Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Let The Hate Officially Begin.

Baylor's 2011 GameDay T-Shirt.

With the dog days of summer still nigh upon us and only looking to get worse, plus yesterday's news that we will only be playing day games at home sticking pretty hard in my craw, forgive me if I'm a little grumpy on this Tuesday morning. But what's the best way to channel said grumpiness into something constructive? A little Baylor hate, of course! Yes, as lyle pointed out to me earlier, we are officially one month away from the day we will travel down I-35 and treat the Bears like a Houston area Financial Advisor treated Head Coach Art Briles' portfolio. So I think it's appropriate that we set aside a little time in our day to explain exactly why it is that we hate Baylor so, so much. I'll get it started with the obvious....


Oh Robert Griffin. We hardly know you, but you're easily the most hated athlete on any roster in the NCAA for a TCU fan. To be fair, it's not entirely your fault... but it IS pretty much your own fault. Let's recap:

  • Before the season, Texas Monthly publishes an infamous article about Texas QBs which gives Robert Griffin lots of love while leaving none for Andy Dalton. At the time this infuriated me to the point that I cancelled my subscription - a decision I never once regretted because Texas Monthly is the worst magazine published today, even moreso than Hit Parader which has featured Limp Bizkit and Insane Clown Posse on its cover - and gave me plenty of fuel for the Baylor fire. Of course, if all it took was a slight from a shit publication to set up our season, I'll take it every time, but I do recall being particularly grumpy that Robert Griffin was getting so much attention despite doing NOTHING in his career to that point. So while it's not really HIS fault persay, he's still somewhat guilty for not rescinding the attention he was given, right?
  • Then the week of the game came, and along with it Baylor fans proclamations that "TCU will never be able to stop Griffin and the Baylor offence (sic)" and how we have "No Big time WR and our RB is a 2 star guy no one wanted" and that "We have no one fast enough to spy Griffin the entire game." This will all come into play later. Remember the question exchange with something called "Theebears.com?" That sure was fun and accurate on their end! Again, not directly Griffin's fault, but the way the Waco faithful deify the guy would rub even the most devout Bible thumping Baptist the wrong way.
  • But what CAN you attribute to Griffin? This: "Winning just is so reliant on belief. I look at TCU, and they don't have the best athletes in the country," Griffin says. "But when you start winning and win and win and win, people buy in. They believe. They're not all world beaters, but they believe. That's what we're trying to do here." He also went on to refer to TCU as being "Just a step up" from Buffalo. Thanks for the inspiration, guy.
  • And then the game happened. And, well, it did not go so well for Baylor or Robert Griffin. To continue tooting my own horn, I kind of called most of what would happen before a down was even played and it was a lot of fun to look back on that just now. We threw on the all blacks and made Baylor our bitch to the tune of 45-10 that was so comically lopsided one of their linebackers tripped over a yard marker - note: These are not raised - while chasing Ed Wesley to make it appear he did not get beat. Andy Dalton set a school record for accuracy, finishing 21-23 for 267 yards and 2 TDs and Ed Wesley scored twice himself and tallied 165 yards. As for Griffin? He had a Heisman worthy day of 16/28 for 164 yards and 1 TD thru the air, but his famous legs are where he really shined: A DAUNTING 14 attempts for 21 yards, or a 1.5 yard average. So yeah, he really backed up his talk, didn't he? We totally couldn't spy him. But where Griffin really stood out was his mental midgetry when being heckled as he actually responded with a smug look and raised hands when Section V began a rousing "Rob-Ert-Gri-Ffin" chant. I'm guessing recent Heisman winners like Tim Tebow, Mark Ingram and, heck, even the ultimate dumbass Cam Newton didn't let the fans of a bunch of "world beaters" get to them during their runs. Get your mind right, son!
  • And then, of course, Griffin did himself one better when he, after the Bears had rolled off wins against such stalwarts as Rice, Kansas and Colorado, declared that the TCU game was a "fluke." So how did he back it up? By dropping the Bears' last four games of the season, including getting thunderblasted in their first bowl game in decades by a shit Illinois team in what was practically a home environment in Houston. But, of course, those games were all flukes as well.
So what of this year? What can we really expect? Well, the Bears lost second leading receiver Josh Gordon"indefinitely" due to disciplinary reasons, although the Bears are so sneaky corrupt I wouldn't be surprised to see him back come September 2nd. Regardless, that's a setback. As for Griffin himself, he's apparently a changed man based on this interview with Mac Engel -who, despite covering TCU is a HUGE Griffin slurper, so watch out for him - where he suggests he's "not a trash talker" and talked about how "proud" he is of TCU for winning the Rose Bowl. After you stop rolling your eyes and making wanking motions, please go back and read a few paragraphs above for some discrediting of those comments.

And, of course, the Heisman train is back on the rails with Griffin getting an official notice from the Committee that he will be considered. Here is Baylor's official marketing for the campaign:



Ok, so I get it - He's ROBERT GRIFFIN THE THIRD NOT THE FIRST NOT THE SECOND - so they're playing on that. But, let's say you just know him only as Robert Griffin, doesn't this look a little curious? Like, "Keep your eye on the third place finisher?" Way to shoot for the moon, Bears! Although, if Griffin finishes in the top three of the voting I'll attend the next TCU/Baylor game, whenever it happens, in furry bear costume and even do that "sic em" thing, so I suppose that would be a pretty bold proclamation in Waco terms.

Regardless, it's clear that the expectations in Waco are as high as they have ever been, perhaps in their history, this year, and with our expectations being somewhat low compared to the norm, this could be a dangerous matchup to kick things off. So let's hate them back to reality in the comments. I know you guys will make me proud. Tell us why YOU hate Baylor. Personal anecdotes are encouraged and preferred. Also, completely made up stories, because those are entertaining too.

30 Days...

15 comments:

Lyle Lanley said...

Baylor is like the dorky kid who thinks he's popular just because he silently sits at the popular kids' table at lunch...and only because they can't be mean to him because their Moms play bridge with his Mom.

And yet, they think their membership in the Big 12 gives them the ability to snub their nose at TCU the way UT and A&M do to them. I can't tell you how many of my Baylor "friends" were telling me how bad they were going to beat us last year because the Frogs weren't going to be able to keep up with their Big 12 athletes. And of course there were the two smug Baylor fans in front of me at the baseball regionals two years ago that proclaimed that Steven Maxwell (MWC Pitcher of the Year that year) wouldn't last 3 innings against Big 12 batters. He pitched 8 shutout innings and the Frogs won in a laugher.

shortnkerley's said...

I hate Baylor because their basketball players like to ruthlessly murder one another and their coach likes to cover it up as a drug deal gone bad. I also hate Baylor because they are delusional. I hate Baylor because it's in Waco. I hate Baylor because their QB is a track star and their coach is a HS football legend and nothing more. I hate Baylor because they hate fun and winning, 2 of my favorite things.

tcueddietcu said...

I hate Baylor because I love TCU

Slay Purple said...

I hate Baylor because every guy I have talked to from that school talks about how "crazy" those four years were...I even had one call me out for "wrongly" stating that The Rooster had more rushing yards than RGIII last year..

LOLfolding said...

What cracks me up about Baylor fans is that they never seem to get it. They're a bad football team and have been for the last 20+ years but 3 win season after 3 win season, they never seem to get it.

I got into it with an aggie friend of mine who recently married a Baylor grad (you can see where this is going) about how terrible Baylor is and always has been. He tried to make the point about how far they'd come and how Art Briles is taking the program places. IT'S REALLY EASY TO LOOK AT 6 WINS AS PROGRESS WHEN YOU'RE USED TO 3. Baylor fans and apologists just never seem to get it through their heads that their team is awful. I hate Baylor because their team sucks and the just never figure it out.

Lyle Lanley said...

You know an Aggie fan and a Baylor fan that were recently married? Are they 17 years old?

LA Frog said...

I hate Baylor because their mascot is Jar Jar Binks! Bring back the live bear mascot - except even a live bear doesn't want to live in Waco

Wendy Peffercorn said...

I hate that black ass Wesley Snipes

LOLfolding said...

@ LL - Shockingly, no.

But I'd like to comment-jack for a second. I really want SMU to beat aggie. REALLY want. Am I alone in this? Strength of schedule aside, I think a good SMU team makes our rivalry more fun. Whereas Baylor I just want to lose by 20+ every game and fortunately that wish is granted often.

Lyle Lanley said...

I see we have another fan of the comedy stylings of the late, great Bernie Mac

Taylor said...

I hate everything about baylor with a passion. Their fans, their students, their colors, their city, their campus, their football stadium, their football team, RG3, their girls, their mascot, Art Briles. Baylor fans are seriously the most insecure, most butt hurt, most delusional group of people on the face of this planet. And they just don't get it. They suck and always will suck. Robert Griffin sucks. Everything about baylor sucks.

I think this sums it up nicely. "Sucks to BU"

LOLfolding said...

@ Taylor - Yeah, we haven't even begun to touch on what a god awful town Waco is. I don't even like having to drive through that shithole.

LA Frog said...

@LOLfolding - I used to take Loop 340E so as not to go through Waco proper -- plus I got to see 40+ police cars scream by once (to go attack David Koresh)

LA Frog said...

Can't wait for Pachall to do this again to Baylor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VisLOGbEYY4

Preach said...

Robert Griffin is the TRUTH.... wow