Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Hate Week Mailsack.

When we first pitched the idea of the mailsack, we weren't sure what kind of response we were going to get so we really had no expectations for how often it would run. Truthfully, it just seemed like it would be nice filler for a slow day. But thanks to our thousands upon thousands of readers who have absolutely flooded our inbox with queries, we're going to make it 2/2 right out of the gate!

Reader Micah starts us off with a few SMU related jokes...How many SMU students does it take to fix a flat tire?

Answer................... Two, one to hold the martinis while the other calls Daddy.
How does an SMU sorority girl change a light bulb?

"Daddy! I need a new apartment."

Thanks for the contribution Micah, and jokes at SMU's expense are always appreciated. However, I fear pro-SMU factions are likely using the same jokes against TCU and they'd be just as correct. And drinking and driving is never funny, unless it lacks death and involves an SMU student going to jail.

Reader Lindsay defends our shit fans...
I've heard all the BS about unloyal fans who would rather tailgate than return to the 2nd half. One thing that's been forgotten is that is was 90* sunny and damn hot. I saw many fans sweating their asses off and little kids crying from the heat. It always amazes me that like the Texas Rangers we schedule games in the middle of the day in September. Add in that we already had 71 days of 100* temps and it's a no brainer-- the pop ups are cooler in the parking lots. To all those bitching about the stands being empty try playing a night game or add a roof to the stadium!

To give credit where credit is due, it was pretty damned hot in that stajium Saturday and I don't think anyone forgot that, but come now. 90 degrees? It's not exactly the Gobi desert. And have you been in the parking lot? I would argue that with all that black asphalt absorbing the harmful UVA and UVB rays, it's actually much hotter out there.

While I agree with you that the scheduling of games at 1 o'clock in the afternoon isn't exactly fan friendly, let's not forget the two reasons for this situation: Television and, you know, GETTING A KICK ASS NEW STAJIUM!! Can't you folks read the press releases? You may not have noticed, but Amon G is currently an open construction site. Probably not the best idea to have 30,000 "lubed up" jagovs wandering about, no? Hey, it's not the ideal situation, but you can't honestly expect to just wake up one day and have everything fixed. It takes time. No pains no gains.

Really, the fan support Saturday wasn't terrible... on the East Side. For the first half I'd venture a guess that it was 95% full. It's the assholes on the west side who are screwing this thing up for everyone and, more specifically, the folks in club seats. You can complain about the heat all you want, but the sun rises in the east and sets in the west! The west side is shaded! Astronomy, bitches!

Normally I'd attribute it to parking lot loitering, but check out Lot 3 this weekend, which is where they moved all the folks who likely qualified for the club seats. Unless history suddenly reverses itself, there were MAYBE 5 total tailgates in that entire lot. What we have here are all the haves putting on adult diapers and pouting at home because their tailgates were temporarily moved for the sake of progress. So I'm attributing it to them not showing up at all rather than them enjoying the tailgating atmosphere in lieu of the game.

To be honest, I don't get as riled up about lack of fan support as a lot of folks that frequent this site because it's just not worth it. It's always going to be that way until we're in the Big 12. And it's sad, but it is what it is. But using the start time and heat as an excuse? Give me a break. This is Texas and it's hot in Texas in September. If you can't handle it, buy a Prius and stay indoors and pleasure yourself to An Inconvenient Truth.

Reader Lalo thinks we're racists...So didn't know y'all frat boys don't take to kind to non Anglos. I was a long time reader but will now remove my app. As a tcu alum myself and true fan. I still love ALL tcu family, Anglo or non anglo. Don't forget, you pilgrim offspring, your ancestors were "foreigners" too. Dick breath!

Hey Lalo, thanks for reading! I don't know what got you so riled up, but boy, you sure are angry. First off, an apology for whatever rubbed you the wrong way. Admittedly, rubbing folks the wrong way is kind of our MO here, but doing so in a racist manner is certainly the opposite of what we're about. Believe it or not, not all of the contributors to this site are "frat boys" and not all of them are anglo. And have you ever read the way we've deified guys like Waymon James, Josh Boyce, Antoine Hicks, Ed Wesley, Braylon Broughton, Stansly Maponga, Tejay Johnson, Jeremy Kerley, Jimmy Young... well, you get it. I'd actually venture a guess to say we're much tougher on the anglos. Just ask Ross Evans. Regardless, clearly something did not suit your expectations for the site and again, all apologies. Hopefully you'll be come back around.

Also, I opened a new tube of Colgate this morning and my breath tastes remarkably minty and fresh, thank you very much.

Reader Tyler suggests Pachall needs a nickname. I agree...What should the official nickname for Pachall be? It seems like he's got a lot of good things to work with... for Dalton all we had was the Rooster, or Red something, or The Less Creepy (Tebow) Christian Quarterback:

Professor Chaos -- a good one for obvious reasons.
Casey, the Creator -- another one referencing the pictures that popped up this summer
The Convict -- because he looks like either Nicolas Cage from Con Air or a guy I could see playing quarterback opposite Michael Vick in the inter-jail football league.
Brett Favre -- because we wears #4
Dr. Strangelove - again referencing the strange pictures from the summer.

It's true that a QB really isn't a QB until he has a proper nickname, but he probably needs a full season under his belt before we can officially decide. I'm always partial to Casey, the Creator because of its timely brilliance, but I think Casey's play this year has earned him the right to put that whole episode behind him. Brett Favre is clearly not going to fly with this crew, and the Convict is a little aggressive and antagonizing. I'd say of your suggestions Professor Chaos has the most potential, but here are a few more I came up with just now. Readers, please contribute your own in the comments.

-The Notorious PAC. Would also work with his initials C_P, but I do not know his middle name.
-Six PAC - cause TDs, sicko.
-The Tatted Assassin, or the Tatsassin
-Magic Sleeve
-Fine Line Ink - OSU tattoo parlor, potential to work with here which I clearly did not.
-The Brownwood Bomber
-Brownwood's Finest
-Professor Long Hair
-James Fry's Fart Catcher

Seriously readers, help us out.

Finally, our last reader had a photo contribution to keep you warm during Hate Week:

Oh Ponies. Never change. HATE HATE HATE!!


Boyce of Summer said...

Heard this one in the stands last week:

Casey da Snowman

More for the younger readers, but reference Young Jeezy for clarification. Let's hope he is past that stage in his life.

BayouCityFrog said...

The Sleeve...plain and simple

RollsBoyce82 said...
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RollsBoyce82 said...

The Joker...guy just needs to dye his hair green and his eye black pretty much takes care of the rest

Porkins said...

Casey "Honey Badger" Pachall

Because Pachall don't give a sh*t, he takes what he wants.

If you have no idea what I am talking about, you tube!

Slay Purple said...

Casey, the Creator is great, but after rewatching the Honey badger youtube video I am sold

money said...
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money said...
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Porkins said...

Honey Badger fits perfectly!

1) He is kind of a Bada$$
2) He can run backwards
3) He is not afraid of cobras

There is no better nick name.


shortnkerley's said...

There are tons of better nicknames, like all the others previously mentioned. If I played football, I wouldnt want the word honey in my nickname. Casey, The Creator or Professor Chaos.

Sir Wesley Willis said...

Yeah, and clearly I'm not going to approve any Young Jeezy reference and since I wrote the mailsack I get to call the shots, right?

Casey, the Creator works, it's just kinda long. I think we need to be more sleeve centric.

NurseFrog31 said...

Not gonna lie, I like the Honey Badger one because that video is hilarious and it kind of works in this situation. But I'm all about simple, so my vote is The Sleeve or The Joker, as suggested by RollsBoyce.

Travis said...

The Freak

Mighty Casey
(watching MLB playoffs, so maybe a baseball themed moniker)


El Conquistador, for our Latin amigos.(you all are a bunch of anglo racists! I include myself)

Captain Casey

Casey Courageous

The Brownwood Baller

The Brownwood Beast

The Carver, as in carving up defensive secondaries

Brownwood Bomber is good, The Sleeve is excellent!

BuckNasty said...

the case
brownwood bronco- bc he looks like a boise state fan/player
cold case

B-O-Y-C-E said...

Long hair don't care

Dave said...
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D said...

- This is getting silly, but I'll knock two down to one:

"The Brownwood Badger"

-Si vamos la ruta hispana:

The Sleeve = "La Manga"

The Badger = "El Tejón"

shortnkerley's said...

On twitter his handle is The_Joker4 and Boyce is Darknight_82. The search is over. Those are both awesome.

49 Pairs of Sneakers said...

Honey Badger is pretty taken. That one okay guy #7 at LSU.

The Sleeve and then La Manga just to yell when the desire to be obnoxious is felt.

He can't just create his own nickname even though the twitter aliases are pretty funny.

Sir Wesley Willis said...

uhhh how can it NOT be La Manga?

D said...


same. Mondo and La Manga go too well together.

49 Pairs of Sneakers said...

No one will be able to tell the difference just scream La Manga.