Thursday, November 17, 2011

Oh No!!! We went winless in... Oh, wait... nevermind

You know what would be fun to watch? Casey Pachall  slinging football missiles at broom riding nerds.

Yeah, I know, this is stupid as hell and has already been covered in a general sense, but felt the need to mock this "news" anyway.

Somebody paid money to send the TCU Quidditch Club to New York City, where presumably the City That Never Sleeps has gone insane from lack of REM sleep and felt the need to be entertained by weirdos with a ridiculous agenda that aren't trying to occupy anything other than a boom handle. There, the Magical Horned Frogs competed in the 2011 Quidditch World Cup.

And they took sucktitude to a whole new level. They went winless. They lost to a wide variety of schools... the "I can't believe the S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C! allows this sport at one of their schools" LSU Tigers, the "One of these players might be president one day" Harvard Crimson, the "We're from Canada, eh!" Carleton Ravens, and something called Jetpack Ninja Dinosaurs from Colorado (I shit you not).

This thing is much bigger than I thought. There is an honest to goodness "International Quidditch Association" (IQA) with such already mockworthy members such as Ohio State, Penn State, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Florida, Virginia Tech, USC, and Utah just to name a few. Of course, some school called Middlebury in Vermont has won every World Cup since the thing started in 2007. They must be damned proud to be the undisputed heavyweight Quidditch champions of the world (although there is no mention of it on their Wikipedia site).

I wonder if at sometime in the future, we'll have a league of glitter covered vampires fight shirtless werewolves.

At any rate, it makes our soccer team look positively awesome.

If anybody would like to infiltrate the Quidditch team for sheer amusement, they have a boring as poop website.

13 comments:

Auxilio said...

Eh, that's not really their website. All student organizations on campus are required to register with this OrgSync site now, and they post their bylaws and keep track of membership that way. The "sites" within OrgSync aren't really meant to be showcases of the organization.

Yeah, the idea of playing Quidditch is pretty ridiculous. I certainly am not going to pretend I'm riding a broom. But let me know if they ever actually figure out how to fly.

VikingFrog said...

DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB....ledore.

Boyce of Summer said...

What's a bylaw?

shortnkerley's said...

This is a crushing loss for the Quidditch team. Word has it now that bc of their poor showing, the Athletic Department will not be buying them new brooms and capes with their names on the back. Tough loss...

cmlakey said...

I seriously hope they tried to get an official university excused absence for this, I know that would have made someone's day.

Rabble Rouser said...

So who's going to be the first to scoop up the domain name www.FireLindseyCarnes.com?

Auxilio said...

@Boyce of Summer
Bylaws are internal rules of an organization. So for student stuff, it's like how the officers can be elected and such.

J. Thaddeus Toad said...

I'm impressed. I couldn't even get intramural baseketball off the ground.

Rotten Arsenal said...

Damn! I'd love to play some Baseketball!

Taylor said...

I heard the Penn State Quidditch team can really ride a broom.

Rabble Rouser said...

@Auxillio Why does your avatar thingy look like a pregnancy test?

Auxilio said...

@Rabble Rouser
Ha, I never noticed that. I think it's the default icon when you use an OpenID to do comments.

LOLfolding said...

Taylor wins.