Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Big East throws a Dollar Bill on a string to MWC/CUSA teams


So, AP reports that the Big East is going to formally invite Boise St, Navy and Air Force (Football only) as well as SMU, Houston, and Central Florda (all sports) to join.
Now, truthfully, we don't much care about this since we've apparently dodged a bullet and now don't have to worry about any of the conferences involved. But at the same time, isn't it kinda fun to think about Craig Thompson hiding under his desk crying and mumbling "but we gave you everything, Boise State! Why would you leave?!?!?"
And further, what does the future hold for the BE and the non-AQ Conferences? The WAC is gutted, with what strength it had going to the MWC, which looks as though it will now be no better (if even that) than the old full strength WAC, even if they do merge with the soon to be weakened CUSA. And then the Big East becomes basically another version of CUSA.
Maybe the Big East keeps its BCS AQ status, but good god... they might be even less impressive than the TCU/Utah/BYU MWC.

PPS Campaign 2011 - $10 A Win


It's that time again to donate $10 to The Purple People Seaters Fund for the win on Friday. We have accrued $440 thus far this year. If you haven't already, hop on board our 2011 campaign and donate $10 a win, or $60 for the year. Only one person remembered to donate last week for our school record breaking performance against UNM. It's pay day, no excuses. Let's go. Donate here.

You're going to want one of these shirts

During all of the conference realignment drama of the past two years, how many times did you hear someone say "they should just bring back the Southwest Conference" or even say it yourself? Some of our readers are probably too young to remember the old SWC, but many more of you are probably still mourning the loss of it.

Two enterprising friends of Spit Blood picked up on that prevailing sentiment and recently acquired the rights to use the Southwest Conference logo. They are now selling some sweet T-shirts and hats on their website, so order yourself some purple SWC gear and get started on your Christmas shopping by buying some green & gold or burnt orange or maroon stuff for your "friends" that cheer for those other schools. You can even become a friend of the SWC on facebook, where I'm sure there'll be an opportunity or two to put those other fans in their place from time to time.

And ladies, if you're having trouble finding the right present for the man in your life- look no further. Another friend of Spit Blood has launched his very own line of cologne: Moonshine, which comes with the promise that it'll "repeal her prohibitions":



(WARNING: DO NOT DRINK)

Wyoming (Weather) Hate


Wyoming deserves a big "snow penis" on their field Saturday.

I, like just about every other TCU fan, came into this season expecting to completely curb stomp Wyoming into the ground per usual, and we might still do that. I actually thought it might be more of a beat-down than ever since their 9 year starting QB whose parents prefer hyphens and poor spelling, Austyn Carta-Samuels, would no longer be donning the poo-poo and pee-pee this fall. Seriously, I'd say there's about a 75% chance he was raised by a duo of lesbian art teachers somewhere in Northern California based solely on his name. So naturally, you would think things were looking pretty bleak up there in the hate crime capitol of the world. They were picked preseason to be 6th, just ahead of UNLV and of course, New Mexico, the worst program in the history of FBS football. Somehow they've managed to jump out to a 5-2 start though and are poised to make a bowl game this year (they still have New Mexico on the schedule, so there's #6). Freshman QB Brett Smith has guided their to some pretty impressive numbers this year, but they really hadn't beaten anyone all year, knocking off such powerhouses as Weber State, Bowling Green, the aforementioned dreadful UNLV team, and Texas State, who needs to be commended for being able to fight off all of their venereal diseases and play football every Saturday. But last Saturday Wyoming shook up the MWC hierarchy by defeating San Diego State, who seems to have really taken a step back without the guidance of Brady Hoke. So, all of those factors have caused me to take a step back and think this could be a little tougher than in previous years...

And then I saw Lyle's post regarding the weather report, and saw this nightmare when I looked it up on my own. I mean, there's cold, miserable weather, and then there's Saturday's forecast in Laramie. A high of 27 with 20 mph winds and a 70% chance of precipitation? Uhhh, fuckkkkkkk that. Our entire team is going to be dressed like Elvis Andrus on a semi-cold day. And 20 mph winds on top of a snowy, miserable day in a shit-hole like Laramie? I'll pass. If there's ever going to be a challenge to get up for a game, which starts at noon locally mind you, this is the one. I realize I'm no finely tuned college athlete, but I struggle to get out of my own bed when it's under 50 degrees in the morning. The Frogs will have to wake up in some dumpy hotel in Laramie at the ass crack of dawn when it's about 18 degrees and make their way to the stadium. I can't imagine a worse way to wake up than that.

If that doesn't all sound miserable enough, Wyoming's stadium, as mentioned earlier by Lyle as well, boasts the highest altitude of any FBS school (7,215 ft). So let's add all this up- we have a young team who has been playing in pretty much ideal temperatures for every game this year headed up to Laramie to play against a team looking to become bowl eligible and coming off one of their biggest wins in recent memory. On top of that, it's going to be in the 20's with 20 mph winds and snow, and we are playing in extremely high altitude, something I promise you many of our young players have never dealt with. I'm assuming most of our readers, being the elitist TCU grads that you are, have spent time in the Rockies and know how much a bitch that altitude can be. Now imagine playing football for 3.5 hours in it while a freezing wind and snow bitch slaps you in the face. No. Freaking. Thanks.

So by now some of you may be wondering how this is me hating on Wyoming at this point, and the truth is I'm really not. I'm hating weather. More specifically, I'm hating that weather in Laramie, Wyoming is going to force our young team will to play football in a town that's likely to be a covered by a couple feet of snow by gameday. Wyoming...how ridiculous. Don't you know that most of the world is warming up and early November blizzards are super gay and reserved only for a bunch of dickheads on the east coast to deal with? Seriously, we have athletes from Texas, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Florida (or used to), and other places that don't have to deal with shit like this in October and November. In the real states, like Texas, the moderate fall climates we deal with are perfect for football weather, which is probably why the best football in the country is played in the south. Elite college football players don't want to spend 6 weeks of their football season getting tackled on grass so frozen it skins your elbows. No talented player wants to play several games a year where they have more worried about whether or not their genitals will defrost in front of a fire after the game than catching passes and making tackles. Did you see the Big 10 this weekend? I think I saw like 3 of the ugliest football games of my entire life on Saturday, and it was ALL due to snowstorms and shitty weather. Well, that and the fact that Big 10 football players are less athletic than Joe Paterno himself. I worry that that may be the type of shit football we see Saturday afternoon, and of course, it's all to be blamed on weather and the fact that Wyoming as a whole just sucks beyond belief.

Having said all that, I still think we win handily. We will run all over them.