Friday, April 1, 2011

BREAKING NEWS


From the Associated Press

"In a stunning announcement this morning, 4 star running back Johnathan Gray of Aledo has made his decision as to what school he plans to attend to attend in 2012. One of the top recruits in the country, Gray had 58 touchdowns in 2010 including 8 in the 4A state title game. He had been recruited heavily by Texas, Texas A&M, and TCU. He previously announced that he would make his final decision on the 22nd of this month.

However, in an interview this morning, Gray stated that he no longer wanted to wait and was so excited to make his decision. Gray then stated that in 2012 he will take his talents to Waco and play for the Baylor Bears.

Gray stated that the primary reason for going to Baylor was because of their history as a football powerhouse. He reiterated comments from the great Robert Griffin III that the loss to TCU by 35 points was merely a fluke, that Baylor had much better talent because they play in the Big 12/10, and they would beat TCU 9 of 10 times. He also believed the statements by Griffin that the last three games of Big 12 play, where the Bears were completely destroyed by ranked teams, were also a fluke and that Baylor was robbed because of bad calls by the referees. Being robbed so greatly left them completely unmotivated for their bowl game in which they were also blown out by a sub par and unranked Illinois team.

Texas, Texas A&M and TCU all issued responses to the decision by Gray. Texas stated that 'If he doesn't want to be constantly pampered then he should enjoy Baylor. Unless his name is Vince Young or Colt McCoy, then we probably didn't really have a chance to win any way. I mean, we lost our entire coaching staff, would you want to come here?'. Texas A&M responded as well, 'And we thought we were an after thought in the conference, but Baylor has no relevance what so ever. We cannot believe that Gray didn't want to go to a school that has male cheerleaders, yell practice, and a cemetery for its mascots. Who wouldn't want that kind of tradition?' TCU also is issued a comment, 'We wish Gray all the best at Baylor. We just sent Baylor a replica of our Rose Bowl and back to back conference trophies, our final top ten rankings, and our overall record this past decade so they have something to strive for.'

Baylor has already begun making plans for the arrival of Gray in 2012. They have built a case to house Gray's Heisman Trophy which they plan on him winning as a freshman. The case is right next to the one already built for Robert Griffin's Heisman and Davey O'Brien trophies which in an unprecedented move will be awarded before the season, because no one else in the country is even close to playing on the same level as Griffin. Baylor has also constructed national title rooms which will commemorate their upcoming, and also unprecedented, five straight national titles."

Gray was not available for comment on this story, because if your still reading, then its likely you have figured out that Gray has not made his decision yet, and this is Spitblood's weak attempt at an April Fools joke. See everyone at the spring game tomorrow.

6 comments:

BuckNasty said...

very weak attempt.

LENEtown Fizzle said...

thats so cock

Spit Purple said...

The title popped up on my phone and I got really excited. Then I read it, well played.

Dave said...

clever counselor

tcumaniac said...

this made my day

HornyFrog said...

happy april's fools day