Thursday, July 7, 2011

Graham Watson- You Suck.

Graham Watson on the right. A more than likely drunk or severely hungover Ivan Maisel on the left.

Since football season ended, I haven't expressed much hate (mainly just baseball disappointment), but our old friend, disgraced ESPN Non-AQ blog bitch Graham Watson has finally given me some football related ammo. For those who don't remember Ms. Watson, be glad. She tried to cover TCU and other non-AQ teams for a couple of years (or 1 year, I don't care enough to remember) for, but clearly the worldwide leader in sports saw exactly what the rest of her readers saw--she sucks. So they fired her (or so I'm assuming), and now she writes for the Yahoo/Rivals sports blog, and if she keeps up the awful work I'm sure she'll be covering FCS games in the Rust Belt before we know it.

Unfortunately for those who haven't seen the ad, it has been removed from youtube for some reason. Maybe they chose not to run it and are editing it, in which case Graham would be right about what she said, I guess. I realize it's not the greatest advertisement for TCU football, but I have purple tinted glasses and I enjoyed it. Also, since Graham was bitchy enough to pick it apart and talk about what's wrong with it, I've decided to be a dick in return and dissect her analysis of it and show everyone what's wrong with her, other than the obvious "she's a woman writing about a man's game" thing (sorry ladies...).

For starters, Graham, actually as I say this, maybe she got confused by her unfortunate man name and thought she was a boy for years growing up and got way into football and that's how she got where she is today as a nomadic sports blogger. Anyways, back on track- her first dumb comment comes when making reference to the "train noise" at the beginning of the commercial. Then, she admits that someone had to tell her that it was the Froghorn, which plays when we score touchdowns. Let me get this straight, Graham- your job was to follow non-AQ's for, and in 1 year, the only year I remember you from, both TCU and Boise State went to BCS games, but you're unfamiliar with any sort of game day tradition at a TCU home game? Did you need someone to tell you Boise State had a blue field as well? Geez, I can't believe ESPN let such a perceptive, insightful journalist go...

Also, she complains that there isn't enough footage from the Rose Bowl season and that it focuses too much on historical stuff from the '38 championship, Davey O'Brien's Heisman, etc. I understand that Graham's football brain, especially her TCU one, doesn't expand much past last season, but even though it's old, showing your Heisman winner and your national championship doesn't really put off the negative vibe that she seems to take from it. Like I mentioned earlier, the video is down, but from what I remember and from discussing it with others, there are several clips from the 2011 season and especially the Rose Bowl (I specifically remember Tank Carder blowing of Tolzien and Patterson hoisting the trophy), so don't bitch about how there's not enough modern day highlights. It's a 30 second spot, moron. TCU can't exactly put together a greatest hits compilation in that time.

Graham then decides to bitch and moan about how there's footage of the stadium crumbling. Now, this one I can see people not understanding. You don't really want to show your stadium falling apart, but it was blown up and there's a little more significance to it then Graham wants to let you know. She says it "sends the wrong message". The message I got, and I think the message that was trying to be implied, was that TCU is undergoing massive changes for the better and the demolition of the upper deck demonstrates that. I'll leave this one alone, because it's really a matter of person opinion on what you think of that, but I get it, and see that crummy old upper deck crumble actually is exciting to me.

Luckily, Graham might have saved her dumbest comment for last- saying that the slogan "This season, all will know purple reigns" isn't bad, but should come complete with a Prince cameo. She could be joking, but after all of her other idiotic assessments, I wouldn't bet on it. Prince. That's what we want. The most vein, homoerotic, bi-curious weirdo on the planet to plug TCU football. No thanks, Graham. She also says the ad didn't encourage her to buy tickets, which is interesting because, despite covering the team in the past you clearly were never encouraged to buy tickets then either. So, if you're not interested in buying tickets, we're not interested in having you at The Carter anyways. Go deep throat Kellen Moore, Chris Petersen and the rest if the Smurfs and we will keep winning whether you care to see it or not, you clueless bitch. Sorry for the rage outbursts. It's been a while, and she's basically the female Rod Gilmore/Kirk Herbstreit hybrid, so she deserves it.

*Side note- I tried to dig up more dirt on her by researching her on Wikipedia, but she has no page. Go figure. Also, below is the largest solo picture of Graham Watson I could find on Google Images. You're a star, Graham.

***UPDATE: The Graham Watson commercial bashing story has been taken down. At first I didn't think my link worked, but it doesn't work anywhere. Most likely it's gone because the youtube video doesn't work anymore, but I'm claiming victory over Ms. Watson. Suck it, and don't F with TCU!


LA Frog said...

Why does ESPN choose to air footage of anyone disecting a program's youtube ad? What advertisers paid for commercials during this time slot -- the poor bastards.

I see this as your warm-up to Craig James hate in a few weeks (Mike Leech's autobiography titled "Swing Your Sword" comes out July 19)

shortnkerley's said...

I guess I should have clarified that this is a Yahoo sports/Rivals post from her. She blogs for them now, and apparently now gets her college football insight via youtube. I'm sure Craig James will be making an ass out of himself soon enough, as well as Gilmorestreit, but for now, this dumbshit is the target of my offseason vitriol. Hopefully I can find more dumb shit from her, but I didn't even know she was still around until this popped up. That's how bad she is.

Cro-magnon Frog said...

When I click on it, the article cannot be found. and when I click on other links for it, it still cannot find the article.

ShortNpubey, did yahoo read spitblood and kill her article?

BuckNasty said...

Not pulling up for me either.

shortnkerley's said...

Yeah it's gone. Yahoo took it down too, so it wasn't my link that was screwed up. Maybe they just realized she's garbage and let her go like ESPN did. Spitblood 1, Graham Watson 0.

Angry Trey said...

Video is back up now with "Buy your season tickets" at the end

Wonder Why said...

Been to a few games at TCU myself. Shittiest stadium in the country, hands down. Including I-AAs.