Baylor's 2011 GameDay T-Shirt.
With the dog days of summer still nigh upon us and only looking to get worse, plus yesterday's news that we will only be playing day games at home sticking pretty hard in my craw, forgive me if I'm a little grumpy on this Tuesday morning. But what's the best way to channel said grumpiness into something constructive? A little Baylor hate, of course! Yes, as lyle pointed out to me earlier, we are officially one month away from the day we will travel down I-35 and treat the Bears like a Houston area Financial Advisor treated Head Coach Art Briles' portfolio. So I think it's appropriate that we set aside a little time in our day to explain exactly why it is that we hate Baylor so, so much. I'll get it started with the obvious....
Oh Robert Griffin. We hardly know you, but you're easily the most hated athlete on any roster in the NCAA for a TCU fan. To be fair, it's not entirely your fault... but it IS pretty much your own fault. Let's recap:
- Before the season, Texas Monthly publishes an infamous article about Texas QBs which gives Robert Griffin lots of love while leaving none for Andy Dalton. At the time this infuriated me to the point that I cancelled my subscription - a decision I never once regretted because Texas Monthly is the worst magazine published today, even moreso than Hit Parader which has featured Limp Bizkit and Insane Clown Posse on its cover - and gave me plenty of fuel for the Baylor fire. Of course, if all it took was a slight from a shit publication to set up our season, I'll take it every time, but I do recall being particularly grumpy that Robert Griffin was getting so much attention despite doing NOTHING in his career to that point. So while it's not really HIS fault persay, he's still somewhat guilty for not rescinding the attention he was given, right?
- Then the week of the game came, and along with it Baylor fans proclamations that "TCU will never be able to stop Griffin and the Baylor offence (sic)" and how we have "No Big time WR and our RB is a 2 star guy no one wanted" and that "We have no one fast enough to spy Griffin the entire game." This will all come into play later. Remember the question exchange with something called "Theebears.com?" That sure was fun and accurate on their end! Again, not directly Griffin's fault, but the way the Waco faithful deify the guy would rub even the most devout Bible thumping Baptist the wrong way.
- But what CAN you attribute to Griffin? This: "Winning just is so reliant on belief. I look at TCU, and they don't have the best athletes in the country," Griffin says. "But when you start winning and win and win and win, people buy in. They believe. They're not all world beaters, but they believe. That's what we're trying to do here." He also went on to refer to TCU as being "Just a step up" from Buffalo. Thanks for the inspiration, guy.
- And then the game happened. And, well, it did not go so well for Baylor or Robert Griffin. To continue tooting my own horn, I kind of called most of what would happen before a down was even played and it was a lot of fun to look back on that just now. We threw on the all blacks and made Baylor our bitch to the tune of 45-10 that was so comically lopsided one of their linebackers tripped over a yard marker - note: These are not raised - while chasing Ed Wesley to make it appear he did not get beat. Andy Dalton set a school record for accuracy, finishing 21-23 for 267 yards and 2 TDs and Ed Wesley scored twice himself and tallied 165 yards. As for Griffin? He had a Heisman worthy day of 16/28 for 164 yards and 1 TD thru the air, but his famous legs are where he really shined: A DAUNTING 14 attempts for 21 yards, or a 1.5 yard average. So yeah, he really backed up his talk, didn't he? We totally couldn't spy him. But where Griffin really stood out was his mental midgetry when being heckled as he actually responded with a smug look and raised hands when Section V began a rousing "Rob-Ert-Gri-Ffin" chant. I'm guessing recent Heisman winners like Tim Tebow, Mark Ingram and, heck, even the ultimate dumbass Cam Newton didn't let the fans of a bunch of "world beaters" get to them during their runs. Get your mind right, son!
- And then, of course, Griffin did himself one better when he, after the Bears had rolled off wins against such stalwarts as Rice, Kansas and Colorado, declared that the TCU game was a "fluke." So how did he back it up? By dropping the Bears' last four games of the season, including getting thunderblasted in their first bowl game in decades by a shit Illinois team in what was practically a home environment in Houston. But, of course, those games were all flukes as well.
So what of this year? What can we really expect? Well, the Bears lost second leading receiver Josh Gordon"indefinitely" due to disciplinary reasons, although the Bears are so sneaky corrupt I wouldn't be surprised to see him back come September 2nd. Regardless, that's a setback. As for Griffin himself, he's apparently a changed man based on this interview with Mac Engel -who, despite covering TCU is a HUGE Griffin slurper, so watch out for him - where he suggests he's "not a trash talker" and talked about how "proud" he is of TCU for winning the Rose Bowl. After you stop rolling your eyes and making wanking motions, please go back and read a few paragraphs above for some discrediting of those comments.
And, of course, the Heisman train is back on the rails with Griffin getting an official notice from the Committee that he will be considered. Here is Baylor's official marketing for the campaign:
Ok, so I get it - He's ROBERT GRIFFIN THE THIRD NOT THE FIRST NOT THE SECOND - so they're playing on that. But, let's say you just know him only as Robert Griffin, doesn't this look a little curious? Like, "Keep your eye on the third place finisher?" Way to shoot for the moon, Bears! Although, if Griffin finishes in the top three of the voting I'll attend the next TCU/Baylor game, whenever it happens, in furry bear costume and even do that "sic em" thing, so I suppose that would be a pretty bold proclamation in Waco terms.
Regardless, it's clear that the expectations in Waco are as high as they have ever been, perhaps in their history, this year, and with our expectations being somewhat low compared to the norm, this could be a dangerous matchup to kick things off. So let's hate them back to reality in the comments. I know you guys will make me proud. Tell us why YOU hate Baylor. Personal anecdotes are encouraged and preferred. Also, completely made up stories, because those are entertaining too.