Thursday, September 22, 2011

Conference Realignment, Lord of the Flies Style

Anyone else tired of watching “distinguished” and “intellectual” college academias reenact William Golding’s classic with our college football lives at stake?

Disciples of GP: I’m done with caring about this and you should be to- here’s why.

You have no idea what’s going to happen
CFB realignment talk probably set an internet traffic record leading up to Pitt and Syracuse leaving, and guess what, not one of you (yes, you the entire world wide web) predicted that would happen in all 1,000,000,000,000 different realignment scenarios that were banded about endlessly. If anyone in the comments writes one more “here’s what’s going to happen,” or offers up what they think should happen, or feels compelled to throw out their own “dream” realignment scenario complete with make believe conferences pulled from the very ass on which they sit….well they can rot in internet hell because I can’t take anymore of this “speculating.”

Pitt and Syracuse have RUINED the Big East (sarcasm)
Here’s 6 teams, rank them in order of which ones you give a shit about

Air Force

Look, I get that it’s really bad for our Big East move according to everything you read…..but we’re talking about Pittsburg and Syracuse- it’s not like we’re talking about losing Nebraska and A&M. I also get that the ACC probably isn’t lining up to take a service academy or Houston so obviously they’re not as attractive in TV/money terms but from a pure football perspective from someone who lives in Texas- I don’t know/care what cities Pittsburg and Syracuse are even in.

Which leads me to A&M and NEB
These guys are sipping Coronas on the beach. You can’t even imagine how happy they are to be done with that cancer down in Austin. I know this isn’t UT’s fault- someone else ran off two of the most tradition rich programs in the sport…probably Baylor. I think I prefer the Sunbelt to being on my knees in the UT 9 (I’ll be the first to admit my hatred of them could cloud judgment). This really does feel like the Titanic- you have the Captain (UT) staying on board w/ the rats and poor people (Tetch, Iowa St, Baylor) while all the rich elitists (ATM and Nebraska) enjoy the violin music from their cushy life rafts. I’d rather go rescue Kate Winslet in the ol’ “sex-for-a-spot-in-the-life-raft” trade then painfully freeze to death with Leonardo DiCaprio.

Our worst case is winning the Rose Bowl and finishing #2 in the country
OMG we’re not going to be in a BCS conference….OMG…OMG this non-BCS life is terrifying, how are we going to survive? I get that coming from Baylor and Iowa St. but TCU? REALLY??? For the Baylor’s, Tech’s, Iowa St (basically anybody in the Big 12 not named UT or OU) this has got to be just terrifying and let’s admit it….downright degrading…even though (for some) if they did lose AQ status it might end up being the best thing that ever happened to them….which leads me to TCU. It’s very hard to know where we’d be today if we weren’t left out of the Big 12/SWC realignment. You could argue it either way, but I will say few schools have enjoyed their college football ride the last few years like we have…think about it- how many teams would you trade places with? There’s 126 teams in college football, where would you slot TCU? Would you trade the last few years to go back in time and be in the Big 12?

Look, we haven’t played a single season in a BCS conference and we’ve done just fine. Our worst case is we end up in some conference with a little more high profile teams/better opponents than we previously had. In the meantime, let’s just place our trust in G M-Fing P, and C “Best Dressed MF-er in the Room” DC.

Conference Realignment Pictures:

Dan Beebe

Some would say comparing Dan Beebe to Joseph Goebbels is inappropriate, especially since that’d make DeLoss Dodds Hitler…those people don't know shit about college football.

G M-Fing P
Does he look worried? He's smiling....and he never smiles.

C “Best Dressed MF-er in the Room” DC (or CBDMFITRDC)

This guy is smoother than medicated cotton, you don’t think he’s on top of this?

A&M and Nebraska are drinking the coronas. We’re the hot chick in the bikini relaxing in the hammock. Contrary to popular belief, they have not fucked us. So relax and enjoy that comfy hammock on this super badass island and while you’re at it get you mind right because on Saturday this guy and his friends are coming to Cowtown.


EdK said...

Well, that's all well and good -- and I DO appreciate the last decade of TCU football more than most (I lived through the F.A. Dry era), but the landscape is changing.

Hey, I read the posts on Yahoo! and cbssports and ESPN. Most college football fans still think TCU is some cute little school on a recent hot streak.

The freaking school needs to be in a BSC conference but quick or the ship is going to sail without us.

EdK said...


It'sMillerTime said...

I understand your hatred for UT, but you can't let that get in the way of your love for TCU. I read spit blood everyday and generally agree with everything y'all say, but if you honestly think that TCU is better off as a non-AQ than in the Big 12, you sir need to stop talking about college football.

Yeah, we've enjoyed a great last 2 years and we reached the pinnacle of what any non-AQ team can do... like you said, #2 in the country. But I think "G MF-ing P" wants a national title, not a top 5 or top 10 finish year after year. The goal is to improve, not keep the status quo.

And maybe you don't know where Pitt/ Syracuse are located (Syracuse is in Syracuse, NY... go figure), but that doesn't mean that they weren't a large reason for the AQ status of the Big East. Which, in my opinion, is in serious jeopardy in 2014.

If TCU gets an offer from the Big 12, we HAVE to take it. Yeah, you might not like being "under the thumb" of UT, but there's one way to change that-- beat them.

Go Frogs

EdK said...

Ditto, Miller, ditto.

THEFINCH said...

It'sMillerTime, meet FrogTalk/Ask A Frog. FrogTalk/Ask A Frog, this is It'sMillerTime

Tanner said...

i was just thinking this today when "TCU looking like option to fill out Big 12" crap came out.

I'm done with this shit. I hope CDC sends a picture in the mail to whoever is in charge over there showing him middle finger in the camera, john cash style. Big 12 is still a sinking ship and I'd rather be a part of BE yacht for a few years than that mess.

CDC is too tan and too confident and too smooth to get glossed over. without pitt and cuse? who cares? get AF and Miami OH for all i care.

Any "conference" with Texas in it is like strapping yourself to a plush, high-paying bomb for 3-5 years. it aint gonna work. period.

D said...

When CBDMFITRDC pats you on the back, you put it on your resume.

WWHD (What Would Hughes Do) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
shortnkerley's said...

Pretty sure not knowing what cities Pittsburgh and Syracuse are located in was a joke. Actually I'm positive. How could anyone not see that?

It's Miller Time strikes again.

LT4heisman said...

Joe Goebbels reference might be inappropriate, but it's still hilarious and actually fairly accurate - minus the whole genocide thing.

You're like the Dennis Miller of Spitblood.

FlyingT said...

Signing over tv rights makes the Big 12 pretty stable.