BCS national title game, although that seems unfair since he was a true freshman). Gilbert, the former national high school player of the year, followed up his 5 turnover performance in Pasadena with a 5-7, 10 touchdown, 17 interception sophomore campaign. I couldn't find how many times he fumbled, but from what I saw and what I recall, it was A LOT. 2011 consisted of just 2 starts for Griffin's less talented older brother, with his UT career culminating in a benching against BYU after a 2-8 start with just 8 yards and 2 interceptions. Gilbert hasn't seen the field since then and had season ending shoulder surgery and obviously elected to transfer, and if his first 2+ years are any indication of what kind of talent the Mustponies are getting, we should expect our all-growed-up secondary to catch about as many passes as our WR's when he sets foot in the refurbished Amon G. Carter Stadium 2 years from now.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Garrett Gilbert for a couple of things that he's done for the college football world. First of all, I'd like to thank you immensely for setting back the University of Texas football program AT LEAST 2 years with your quarterback play. 5-7 was a disaster, and now that they've had to look elsewhere for a QB, this season is pretty much a wash for them as well. And what if David Ash or Case McCoy isn't the guy? I'd say it's very possible that neither one of them is the future there, so they could be set back even further (although Malcolm Brown looks pretty salty carrying the ball, and Johnathan Gray can't hurt). Second, I'd like to thank you for choosing SMU. I'm sure we'll get to see the 40 people that read spin the Gilbert addition as a huge win that will bring their program to new heights, and they've already assumed it could help them get little brother and current TCU commit Griffin (don't worry, he's a TE) to switch to SMU, and from what I hear, that ain't gonna happen. By choosing SMU, you're helping fill their scattered coke brains with false hope and inevitable delusional thoughts. That entertains me. In fact, I hope former blog troll "Tyler Springer" will come back and talk about how great this is for them. We've had a shortage of opposing fan idiocracy lately, and I think he'd be a great addition.

I'd also like to give you some advice for how to survive (literally) during your tenure at SMU. Honestly, you seem like a pretty good guy and probably pretty level headed, however, that can change quickly at SMU. I hope you drive a foreign luxury sedan, and if you don't I'd call dad immediately and see if he can hook you up with an E-Class Benz or something. It's okay if it's used, most of theirs are, but it's all about faking the image of a spoiled rich kid. If you don't, you will become a social pariah. Actually, forget dad- find out where Sherwood Blount lives, call him up, and demand a new Bentley. Hell, they hooked up Eric Dickerson with a new Trans-Am back in the 80s, so I don't think that's too much to ask. Also, if you're having trouble making friends, I'd suggest replacing your standard wooden coffee table with a large glass mirror. The students at SMU will sniff out that piece of furniture (literally) within minutes of you placing it there. I'm not suggesting you partake in drug use, but once word gets around campus that you have a 4x3 mirror in between your couch and 50 inch LCD screen, you'll have "friends" at your apartment 24/7 (seriously, 24/7, because they'll be too coked out to sleep or leave).

Modern Day Sherwood Blount- Now get G.G. his Bentley!!!

The good news for you, Garrett, is that unlike in Austin, once you litter the opposing secondary with interceptions and throw bounce passes to your WR's for a few weeks you won't be assaulted with boo's and calls for the backup QB. I don't think they've topped the 20K mark in attendance yet this year, and the 14K or so that are in attendance are the least football-savvy human beings you will ever encounter. When the goin' gets tough, just remember that you are and always will be second fiddle to SMU Blvd and nobody is watch nor gives a shit how you play. Now that I think about it, you've made a very, very smart move choosing SMU and SMU likewise made a great decision choosing you. See, you can suck the world up at SMU and nobody will notice nor care- that's what they've grown to expect over there. As for SMU, the addition of Garrett Gilbert gives you a high profile name to hang your hat on, although it's clear that June Jones and the rest of the guys doing the recruiting over at SMU are just like their fan base- they haven't been paying much attention to football games, because anyone that's been watching would avoid this guy like the plague.

So congrats, SMU and Garrett Gilbert. It's the perfect marriage. It's like the college football version of the Kris Humphries/Kim Kardashian marriage. I have no doubt that this will end perfectly for you both, and by perfectly I mean I can't wait to watch it go up in flames after about 2 months. Also, I'm well aware of the whole SMU to the Big East thing, but it's really not even worth writing about since that conference is in about as good of shape as the MWC is currently. So yeah, who cares about that?