Friday, September 30, 2011

SMU2BCS: Broadcasting Delusion Across the WWW

This is your brain on drugs.

I'm too lazy to go back and track down which of our award winning blog comment leavers actually posted the link to this site a few weeks back, but I'm surprised nobody else mentioned this. I spent about 2 minutes looking at this and had to step away before I passed out from laughing.

Let's start from the top. The website says to "Be Heard!" because "Texas Legislators need to do what's best for Texas, and when it comes to college football, what's best for Texans is stabilizing the Big 12 ". I'm pretty sure that our Legislators should be worrying about much more important things that Texas football. Besides that, remember what happened the last time the state government got involved in football conference alignment? Oh yeah... TCU and SMU both ended up in the desert.
Besides... begging the government for help is so Commie. Is that why SMU wears red? Communist Ponies! (Fact: SMU chose red and blue because they so desperately want to be Ivy League that they bogarted Harvard and Yale's colors)
The site is pretty neat... and by neat I mean pathetic. They try to build up their athletic program and Dallas. But to do so, they have to stretch the truth in ways that would make Bill Clinton proud. For instance:

  • During its 100-year history, SMU has competed in a BCS conference for 85 years. (The Southwest Conference ended (1995) before the BCS existed (1998). To say that the SWC was in the BCS is like saying the United States defeated Santa Anna at San Jacinto.)
  • The “Football Capital of the World,” Dallas supports big-time college football and deserves a BCS conference school. (And yet, at this time, SMU is the highest level of football played more than once a year in Dallas. Dallas also gets the Red River Rivalry and the Cotton Bowl Classic... both of which beat out the average SMU football game attendance. Maybe Grambling State or Prairie View A&M deserve a BCS spot too. Oh, and the "Football capital of the world" title is debatable... many others claim that too.)
  • Dallas is the ninth-largest city and part of the fourth-largest metropolitan area in the nation. It’s also the No. 1 visitor and leisure destination in Texas. (Citation please... I see San Antonio mentioned more often than Dallas... of course, you'll note that here they mention Dallas as PART of the 4th largest metropolitan area which also includes Fort Worth and Arlington... more on that later).
  • Troy Aikman backs SMU to Big12 (They jump all over this, although they gloss over a slight insult: "I’d love to see SMU as a really great team again." as in "yeah, you guys are kinda okay I guess". Of course, this praise was given to the Ponies "prior to his luncheon appearance at SMU’s Athletic Forum at the Hilton Anatole" so really, what was he going to say while being paid to talk to SMUsers?"
There are also lots of pretty FB and Twitter buttons, Twitter feeds, and internet "news" that helps support their view.

And what about their nice "reasons" they they list in two different spots (totaling 15), some of which include:
  • ATHLETIC SUCCESS: Under head football coach June Jones, a former national coach of the year, SMU has earned consecutive bowl berths and won back-to-back division titles. Its men’s basketball team, led by former national coach of the year Matt Doherty, posted a 20-win season in 2010-11. SMU has won eight Team Championships, over 100 individual NCAA Championships, and 138 Conference Team Championships, while posting 147 NCAA Top-10 team finishes. (This is about FOOTBALL you morons... the BCS doesn't give a rat's ass about Basketball, Soccer, Volleyball, Tiddlywinks, Shot Contests, or how many hookers Craig James can kill (answer: 5). And yes, you had back to back Bowl Game appearances which were your only 2 appearances since the 1980's. And one of those YOU LOST TO ARMY ON YOUR HOME FIELD. You know who else has been to two bowl games in that same time frame? Rice.)
  • FINANCIAL COMMITMENT: SMU has the largest athletic budget of any non-AQ school. It’s committed to competing at the highest level of collegiate athletics, opening a new $60 million on-campus football stadium in 2000 and embarking on an $80 million plan to build new facilities and improve existing ones. (Isn't that cute? They spend more money to get less results that say, TCU or Boise State... hell, even Hawaii has made it to a BCS bowl. That doesn't seem like a plus, more like a "we spend a lot, but it doesn't help that much." Besides, TCU is spending more than your athletic budget on renovations to our stadium. And the Old AGC was better than that High School field the Ponies play on currently.)
  • STRONG ACADEMICS: SMU ranked first in the 2009-10 National Association of Collegiate Directors of Athletics Directors Cup Division I Final Standings. Further, The Economist ranks SMU’s Cox School of Business #1 in the United States for “Potential to Network” and five Cox School departments were recognized among the nation’s top business schools for research productivity based on more than 1.5 million scholarly citations. Only seven schools ranked in the top 30 in all five categories: SMU Cox, Harvard, Stanford, University of Chicago, MIT, NYU, and UCLA. (Again... it's about Football and money... nobody gives a shit about your academics... if it was about academics, the NCAA would've burned down the SEC years ago... in fact, there seems to be a much stronger inverse correlation to academics vs athletics when it comes to the BCS, so maybe you should erase this one.)
  • DALLAS: The ninth-largest city and part of the fourth-largest metropolitan area in the nation, Dallas is the No. 1 visitor and leisure destination in Texas. Home to the Big 12 Conference offices, Dallas is centrally located and within a four-hour flight from most North American destinations. DFW International Airport is the world’s third busiest airport, offering nearly 1,750 flights per day and providing non-stop service to 144 domestic and 44 international destinations worldwide annually. In addition, Dallas Love Field Airport is conveniently located 10 minutes from downtown. In 2011, Dallas became the first city to host the Super Bowl, the World Series, and the NBA Finals, all within the same 12-month period. (Blah, blah, blah, Dallas facts that the BCS doesn't give a shit about... also, let's get something straight, since you are so careful to never mention any city other than Dallas lest anybody remember that there is a team that can actually win BCS bowls on the West Side of the Metroplex: DALLAS only hosted the NBA Finals... ARLINGTON in TARRANT COUNTY next door to FORT WORTH hosted the World Series and the Super Bowl. Dallas taxpayers didn't put of jack shit to see those hosted there so quit claiming them in your BCS BS portfolio. Also, the Dallas Cowboys haven't called the city of Dallas home since 1971... currently they don't even reside in Dallas County. TCU has more claim to the SB, WS, and Cowboys at this point than SMU.)
  • SMU has won C-USA’s Directors’ Cup 11 times in the last 14 years. In the 2010-11 NACDA Directors’ Cup, which quantifies a school’s overall success in collegiate athletics, SMU finished ahead of Boston College, Colorado, Ole Miss, North Carolina State, Utah, Wake Forest, Oregon State, Washington State, Mississippi State, Rutgers and Kansas, all members of AQ conferences. (You finished 3 spots above TCU. We scored all 90 of our points in Football. You scored yours in Football (25 pts) and Men's Soccer (73 pts). Now I love soccer more than most, but once again THIS IS ABOUT AMERICAN FOOTBALL! Oh, and btw, did you know that there is no Men's Soccer in the Big 12? So if you get in there, then what?)
  • SMU is the only FBS athletic program in Dallas, a top 5 TV market and arguably the most football-intense region in the state/country. (Nice try... but either the Dallas Market includes Tarrant County in which TCU rules the college football landscape or it doesn't. You can't have it both ways. The Dallas/Fort Worth market is Top 5, not just Dallas. And besides, as any TCU fan will tell you, the Big 12 has more loyal TV viewers in the DFW market than TCU and SMU combined so this is a moot point.)
  • SMU is just one of two universities in the U.S. with former National Coaches of the Year leading its football and men’s basketball programs. (FOOTBALL! RESULTS! NO ONE GIVES A SHIT!)
  • Led by Matt Doherty, the SMU men’s basketball team is coming off a 20-win season in 2010-11. (sigh)
  • In terms of academics, SMU ranks among the top 25 BCS schools in the U.S., according to U.S. News & World Report’s 2011 guide of the best national universities. And SMU’s Cox School of Business is one of the few schools in the nation with three MBA programs ranked in the top 15 by Bloomberg Businessweek. (Because the BCS cares about MBA programs... right?)
  • SMU is home to the George W. Bush Presidential Center, consisting of the presidential archives, a museum, and an independent public policy institute. (Not really sure that is something to be proud of and further... NO... BODY... GIVES... A... SHIT!)
Basically, this is a website that probably includes more reasons why SMU should be ignored for the BCS than anything else. Fundamentally, this site proves that they just don't get it. Considering the site is run by "a group of SMU alumni and friends of the university", it should send up red flags that the people who seem to be the most concerned about their football team are utter morons who probably couldn't convince a hillbilly to suck down a Mountain Dew.

There is one extremely fun aspect to this site. If you go here, you can send a pre-written email to Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst, Speaker Joe Straus, and State Senator Judith Zaffirini that explains exactly why our government should ignore the fact that our state is falling apart and make sure that the Blow Ponies get into a BCS Football Conference because they are smart and have a good basketball team. But I did say there was a fun part, right? Well, you can "personalize" (ie, edit) the message before you send it. I'm going to say that SMU should go BCS because if they don't, Craig James will probably go all Jack the Ripper again. I may also include that SMU is willing to supply the Texas House with all the nose candy it wants.

Anyway, I hope that this meets the high standards of our award winning blog and that maybe ya'll won't think I just do incoherent posts about women's soccer and Ross Evans.

I leave you with this...

Who loves ponies?


Cro-magnon Frog said...

I am definitely sending an edited letter.

All the Waymon said...

This website looks like a spin off or a redesign of

Quote of the year
"..We'll take out football program - recently named one of the top 50 of all time - to any BCS conference to plan any school, anytime, any plan."

I sure hope they mean that they will be a BCS conference team's homecoming game!!!

cmlakey said...

The only reason SMU has the largest athletic budget among non-AQ's is because TCU is no longer considered on that list, and btw it's not even close.