Thursday, September 1, 2011

Blog Exchange Questions

Last year, we were involved with an exchange of questions between SB and leading up to the game. This year they reached out to us to do the same. Warning: These questions are deep, and worth answering. Give it your best shot.

1. Do you think Paschall will be able to complete over 90% of his passes against Phil Bennett's defense? We understand he was probably the highest recruited QB that TCU has ever signed, so we're expecting big things now that Red Baby Jesus has graduated.

2. Are you impressed that Gary Patterson can be so successful as a coach when he clearly spends a significant amount of time surfing the Baylor internet message boards?

3. If TCU played a legitimate Strength of Schedule, what BCS school do you think they would most likely be on par with? Show your work.

4. Is every TCU player sporting an ankle tat in solidarity with their 45-ish year old super fan almost got to know Coach Kaz personally?

5. How long do you think the Big East football conference will last before it disbands and where does TCU go after that?

Rotten Shite: Toby's Business College and other Waco Crap

Who the Hell recruited these dorks?

So, I'm sure that all of you know that TCU started playing football in Waco in 1896. But do you know that Baylor didn't start playing until 1899? So, who was the first opponent to play TCU?

That honor goes to the goofily named "Toby's Business College" (sometimes known as Toby's Business School). TCU played their first game around Thanksgiving 1896 and beat TBC 8-6. TCU (then new to both Waco and the name TCU) only started experimenting withfootball because of co-founder Addison Clark's son, "Little Addie", had fallen in love with the sport after having spent time up north.

But what the %$#* is a Toby's Business College? Some dude named William Toby, a civil engineer turned bookkeeper, started teaching night classes for accounting/bookkeeping in the early 1890's. Apparently, he was good at it and opened a full school later, had a correspondence school in New York, was one of the first Texans listed in Who's Who, a member of many prestigious accounting groups, was a handwriting expert, and wrote several books. He died in 1937 and his school closed during World War II.

And despite all of his achievements, he's now a footnote in history as the guy who provided cannon fodder for the beginnings of TCU Football.

Extra info: TCU didn't declare purple their color or the Horned Frog as the mascot until 1897. TCU beat the crap out of TBC one more time, 41-0 in 1898. TBC was also Baylor's first game in 1899. The Bears played four games their first year, beating TBC twice, losing to the Aggies, and playing to a scoreless draw in the first Horned Frog-Bear meeting. As far as I can tell, TBC played those four games and gave up playing for good.

Other random crap related to recent topics

According to the illustrious Colby D. Hall (Longtime Dean of TCU, player in the first TCU football game, and namesake of the perfectly named "Colby Hall") in his 1947 book, "History of Texas Christian University", "A Catastrophe and a Challenge came down with shocking suddenness on Tuesday, March 22, 1919[sic], at 8:30 p.m.-- a fire of unproven origin that destroyed the magnificent fire-proof (?) Main Building and resulted in the removal, that summer, from Waco to Fort Worth." (p.136)

This, aside from the completely baffling date screw up (it was 1910, not 1919), this pretty much sums up the Waco Campus Fire. Too bad we didn't have CSI Waco back then, they might have figured it out, but nobody knows and most likely nobody will ever know the cause. Might have been faulty wiring or a spark from the smokestacks... might've been aliens. Who the hell knows. Baylor, in an official capacity, sent their band over the next day to try and provide some happy distraction. They also offered up their campus facilities to TCU students. This doesn't rule out some jackass Baylor students who were repressed even by early 1900's standards and felt the need to take out some frustration on the cross town rival (we did beat them 2 out of 3 times the previous football season).

But hey, it was probably a blessing in disguise. Would you have wanted to go to school in Waco? Even if it was TCU? In the ensuing decision on where the campus would move, Dallas actually made a strong plea to get the campus there. Jeebus... we almost ended up sharing that asstown with SMU! So thanks asshole Baylor students... thanks for burning down our school and getting us the hell out of your crappy little burg.

There is at least one good thing that came out of Waco: Dr. Pepper. 1885... older than Coke and Pepsi.

And finally, one more thing I'd like to mention. LaDainian Tomlinson. It's well documented that LT was not heavily recruited by big names. Most thought he was "too small". According to his mom ("LT & Me"), the final three were Baylor, North Texas, and TCU. Wow! I mean, that shouldn't be a tough choice, right? Baylor was in the big boy conference called the "Big 12." TCU was in some nobody conference, and UNT... wait... people knew they played football? Who wouldn't want to play in the illustrious "Big 12"... obviously it was an important conference, full of real football schools... who would be insane enough not to pick such a prestigious football school like Baylor?

Well, apparently when LT narrowed his choices down to 2 schools, he was considering TCU and... NORTH TEXAS! Wow... Baylor had shitty coaching and no eye for talent... well that or Baylor felt like LT was beneath them to go hard at him. Although, there's also the school of thought that LT just didn't want to be in f$%#ing Waco anymore, seeing as how he went to High School in the rathole. Baylor did actually offer him a scholarship for Basketball, but he wisely chose football and stayed away from the Bear Assassins Guild.

So yeah, Baylor was dismissed by LT in favor of TCU or North Fracking Texas. The Future NFL Hall of Famer just found UNT more appealing than the great school of Baylor.

(LT ended up choosing TCU largely because they didn't play on artificial turf, like UNT. )

So there's a bunch of random crap to hopefully help take a few minutes off the anxious, nerve wracking wait until the game tomorrow night. Cripes I can't wait for this to be over.


I know it's outdated, but I post the vid before the season opener every year. If anyone has new material that could be of good use to spitblood , feel free to contact us. All contributions greatly appreciated.


Game 1 Preview: You Know Who it is.

Baylor Fan Masturbation Material

Well, it's finally here, Gameday 2011. Your defending Rose Bowl Champion TCU Horned Frogs against the defending Texas Bowl runners-up- to- a- team- whose- coach- will- no- longer- be- employed- above- a- middle- school- level- this- time- next- year Baylor Bears. It's a moment we've all more or less been waiting for ever since we emerged from that one hour wait through the exit tunnels in Pasadena. The highly regarded recruiting class and off-season turmoil/mind-fuckery have only amplified the anticipation.

And my god I could not be more ready for it to be over.

I genuinely mean this when I say it - I have never been more excited for a TCU game to be finished than I am to actually attend it than I am for this one. All you linguists out there, take a moment to pick your brain up off of the floor after deciphering that sentence structure. Basically, win or lose, I will be far more mentally stable when this one is over than I will be entering that stadium on Friday evening. I just absolutely HATE it. I hate it because picking against us is the en vogue thing to do according to the pundits. I hate it because I genuinely have no idea if we have an offensive line, a quarterback or a fully functioning secondary. But mostly I hate it because it's effing BAYLOR. UGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, KILL ME!!!!

And it's not even that I'm afraid of Baylor; far from it, actually. I'm just scared of the unknown. It's totally pussy, I know, and it's mostly a product of being spoiled these past couple of years. Do you realize the last game we lost in the regular season was the Utah disaster? How freaking long ago does THAT seem??? But I'm pretty sure quite a few of you are with me on this one. I knew I'd be in bad fan mood all this week, but I didn't expect it to be like this.
But there's a preview to be written so preview I will. And in a nod to SnK's hate preview, I'll do one better and give you the ELEVEN reasons why TCU will beat Baylor Friday night. At least this should help talk me off the ledge. As a disclaimer, some of these are facts and some are opinions, but I defy you to discern the differences.

1) Because Robert Griffin has an indention that appears similar to the cut a hatchet makes on a tree branch in place of where his man parts should be.

Had to start this off right, no? Now, I'm not saying Robert Griffin is, in fact, a lady... I'm just saying that when Robert Griffin uses his #1 spot, he has to sit down to perform the act because his urethra does not have the preferred external vessel affording him proper aim and flow control to perform the exact same act whilst standing up. Remember how he missed almost an entire season with an, "injury?" Well, I have it on good authority there is a small, Jar Jar Binks looking youth currently enrolled in a Day Care Center in Waco that was apparently gestated in the womb of a certain Baylor signal caller. Football season to summer is about nine months, right? Thought so. And remember when he was the most extreme sore loser of all time last September? Well, let's just say it was his "time."
Now that you've had time to let that new knowledge digest, let's look at Robert Griffin, the Quarterback, ignoring the TCU game because, well, we know how that ended up. Griffin apologists will point towards the six games immediately following the feeding in Fort Worth because, taking off my Griffin hating blinders, he blew it up. The Bears went 5-1 in those games . Griffin's stats were as such: 141/195 for 1889 yards passing, 15 TDs against only 4 INTs. He also rushed for 294 yards and 4 TDs in those games. Griffin said in an interview this week that he thanked TCU for giving him and the team a wake up call, but the bottom line is that Griffin realized he couldn't do it all with his legs and developed a better affinity for the passing game. We broke of him any intentions to the contrary.

The only problem with these numbers? They came again Rice, Kansas, Kansas State, Tech, Colorado and UT, with the loss coming against Tech at the Cotton Bowl. That's two bowl teams. That's only one team - Texas - that gave up fewer than 400 yards on defense per game. I'm not trying to discredit Griffin's numbers... haha, got you there, didn't I? Of COURSE I'm discrediting his numbers, silly! Let's look at his numbers in his last 4 games against Oklahoma State, aggy, OU and Illinois, all losses: 108/160 for 909 yards and 2 TDs against 3 INTs. He also rushed 57 times for 234 yards and 1 score.

So let's break it down: In his hot streak he was averaging around 315 yards a game passing and 2.5 TDs, versus his cold streak where the numbers dropped to 227 and 0.5 respectively. He was also rushing 11 times per game during the hot streak vs. 14 in the cold. The latter isn't a huge discrepancy, but the former most certainly is. It's clear that when the going got tough, he reverted back to his ground game, which, statistically at least, is weaker than his passing. And now he's going against a front seven that loves putting pressure on a QB, loves keeping QB's in the pocket and punishes them when they leave it, and he's missing a very good receiver in Josh Gordon (more on him later) as a downfield threat that kept defenses on their toes. Good luck.

And if that doesn't make you feel better about our chances of controlling the score Friday, then hopefully one of these next 10 points will.

2) Because losing Josh Gordon hurts Baylor in the receiving game more than losing Kerley hurts us.

A bold statement to be sure considering all Kerley did for us last year, but few will remember that he wasn't even our leading receiver. That was Josh Boyce, who if he isn't already, will be one of your top 3 favorite Frogs by the time this season is over. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not discrediting Kerley's overall impact to the Frogs; I'm just talking about him solely in the context of the receiving game. Baylor's leading receiver, Kendall Wright, is very, very good. But Josh Gordon was the field stretcher, averaging over 17 yards per reception last year. You'll recall it was Gordon who burned Greg McCoy last year for Baylor's only score of the game. Let's just say Terrence Williams and Tevin Reese, who combined barely equal one Gordon, have some big shoes to fill. You have to feel better if you're for the good guys who have proven guys like Antoine Hicks and Skye Dawson, not to mention the fab freshmen, filling the void. Of course this assumes that our offensive line can keep Casey Pachall upright, which leads directly to my next point...

3) Because of the myth of Phil Bennett.

Baylor fans will surely point out that new DC Bennett was the head man the only time SMU has beaten us in the aughts, but I'll let the 1-5 overall discrepancy against TCU speak more to the law of averages here. In four of his six seasons on the "Hilltop," he won 3 games or less. That's not very good. To be fair, Bennett did well during his tenure at Pittsburgh as DC and fielded the nation's 11th best defensive unit last year yardage-wise. But if there's one thing that former Pitt Head Man Dave Wannstedt won't be discredited for it's his ability to recruit talented athletes, and I think it's fair to suggest that what Bennett has at Baylor doesn't look much like what he left behind in Steel Town. Besides, if you really want to compare apples to apples here, you have to look at his first season in Pitt, which ranked 31st. This sounds good... until you consider they were 7th overall the year BEFORE he got there. That's a drop of 24 spots. That's not very good. Baylor's defense gave up nearly 30 points and 427 yards per game last year - good for a salty 104th in the nation. They also lost 6 starters, which, when you look at the numbers, actually may work in their favor unless you're a lemon/lemonade type. But still, youth + new DC + new system = trouble. And about that new system. You guys do realize that Bennett is installing a 4-2-5... the same defense that Gary Patterson basically perfected. The same defense that Fuenderson has schemed against the past 3 years, and in much preferred vintages. So, uh, yeah. Advantage, Frogs.

4) Because a Baylor win would be good for Waco, and has anything good ever happened in Waco?

Elaborate in the comments, cause I got nothin'.

5) Because Janet Reno destroyed the wrong weirdo cult in Waco in 93 and someone needs to finish the job.

Now before any Baylor trolls we may have on our fair site try and suggest I'm saying we should go on a murder spree in Waco, let me clarify: We should only go on a murder spree ON the field. Or at least a physically maiming spree. This is otherwise known as a "typical defensive effort of a Patterson coached team." Just ask Max Hall. Or Scott Tolzien. But, it's pretty undeniable that the Cult of the Baylor Fan is VERY curious. David Koresh, the leader of the Branch Davidians at the time of their demise, convinced all of his followers to dissolve their marriages because only he could have sex with their women. This sounds strange, but is it any stranger than listening to a Baylor fan try and convince you that losing seasons in the Big 12 are superior to undefeated regular seasons and BCS berths elsewhere? Is suggesting that TCU fans are "too hung up on their Rose Bowl win?" any stranger than the Branch Davidian's belief system, from an article published in the Waco Newspaper:

"If you are a Branch Davidian, Christ lives on a threadbare piece of land 10 miles east of here called Mount Carmel. He has dimples, claims a ninth-grade education, married his legal wife when she was 14, enjoys a beer now and then, plays a mean guitar, reportedly packs a 9mm Glock and keeps an arsenal of military assault rifles
, and willingly admits that he is a sinner without equal."

You be the judge.

6) Because of the beautiful people in Baylor Line jerseys.

I'll be honest, I do not know much about the "Baylor Line" but I am assuming it is just some lame rip off of the aggy 12th Man tradition. The little amount of research I've done into the matter suggests as much - it's kind of to Baylor what the Hyperfrogs are to us. Let's just say they may have been shoved into a lot of lockers in high school. But is Hyperfrogs the correct comparison here? After all, the Hyperfrogs rely mostly on body paint and Red Bull related energy; the Baylor Line relies on cheap jerseys and, I'm not sure what kind of energy because I think processed caffeine is looked upon in the same light as dancing in those parts. So no, they're not like the Hyperfrogs.

But you know who they are like? The Bleacher Creatures. Keep in mind, the Bleacher Creatures are 10 years old and not college students. And they at least get a free hot dog and soda out of the deal. The Baylor Line just get ridicule and a threadbare jersey. Intimidation, Baylor has it!

7) Because Baylor has no proven ground game and we, you know, SORT OF do, if you believe in stats and history and all that nonsense.

Unless you count Robert Griffin, which, after last year, I don't think you can, especially when our defense is supposed to be even faster than it was then. To refresh your memory, last year RB Jay Finley rushed 9 times for 56 yards and Griffin rushed 14 times for 21. This makes me wonder about Art Briles' offensive genius considering he didn't take the ball out of Griffin's hands and put it in Finley's more often. As for the Frogs, we had 291 rushing yards -much higher than our season average, which doesn't speak volumes of what Baylor does on defense - and return every contributor from that effort. You also should take into account that we had put on the brakes almost before halftime, so those numbers could've been a lot more skewed in our favor. Now Finley is gone and the best thing Baylor has to offer is Terrance Ganaway and his empty predictions. Our offensive line may have some glaringly brutal question marks, but Baylor three returning defensive linemen were responsible for giving up 160 yards on the ground per game last year. Friday may be seen as a trial by fire to outsiders, but I think it's safe to say what they'll see wearing green and gold has nothing on what they've seen every day in practice.

8) Because Gary Patterson is fat and Art Briles is not.

Turning the tables a little! In most cultures, largesse suggests prosperity while wearing a saggy skin suit over your bones is typically seen as the opposite. It's why you don't see fat homeless people. Think about it. Baylor fans like to use clever word play and refer to GP as "Gary Fatterson," which is so brilliant in its simplicity that I can't believe no one has thought of it before. font de sarcasm. They also like to compare GP to Mark Mangino to which I say, if you want to compare our coach to a guy who took KANSAS!!!! to the Orange Bowl and won, then there are much worse comparisons you can make.

Alright so at #8 I'm grasping at straws a little bit, but I just think we should all be aware that Baylor fans genuinely think they have an edge because their coach weighs less than ours. This is what we're dealing with tomorrow.

9) Because Baylor is so insecure they have to lie about the overall record to make themselves feel better.

The official record stands at 50-49-7 in favor of TCU. Unless you ask someone in Waco, then it apparently flips the other way. Really, Bears? You have to lie to feel relevant? Is it because of the whole 89-17 point edge we hold over you guys since the SWC disbanded? Or maybe it's just that you're not very good at math. Whatever the reasoning, clearly the Bears have a massive inferiority complex towards the team that they wrongfully took the place of in the Big 12 when the SWC disbanded. And you know what? Based on the program trajectories since then, I'll take it every time. But seriously, just wait for Friday, You're going to hear a LOT of basketball smack talk. Because that's completely relevant to the game on the field Friday night. And because their basketball team didn't cover up a murder investigation and hire one of the sleaziest coaches this side of Calipari to gain relevance. You might even hear women's basketball smack talk, it's seriously that bad down there. Just be prepared. Don't say I didn't warn you.

10) Because we got the F out of Waco at the first opportunity.

A little history lesson for those of you who didn't pay attention during orientation/isn't looking at Wikipedia at this very second like I am: TCU original started as AddRan College and, after a brief stint in Fort Worth, actually uprooted to Waco for 15 years in the late 1800s. We actually started playing football, adopted the name TCU, purple and white color scheme and even the Horned Frog mascot. And then we got the FUUUUUUUUUUUCK outta there. The official story is a fire destroyed the college - I'm not pointing any fingers, but Baylor WAS in Waco at the time as well - and rather than rebuild the school chose to relocate back to its original Fort Worth location. And thank the sweet Lord in heaven for that! The truth of the matter is pretty apparent: Addison and Randolph Clark saw the writing on the wall of what a shithole Waco was to become. Perhaps they even started the fire themselves to have a legitimate excuse? It wouldn't be the first time someone has used arson to their advantage, right insurance companies? I suggest you take similarly drastic measures to rapidly increase the distance between you and the Waco city limits when this one is over. I hope and pray that stretch of I-35 falls into one of the new 85 MPH speed zones enacted just today. Perhaps there are more Frog fans in the legislature than we think? WHERE WERE YOU BACK THEN, HUH!?!

11) Because, Fuck Baylor, that's why.

Prediction: TCU 27, Baylor 13.

It's going to take a quarter for our team to settle in, but once they do, I'm dialing back my worries considerably. I just don't think Baylor has the defense to stop us, and we definitely have one to stop them. I haven't quite decided if that 27 represents 3 TDs and 2 FGs or 4 TDs and a failed PAT, because both are very possible. To be safe, I think Waymon scores a TD on the ground and leads all rushers, that Boyce has 100 yards and a TD and Casey rushes for a TD. The number of tin foil luche libre masks in the Baylor students section, assuming the school laws allow for heckling, will decrease substantially by halftime. See you boys in Waco. Go Frogs.

Predictions thread will be up and running tomorrow morning, so use this as your irrational sounding board for why Terrance Ganaway suggesting that "the game is already won" is just plain foolish.

Players to Watch Week 1: The Baylor Bears

Just like last season, every Thursday before a game, or sometime around then, I'll be posting one player to watch on offense and one player to watch on defense. For those unfamiliar, these wont always be the biggest name on the field and the well known superstar, because what good would it do for me to tell you to watch Kellen Moore when we play Boise State? Every Tri-Delt in a neon rush tank top knows who he is, so I'm not doing anyone any favors. Sometimes it will be a sleeper, sometimes it will be a guy who I think we need to devote our attention to heckling and humiliating (Robert Griffin definitely obliged last year), and sometimes it will be a guy who throws up some bulletin board fodder by running his mouth (more on that later).

As I mentioned Tuesday in my Baylor hate tirade, I refuse to profile their unaccomplished track star faux Heisman candidate QB who looks like the love child of ET and Jar Jar Binks. Yes, he's there best player, but he can't do it alone and he's going to need some help, which is something he's never gotten in his mediocre tenure at Baylor. Normally it'd be someone like WR Josh Gordon, but as you may have heard, he would rather get high and pass out in a Taco Bell parking lot than play for Baylor. Now he's off to the land of Mormon's, and who can blame him? Utah in the fall sounds much more appealing then being stuck in the asshole of Texas (Waco, obviously) without football. So it looked like I was going to have to dig a little bit and hope that a couple of players stood out, and I didn't want to use the same guys as last year. Then this happened, and my player to watch on offense got a lot easier...

Offense: Terrance Ganaway (Sr. RB, 6', 240, #24)

We will make a statement to the nation this Friday night,” Baylor running back Terrance Ganaway said, acknowledging TCU’s résumé.“Where we’ve got to be this Friday is worry about what we do, execute our plays. The game’s already won. All we have to do is go out there and do what we need to do to get that victory.”

Uhh, what? This ranks up there in stupidity with the "Baylor can score on one play" comment from the hate post a couple days ago. The game is already won? Man, Mr. Gannaway, that's a lot of talk coming from a guy who had 295 yards rushing last season to go along with a whopping 2 TD's. It's kinda cute, actually. You get named the starting RB, clearly think you're in a position to run your mouth and start claiming victory with some ridiculous "statement to the nation" cliche. Let's face it, being the starting running back at Baylor is about like being the straightest guy at a bath house. You're still at Baylor, and you're second fiddle to Jar Jar. Actually, second fiddle would be the receivers. Your only purpose is going to be pass blocking to prevent the QB from getting smothered by the TCU front and maybe slipping out for the occasional screen, although you'd think they'd find a guy more fleet of foot to throw the screen to. Your 240 pound frame doesn't exactly scream big play to me or anyone else. You think you'll actually touch the ball that often when Jar Jar is forced to throw and try to stage a comeback? Please. I hope the teammates who plan on making a difference are happy with you for putting the pressure squarely on their shoulders Friday night. As if erasing the memory of 45-10 wasn't enough pressure, you've just really upped the ante. I'm sure QB is roaming the streets of Waco as we speak in search of some Xanax to calm his nerves, but I'm sure all he can find is crack, meth, and murdered basketball players. Normally this segment is reserved for discussing a player's stats and potential impact on the game, but you've yet to establish yourself as someone who can make a difference, so why bother? Leave the talking to the grown ups, Terrance, and go back to the kids table.

Defense: Tevin Elliott (Soph. DE, 6'3, 250, #18)

When a defense sucks as bad as Baylor's, it's hard to pick a player to watch. We witnessed first hand how abysmal their defense was last season, and they lost 6 starters including DT Phil Taylor, who was a first round draft pick. So who knows, maybe high turnover and new defensive coordinator, Phil Bennett, who is installing a 4-2-5 will be a good thing for them, but I don't think it translates to immediate results nor should anyone else. However, the match up that immediately stands out to me is the Baylor pass rush vs. the inexperience of TCU's OL, so that's where Tevin Elliott comes in. Elliott, the sophomore from Mt. Pleasant, led the Bears in sacks (5) and tackles for loss (9) despite only starting in 6 games. He was also named to several Freshman All-American teams and was honorable mention All Big-12. Currently, the Baylor depth chart lists him as the backup, but I'm sure not even Baylor is dumb enough to bench their best player at getting in the opposing backfield. Hopefully the running game keeps TCU out of obvious passing downs and we are able to keep the Bears off balance, because we have two tackles who aren't exactly battle tested, especially Deck. Keeping Elliott and the rest of the mediocre Baylor front 7 away from Pachall will most definitely be a key to winning this game for TCU.

Hopefully between now and game time another unproven Baylor dumbshit chooses to run his mouth as well, because it appears that the Horned Frogs' players have taken notice, according to my twitter feed. I hope to see a very, very large number of y'all in Waco Friday night, and when we are running away with it, don't forget to tell Ganaway that the game was indeed over before it started just like he predicted. Good luck and go Frogs!

Morning Dump

Frogs' tight end quickly turns into starting tackle Star-Telegram

Fan rivalry between Baylor and TCU grows ever more bitter Star-Telegram

Patterson meets with the media

Athletic Department: