Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Week 3 Opponent Hate: The Texas Tech Red Raiders


Adam James- the lesser of two evils??

I'm sure the title confuses most of you, as it should, but really if you think about it this makes perfect sense. The reason we have to play ULM this season is because Texas Tech admittedly ducked us, and I'm still not that happy about it so I've chosen to hate them this weekend instead of lowly Louisiana Monroe. Really the only thing you can hate ULM for is having changed their mascot from Indians to Warhawks in 2002 because Indians is somehow racist. Instead of changing their mascot from Indians to Warhawks, why didn't they just keep it as the Indians and make their physical mascot Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal? Changes the meaning of Indians, and also probably makes your school more popular. 2 birds, 1 stone. But like I said, I'm going to keep this hate strictly Tech related going forward.

I've said it before but I'll say it again here, I kinda get why Tech dropped us. They could add a home game, so they did. Not really that bad of a move, but they way they went about doing so is what rubbed me and the rest of our fans the wrong way. They really dropped a last minute bomb on us, forcing our hand in adding a mediocre at best opponent. However, the most alarming thing about what Tech did is that they added Texas State in Lubbock to take our place. Does everyone realize the magnitude of what that means? Texas State. In Lubbock. For a whole weekend. This is how Texas State sees themselves. The rest of the country sees them about like this. I mean seriously, can you imagine the mega-strain of STD that was probably concocted up there with the integration of these two fan bases? It would probably be safer to share a needle with Anthony Kiedis, get a blood transfusion from Magic Johhson, then run down the fictional Jenny Gump and have unprotected sex with her. I wouldn't be surprised if people got airborne STD's in that town 2 weekends ago. If I had to go to Lubbock anytime soon, I'd wear a full haz-mat suit Walter White style just to be safe.

I do respect coach Tuberville for coming out and admitting to not wanting to play us. That takes some stones and I'm sure there were some people who weren't pleased with it, but I applaud him. No Mack Brown politician answer from him there. I even kind of like coach T. He's a great coach and seems like a good enough guy. However, we all have Texas Tech to be pissed at for ESPN throwing that ass hat Craig James in our face every Thursday night and whenever else they can squeeze him on there. If the powers that be at Tech hadn't been greedy and stuck with the best thing they had going up there, Mike Leach, we wouldn't have had to hear Helicopter Dad James whine and bitch about how his uberdouche son was mistreated by Leach and that's why Leach was fired. Ever since that incident, doesn't it seem like we've had Craig James in our face even more than ever? It's like ESPN has decided to not only stand by him, but make him their poster boy, which makes no sense to anyone since he's clearly hated by everyone outside of the ESPN and SMU realm. I mean seriously, EVERYONE hates him. For some reason, ESPN loves this notorious liar and cheater so much that they went ahead and forced their best college football writer out the door in order to stand by James. Also, it should be mentioned that there is no proof that CRAIG JAMES KILLED 5 HOOKERS WHILE AT SMU.

Ok, ok, so maybe it's not entirely fair to blame Tech for ESPN throwing Craig James in my face all the time, but any time I get a chance to go on an anti-Craig James tirade, I'll take that opportunity. So yes, Tech administration, you're idiots for running Leach out of town and subjecting me to James family douchebaggery on a weekly basis. Thanks a lot. The final thing that really pushed me over the edge with Tech was the encounter WWHD and I had following the Baylor loss in big gay uptown Dallas the other weekend. We decided to take to eating to cure our post game depression, and outside of some late night food establishment, a swarm of Tech fans saw the TCU gear and pounced, telling us how much we sucked, how we had lost to Baylor, how TCU is always overrated, etc, etc, etc. The point where I completely stopped listening was when one of them said they would have run the table with our schedule last year, including beating Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl. Yes, the team that lost to Iowa State, Texas, and snuck by Northwestern with an injured QB in the Ticketcity Bowl in Dallas would've beat Wisconsin. Child Please. That was the straw that broke the camel's back, and even his friend thought it was a ridiculous statement. WWHD ended things as we were walking away with a nice parting shot of "good luck getting your unaccredited university into the Pac-12." I liked that one.

Anyways, I'm sorry for getting off topic this week and not sticking to my guns and hating on our true opponent, but it was pretty impossible so I hope this sufficed. Since I've already knocked Baylor and Tech out of the way and SMU is just a couple weeks away, I may actually have to dig pretty deep to get some dirty on Portland State next week. I will stay on topic Thursday with players to watch, so if you're really in the mood for some ULM info I'll at least have something coming your way this week. Until then, channel your hatred towards Texas Tech, their weekend STD binge while Texas State was in town, their irrational thought process as fans, and of course, Craig James and the fact that there is no proof that CRAIG JAMES KILLED 5 HOOKERS WHILE AT SMU.

On a completely unrelated note, UT will no longer be allowed to broadcast games in HD this season on account of Case McCoy's face.

28 comments:

VikingFrog said...

I think you need to do some fact checking.

Jenny Curran and Forrest never married.

I don't think I can take anything you write seriously anymore.

Rotten Arsenal said...

Dammit! Don't do stuff like that. I'm an OCD librarian that can't stand it when the internets sez wrong stuff.

Jenny & Forrest did get married.
Sportswriter Jeff Pearlman needed Blog Content

VikingFrog said...

I guess my Forrest Gump memory is not as good as I thought it was.

Touche.

Now I can go back to assuming that everything SNK says is true.

shortnkerley's said...

Yeah, didn't Lt. Dan show up at his wedding with titanium legs?

Oh and vikingfrog, Craig James killed 5 hookers while at SMU. You can take that seriously.

NurseFrog31 said...

Didn't think it was possible for someone to be uglier than Colt McCoy, but Jr. takes the cake. Wow.

Lyle Lanley said...

Kudos to whoever called him "Eli McCoy"

Travis said...

"Eli" or "Wilbur" McCoy has a great face and bright future in radio someday!

Rotten Arsenal said...

My ego will not allow it to be unknown... Eli McCoy was mine

EdK said...

I would like to email someone at spitblood. Where should I send it?

Rotten Arsenal said...

thefinch[at]spitbloodtcu.com

Rotten Arsenal said...

And in more Tech hating news, the tournament the soccer team won in Lubbock this weekend was supposed to have a trophy... but the Tech coach had already engraved his team on it.

shortnkerley's said...

I hope I didn't strike a nerve with EdK. Actually, I think I'll be okay either way.

Rotten Arsenal said...

It's probably just Ken Starr wanting to sue you.

EdK said...

Not at all shortnkerly. Three things: They did get married; Craig James was actually a nice kid when I met him after a TCU-SMU football game in 1981, when we were both seniors; and three, thefinch@spitbloodtcu.com didn't work.

LA Frog said...

Temper that hate with some laughs,"Boise State gets NCAA probation, scholarship cuts for violations"


Read more: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/football/ncaa/09/13/boise-state-sanctions.ap/index.html#ixzz1XsCzgAhU

Rabble Rouser said...

Fredo McCoy

Rabble Rouser said...

Also I am pretty sure Case McCoy suffered from a rare skin disease as a child and that is the cause of his current appearance so lay off the kid, he can't help it.

shortnkerley's said...

Alright. I apologize for the Face McCoy part of the post, but nothing else, and everything else mentioned in the above post is true, such as Craig James killing 5 hookers while at SMU.

NurseFrog31 said...

Soooo... what was Colt's excuse?

I'll lay off the face remarks, but I will still be calling him Eli. I like it too much.

Zachary said...

I dont think Colt is fretting over his looks. His wife is Hot.

Hot 'n Spicy HornedFrog said...

I believe Lt. Dan showed up at the wedding sporting "magic legs".

PurpleHaze said...

But Lt Dan! You aint got no legs!!!

I know that forrest.

CounselorFrog said...

He look up at me, he says 'Payne. i cant feel muh legs!' I said 'Bubba. they ain't there!' I look down, an them lil bloody nubs was kickin' real fast, an i says 'Bubba it's 30 miles 'til the nearest town. Unless you can flip upside down an walk on yo hands you aint gonna make it!'

Probably not relevant. But any time I hear a Lt. Dan reference, I think of Major Payne. Probably the greatest move ever made...next to Highlander.

Shelley said...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Texas%20State%20University

I like definition 2 : "Most people chose that school (i did) even after being excepted into UT."

So what exactly does it mean to be "excepted" into a university?

Shelley said...

...And I wouldn't talk too much about McCoy's face when Paschall doesn't have the prettiest face either. Just sayin'.

Shelley said...

...And I wouldn't talk too much about McCoy's face when Paschall doesn't have the prettiest face either. Just sayin'.

Lyle Lanley said...

Congratulations, Shelley, on catching him on excepted/accepted. Great job.

NurseFrog31 said...

CounselorFrog just became my new favorite contributor with the Major Payne reference. It was a long shift and that just completely made my day.