Thursday, October 27, 2011

Return of the Mailsack

Joseph Smith- he's either reading imaginary tablets out of a hat or puking his guts out watching BYU's football team.

Sir Wesley and I were discussing earlier this week how over the past few years of dealing with BYU, including a raucous trip to Provo 2 years ago that was documented in detail last year during BYU hate week, we feel like we've pretty much exhausted every hate avenue available for our silly little sober Mormon friends nestled comfortably in the mountains in Utah. I know it sounds lame and a bit like a cop-out for no hate posts, but man, how many times can we regurgitate how Joseph Smith is probably a closet demon Satan spawn and how long will it be funny to make mention of their cute belief in underwear or the fact that you need a "beard exception" to have facial hair at Diet Caffeine Free Coca Cola University? Seriously, we thought last year was the LAST time we would be able to relentlessly belittle and demean these step-above scientologists, so we went all out. I'm sorry, but I'm at a loss this year. If you want the hate really bad, just search "BYU" and "hate" or "sober" and you'll find plenty of old material on this here blog, but sorry newer readers, I'm not rehashing it any further. Been there, done that. To death. I will, however, supply you with the newest addition of one of my new favorite segments, the mailsack, and I'll give you a brief rundown of players to watch later, although I can't promise to steer clear of some Mormon bashing in that segment, so you've been warned.

We actually had a couple pretty insightful mailsack questions this go 'round, so I'll get to them.

"HornyFrog" asks...

Still no link to the mailsack?

1st, how on earth did you know your reader here is wild and from El Paso?

2nd, you know more about football than me, so correct me if I am wrong. The 4-2-5 is a very difficult scheme to run, and GMFP has been able to pull it off where most coaches fail. It relies on smart decisions from the secondary to be able to stop the run and the pass - which is why trick plays really screw us. Do you think that is why we can go from being #1 defense to bottom half - because it is harder to learn? The last time our defense sucked, it sucked real hard too. I know defenses are usually less consistent than offenses, but swinging from 1 to 100 is quite drastic, isnt it? Also, in a down year like this one, what do you think our record would be in the Big 12?

HornyFrog- If you don't see a link to the mailsack, it's probably not there. It'll get up one day, but until then, it's good to know that you can still find the sack. For anyone else who's still curious, it's

As for your El Paso question, I am not sure what you're referencing as far as how we knew you are wild and from El Paso, but if someone knew you were from El Paso then it's safe to assume you're fucking insane and probably own several firearms, a crowbar, a bowie knife, and some sort of prison murder weapon fashioned out of a spork and duct tape. In all seriousness though, it's probably just safe to assume that we know everything about you and every other reader that gets on this site. Spitblood is your government watchdog. Be good.

As for your real question, it's a pretty damn good one and you make a great point. I hadn't really thought too hard about that because thinking about our defense is enough to make me want to vomit (even after the shutout), but I agree with you on those points. A young, inexperienced secondary+an NFL complicated scheme=a recipe for disaster, as we've seen so far this season. I'm sure it's something we will grow in to as time goes on and we've seen improvements already this year, but I don't expect to see it improve greatly this year. Notice how walk on Junior Devin Johnson has emerged as a starting strong safety over younger, pretty highly touted recruits such as Jonathan Anderson, Trent Thomas and Sam Carter. It's not because he's more talented, but more likely because he knows the system better.

Our record in the Big 12 this year? Losses to OU, Ok. State, mayyybe K. State (not sold there yet), Aggy, and obviously Baylor. I'll say 7-5 because I think we could get one of those previously listed teams at home and win.

ctbeecherl asks...

We are obviously just right outside of the top 25. If we win against both BYU and Wyoming (soundly, lets say by at least 14) what do you think we could be ranked with the showdown in Boise? My thinking is it will hopefully be a #5 vs #20 and we might get a chance of Gameday crew showing up in Idaho that morning or are there other big games that weekend that will precede our match up?

I'd say a top 5 vs. top 20 matchup isn't far-fetched at all, but I think both BYU and obviously Wyoming suck terribly so I don't know how much respect that will get us. We'd need some guys ahead of us to drop, which of course will happen. Gameday is out of the question unfortunately- Oregon takes all of their stolen TCU recruits down to Palo Alto that Saturday to play Stanford, K-State hosts the Aggies in the Little Apple, Tech is hosting Okie Lite, and there are several other top 25 matchups, so fuggettaboutit.

anonymous writes...

Hey spitblood. never commented but I (very creepy like) have been always checking in. So I had to email the last comment I left on Frogfaceblog known by someone. Don't hate on me too bad since I want more BYU hate.

To Frogfaceblog:
Officially removing you as a favorite. Why do you operate a site when you don't post anything in almost a month. Today is Oct 25 and your last post was on the smew loss Oct 2. I realize you probably have a job as a TCU alumni but really, thanks for the great context. By the way please tell the bloggers at spitblood they won even before "that site" opened. Hate on me! Hate like its smew or baylor; maybe even byu but we all know that is not much now. Thanks for wasting my time. That "6th site" posts at least 4 things a day. Thank you spitblood... well how do I end? - (and I end saying I edited as I sometime submit without proofread. my bad!)

Out of my control, I know, but would you leave the email address out if you use it? I need to get a good frog name on your site. Love what yall are doing.
Sorry about the lack of BYU hate. See above. It is a little uncomforting that you read spitblood "very creepy like". Now I picture some guy in his parents's dark basement flipping between spitblood, various porn sites, and googling pipe bombs all while staring at a bulletin board full of up close photos of Jody Foster. Please help me shake this image of you.

As for the hatred towards Frogfaceblog- I appreciate it. I think we all do. I don't know if it matters though, because I am coming out with the official spitblood blog rankings right now...

1) purplemenace (and people think we're cocky...)
2) spitblood
3) hornedfrog sports
4) spitblood
5) spitblood
6) various others

For the record, that site doesn't make the "various others" group at #6. I really didn't even know they existed anymore. As for leaving your name and email address out of this- of course I will. You've established yourself as way too creepy to expose to the world. I now dub you the spitblood alias "CreeperFrog". Please use it.

The SEC writes...

Dear Mizzou,

We would like to welcome your 0 titles and 0 BCS appearances to the SEC. We took the time to set you up on a blind date with Vandy and Kentucky. We think you should all get along swell.


The Sec

Not quite sure what the appeal of Mizzou is either. However, I don't think I'll really miss them in the Big 12. West Virginia and Missouri- 6 in one hand, half dozen in the other athletically as far as I'm concerned. You're wrong about one thing though. They're going to fuck up Vandy and Kentucky like everyone else, and add Ole Miss and soon the Aggies to that list.

Ok, so that's it for this rendition of the mailsack. Please continue to send in your emails full of whatever you can think of to Thanks again.

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