Wednesday, October 13, 2010

2010 Mid-Season Review.

Spoiler Alert! The scales are surprisingly balanced.

As we move from the decidedly calm waters – post week 1, of course – of our early schedule to the maelstrom that is the back half, I thought it might be interesting to see how this year’s team compares to last's at this particular point in time. Interestingly enough, last season’s second half began with BYU as well. Without doing any research, you’d assume it’d be fairly difficult for this year’s unit to top last year’s school record setting offense and top ranked defense... but you also probably thought that Mormon video below was a work of satirical fiction too, which I can assure you it was not.

Offense.

Quarterback:

2009 Andy Dalton: 93/142 (65%) – 1223 Yards – 8 TDs – 3 INTs.

2010 Andy Dalton: 92/138 (67%) – 1177 Yards – 9 TDs – 4 INTs.

It’s pretty remarkable to see how close these numbers resemble each other. We’ve been so critical of AD version 4.0, but as you can see he’s on just about the same pace as he was last year, and has actually been slightly more accurate. The schedule was more front loaded last year with Virginia, Clemson and Air Force coming in the first six games, but there was also a layup game against Texas State and both years against Colorado State. Still, it’s clear that, at the current rate, Dalton will have just as many opportunities as he did last year to break any records that may be left standing in his way.

Edge – Push.

Running Backs:

2009 Ed Wesley: 50 attempts – 273 yards – 1 TD

2010 Ed Wesley: 87 attempts – 612 yards - TDs

2009 Matthew Tucker: 46 attempts – 223 yards – 1 TDs

2010 Matthew Tucker: 75 attempts – 356 yards – 5 TDs.

2009 All Rushers: 287 attempts – 1350 yards – 17 TDs.

2010 All Rushers: 284 attempts – 1680 yards – 23 TDs.

Well this one was sure to change a bit in the offseason with the graduation of Joseph Turner, but wow do those numbers tell a story. For Wesley especially, considering with 26 more yards he will have eclipsed his entire total from last year and already has 3 more TDs. Tucker should post better numbers as well based on the averages, but not as dramatic as Wesley. But the most telling sign is when you look at the totals for all of our rushers, the attempts match up, but the yardage and TDs aren’t even close.

Edge – 2010.

Receivers:

For the sake of brevity, I will just take a look at our four main dudes – Jimmy Young, Jeremy Kerley, Antoine Hicks and Bart Johnson.

2009 Tax: 16 catches – 280 yards – 2 TDs

2010 Tax: 7 catches – 126 yards – 1 TD

2009 Kerley: 19 catches – 229 yards – 0 TDs

2010 Kerley: 23 catches – 237 yards – 4 TDs

2009 Antoine Hicks: 8 catches – 118 yards – 2 TDs

2010 Antoine Hicks: 4 catches – 66 yards – 1 TD

2009 Bart Johnson: 19 catches – 204 yards – 0 TDs

2010 Bart Johnson: 18 catches – 192 yards – 2 TDs

2009 All Receivers: 94 catches – 1236 yards – 8 TDs

2010 All Receivers: 95 catches – 1218 yards – 9 TDs

Pretty interesting to see the difference in numbers, especially for Jimmy Young overall and for Kerley in the TDs department. Clearly he’s a different beast altogether this season. Antoine Hicks’ production has dropped off, but he has to get looks before he can get back to where he was and before he can get looks he has to stop dropping the ball. Bart is as reliable as he’s always been, but now with more TDs! Overall though, the numbers are about the same. Definitely too close to call.

Edge – Push.

Overall Offensive Production:

2009 Frogs: 33.8 points per game, 431 yards per game, 25 TDs, 13 fumbles, 3 INTs, 138 First Downs, 7 sacks allowed.

2010 Frogs: 41.7 points per game, 483 yards per game, 31 TDs, 4 fumbles, 4 INTs, 152 First Downs, 3 sacks allowed.

Wow, for all the bitching we’ve done about our offense not being on track, they’re pretty much kicking last year’s greatest ever in the balls. I’ll sit down and keep my mouth shut.

Edge – 2010.

Defense.

The best way to tackle – zing! – this one seems to be just taking a look at the overall numbers from last year’s defense at this time compared to what we have going now. I think we’re going to be very surprised at how well they match up.

2009 Frogs: 238 yards per game (81 rush, 157 pass), 10 TDs (3 rush, 7 pass), 72 first downs, 3 INTs, 20 sacks.

2010 Frogs: 230 yards per game (96 rush, 134 pass) 8 TDs (2 rush, 6 pass), 74 first downs, 4 INTs, 16 sacks.

So that whole, “When they lose Daryl Washington and Jerry Hughes, the defense is going to fall apart” thing? Well, apparently that does not apply here. Pretty awesome to see just how dominant we have been for the billionth year in a row. The run defense isn’t there – and those 2009 numbers are extremely impressive when you consider they had already faced Air Force and CJ Spiller at that point – but everything else is about the same. The numbers will shift a bit after playing Air Force and Utah, but so far, so good. Also, totally forgot we had EIGHT sacks against Virginia in the opener last year.

Edge – Push.

Special Teams:

Meh?

The biggest difference here is going to be that Jeremy Kerley has not returned 2 punts for scores thus far and his 15.2 yard average is not the 17.1 it was last year. Still, he’s given us great field position all year, and brought us back from being on life support in the SMU game. But on the bright side, Ross has made all 4 of his field goal attempts and only missed one PAT; at this point last year he was 6/7 and had missed a PAT. Kevin Sharples has clearly improved, as has Anson Kelton – we don’t need stats to tell us that. But still, the big return has just not been there yet. With half a season to go, I’d say the odds are in favor of it happening, but we probably are too greedy to expect Jeremy Kerley to do It each and every week. But, I'd say the ground we've made up in all three aspects of our kicking game balance the two out.

Edge – Push.

So while I copped out and ‘pushed’ quite a few of the head to head matchups, I don’t know who would argue with me either way. This team is just as good as last year’s in almost every aspect, save run defense and returns, and has actually out-performed them for the most part. Like I said though, the meat of the schedule comes now and the truth will come out for everyone to see, but you have to like our chances going forward. The worst Cougar team in recent memory comes to town this weekend, so let’s see if we can’t keep this train rolling. Go Frogs.

BYU Hate Round 2: Spitblood Provo Trip


Too easy...

I’m sure most of you have heard Sir Wesley, WWHD, Bucknasty, or myself vent plenty already about how horrible Provo and the BYU fan base is. However, there may be some newer readers who aren’t familiar with the tales of our 2009 trip in Mormon country, and I’ll try to add in a few details that may not have been mentioned before due to the black spot in my memory caused us draining a bottle of Barenjager in less than 30 minutes before the game started. So, please pardon me for being somewhat repetitive here, but I hate BYU so much and I want the world (spitblood world) to know it and bask in their hatred with me on Saturday afternoon. I’ll try to do this somewhat chronologically, so you can follow me along with every hateful step.

Friday Night

So Sir Wesley and I land in Salt Lake City, which actually seemed like a pretty sweet place that wasn’t entirely overrun by Mormon fun haters as there appeared to be somewhat of a nightlife scene there. We got to look around SLC for a while because we were awaiting the arrival of WWHD, who if I remember correctly was in the midst of a bender that consisted of work/party trips to both Vegas and San Francisco or something like that.

We finally arrived in Provo probably somewhere around 10pm. I really don’t remember the times, but we’ll go with that. Our first instinct was to find a Wal-Mart and get supplies to make signs for College Gameday the next morning. We found the Wal-Mart, but we underestimated the sober dorkiness of the BYU student fan base as it seemed that half of the student body was roaming the “Arts and Crafts” section of that store. Not only that, but these nerds were so filled with pep and chatter, decked out in BYU gear, with face paints, blue wigs, pom poms, etc the night before the game! They were so peppy you would’ve sworn they were all jacked up on Mountain Dew, but we all know better. They were high on life, because they’ve been brainwashed. Needless to say, we got our supplies and hit the exits pretty quick, and they hung around Wal-Mart on a Friday night until it was lights out at 10:30 for them.

Saturday (A.M)

Corso=Right. Herbstreit=Wrong.

5 a.m.- Enter Bucknasty and female bucknasty. Waking up this early was hard, but we had to do it if we wanted to get into College Gameday which starts at 8am MT. We wander down to their location, which is conveniently very close to our Holiday Inn Express, and see a line a few thousand people long going down the street full of uppity Mormons anxiously awaiting gameday. Fuck. We are NEVER going to make it in there. We woke up early for nothing. Not only that, but some jack ass dressed like Larry The Cable Guy in a coonskin cap starts mocking us for being from Texas, asking if we rode our horses in. We are quick (but not as quick as we should’ve been because it was so early) to remind him that we go to school in the city, not some rural butt-fuck of an incest ridden community like Provo. I guess Real God, not Joseph Smith, felt bad for us at that point, as he guided us to some Frog fans who had spots in the front of the line. We get up in line next to them, GET THE POLICE CALLED OVER BECAUSE WE WERE “CUTTERS”, but since we lie and Mormons don’t, we lied our way into saying we’d been there the whole time and keep our spots. Christianity 1, Mormons 0.

We get inside the Gameday gates after the gatekeepers take such signs as “Joseph Smith Proved Nothing”, and “spitbloodtcu.com”. Can’t advertize. Then we realize we’ve got about 2 hours of standing, surrounded by mormons, completely sober, before the show even starts. Around this time, Bucknasty gets attacked by 2 gentle mormons who shred his sign “Forget Missionary, we do it Froggystyle”. WWHD then proceeds to ask the raging BYU fans “Are you drunk?” Their rebuttal- “Are you ugly?” What are you supposed to say to that? Damn intolerant Mormons; at least they didn’t get the “Where’s the Beer?” sign, our last remaining sign. BYU police come up to us, ask Bucknasty what they want him to do with the attackers, and Bucknasty says something along the lines of, “nothing, but if they do it again I’m gonna beat their asses.” Clearly not the expected response from the Mormon crowd, but still damn funny. That just about covers anything interesting that happened at the Gameday set, but on our walk back, we cross the street illegally and have a group of about 10 BYU fans scream and yell at us for Jaywalking. FREAKING JAYWALKING!!! I mean, there is being by the book, and then there is just being a bunch of complete tools. You would’ve thought we were had stolen a purse from an old lady and beat her and left her for dead the way they yelled at us.

Saturday (P.M.)

Starts with lunch at TGI-Friday’s, which I’m pretty sure was the only place in Provo that served alcohol, and conveniently shared a parking lot with our hotel. Drink there with lunch, a lot. Non Mormon/trashy hot waitress is impressed with us- everything about us. We promise to come see her after the game. Our next move was to find a liquor store in Provo, or around Provo. That was like trying to find Bin Laden. We got there though, and bought liquor “sneak treats” for the game, as well as a bottle of Barenjager. For those who haven’t had Barenjager, proceed with caution. Down that, as well as our remaining beers in the hotel room while watching Tennessee CHOKE against Bama. So, we head to the stadium (that has ZERO tailgate scene by the way) with flasks in tow. Entering the stadium BYU fans all around are telling us how impossible it is to get liquor into their stadium. So I put my flask in my pocket, hand the guy at the gate my ticket, and make it in unscathed. Real tough on booze there, BYU.

Game-Time

First instinct while inside the stadium is to find the concession stand, buy a coke, dump half of it out, and fill it with whiskey. Here’s the catch- there is no coke. Only diet caffeine free coke. Oh well, it does the trick. Game commences, we start the slaughter, the booze, rage, and sweet taste of victory become very abundant early in the game, and the “undercover cop” in front of us wearing a skin tight black T and more hair product than Pauly D turns around, pulls his badge necklace out, and threatens to throw Bucknasty in jail. For what, being too good at football? For being too loud and rude while we are crushing your hopes and dreams? Either way, he had a badge, so we toned it down. Later that game, when it’s REALLY ugly and BYU fans begin to openly resent the fact that there are TCU fans there drunk and celebrating, they start to fire insults our way. At one point, walking down the aisle with Bucknasty’s white woman, some sk8er boi yells out “nice mom jeans!” I automatically assume this is directed at me, because I am wearing jeans. In hindsight this could have very easily been yelled at the female I was walking with. We will never know, but I go up and decide to tell these guys they are just bitter because we are beating their asses so badly, etc. They don’t seem to like that, because at the end of the game while WWHD and I are waiving an enormous TCU flag in victory, I sarcastically remark “good game” as they walk by us and towards the exit. The guy freaks out and grabs me by the neck in a typical sober Mormon rage blackout. I laugh my way through this entire process as older BYU fans pull this guy away and apologize. That’s pretty much how the game ended.

Post Game TGI-Fridays

So, as promised we revisit our favorite woman in Provo, TGI-Erin, the slutty hot waitress. Not much interesting happens there, but we were told by TGI-Erin and the Friday’s bartender, a BYU student (hypocritical), that we have drank more alcohol at that restaurant than anyone else ever had before. SCOREBOARD! Longevity was quite a factor as well though, since we calculated that we spent close to 8 hours there.

Basically what I am getting at is this: BYU fans are childish. They argue and pick fights like a 12 year old would. They get mad at you for “cutting” and jaywalking, call you ugly, make uninformed jokes about how everyone in Texas is a stupid redneck, and basically anything else a kid would do. They are sore losers, bitter fans, and if there is one thing that being around BYU fans has taught me over the years more than anything it is that they are remarkably intolerant and hypocritical. Now one could say that everything I have said about BYU is intolerant, and I’ll agree. I don’t deny that, but these people preach how accepting and great they are, but in reality they are just like any other football fans or human beings, except they don’t get to drink in victory or drown their sorrows in defeat. My guess is they just go home and either A) beat the shit out of their pet, B) play a bunch of war video games online so they get to kill, or C) go from house to house and Anger-Bang each one of their wives. Go to Hell, BYU, I hate you.

For Your Entertainment.


So, I think we can all agree that Mormonism is, for lack of a better word, just plain silly. Like, sillier than that religion that Tom Cruise and John Travolta are peddling. But, just like most silly things, just when you thought it couldn’t get any sillier… it does. After seeing this video, I wasn’t really sure how to give it the proper treatment on this here blog. Do I simply post it and let it speak for itself? Do I give a big, scathing manifesto about why Mormonism is a big sham? Do I take the high road and not post it at all (hahahahahahahaha)?

Well, somewhat yes to the first two, but a definite no to the last one. But no, I thought the best way to go about this is to use the method enacted by Bill Simmons in his least readable entries and do a running diary of my reactions to the video, with lots of snarky commentary, but far less references to the 1986 Boston Celtics or the Karate Kid.

Keep in mind, this video is clearly intended for CHILDREN. Away we go…

(0:05): Buffalo does not take kindly to these proclamations regarding trillions of other planets.

(0:10): So now I have to operate under the assumption that Mormons are, in fact, human? This troubles me. Also, if these gods were human BEFORE they were gods, then where did they come from? /chicken, egg’d.

(0:20): A spirit child? Looks like a pretty regular baby to me. Not real? Mom’s rack.

(0:31): Ok, Ok… so he was born and laying on that bed in front of a pretty normal looking lady… then he had to be born again to get a human body? What was the body he had before? Are we really just looking at a butterfly larvae here?

(0:33): “Through obidence to Mormon teaching…” Umm bullshit. Did you see that wistful look in his eyes? Homeboy totally got raped by that old man.

(0:45): I actually don’t have anything negative to say… Did you see that buffet of flesh Elohim has spread before him? Nice work. Although is a bit troublesome that they all look like they could be his daughter…

(1:00): Endless celestial sex, eh? Note to Harvey Unga – you blew your excuse!

(1:15): As if you couldn’t tell which son was going to be the favorite… Jesus has the hair and beard to match poppa bear there… Lucifer never had a chance with that little chinstrap and Bieber-do.

(1:35): Did you see that anger? Looks like GP in the locker room at halftime. Also, did they see how much banging Elohim go to do as a god? No way those guys turn down that opportunity.

(1:40): Jesus apparently thinks Lucifer is a bit of a comedian. Also, freedom of choice? Isn’t Jesus’ whole deal, at least according to law abiding Christians, pre-destination which is kind of the opposite of that? Whoa, that was kind of theologic of me… back to the schaudenfreude.

(2:05): There’s this ad in the bathroom of my gym that reads, “Too bad there’s no work out for growing your hair back.” Um, apparently joining forces with Lucifer does the job, so long as you don’t mind the horns that come with it.

(2:19): Ummm, I don’t think I have to say much more about this… but holy shit! Did you hear the anger in the narrator’s voice?

(2:35): Coming from experience, that really is how everyone from Provo looks. Lots of talent in those parts, too bad they don't know how to use it.

(2:40): Ok, so Elohim – who is the Mormon god apparently – was also Adam, the first human who doomed mankind to sin? This seems counterproductive to his climbing of the corporate ladder…

(2:52): If you look at those dimensions, Elohim is at least 9-10 feet tall. Manute Bol, you’ve been served.

(3:00): Do I even need to dispute the issues with Elohim HAVING SEX with the VIRGIN Mary? Where is Chris Anderson when you need him?

(3:15): Just so many problems here.

(3:35): So Jesus is really Christopher Columbus? Perhaps more than banks and postal workers should celebrate his holiday… and there was no Mormonism until 1492? A few thousand years late to the party, eh? /scoreboard’d

(3:40): So you’re Jesus, and you’ve been crucified and resurrected, and you have a chance to go hang out in heaven for eternity with your dad, or you can go to Oklahoma and hang out with the savages… which path would YOU choose?

(4:05): Can someone explain to me what happened? That escalated rather quickly, wouldn’t you say? At least the fight scene in Anchorman had some humorous context thrown in, no?

(4:20): His name in MORONi… does it need to be any clearer?

(4:30): When you’re trying to make a point about the guy who more or less founded your religion… perhaps you shouldn’t introduce him as a someone “known for his tall tales.” Just sayin’… that’s like Baylor introducing Scott Drew to NCAA investigators as their basketball coach known as a “texter of mass messages.”

(4:20): Wow, that concrete hole held up really well over 1400 years. Perhaps I should’ve hired Moroni to repair the foundation on my house?

(4:55): So all Christian creeds are an abomination, eh? And they wonder why most everyone frowns upon their beliefs… Also, again, why describe the doctrines as “peculiar” if you want folks to believe it? These guys need some better marketing tactics… I hear Sterling Cooper Draper Price is looking for opportunities…

(5:12): Hahahaha, I love how they have a question market next to Coca Cola. “What is this magical, syrupy substance that quenches the thirst and sharpens the mind?! Surely it must be from the devil!”

(5:16): Uh, what’s going on in that bathtub, bro? Those guys watching make me think Eyes Wide Shut may have been a pitch for Mormonism.

(5:30): So Elohim spent his early days banging a bunch of celestial sluts, then got to come to earth as the first man and help start the population boom, then he deflowered the Virgin Mary… and now he’s back in heaven judging your eternal soul? So… is Ron Jeremy viewed as a prophet to these people?

(5:45): So Mulder was right, we are NOT alone in the universe! I have a feeling these visitors aren’t as benevolent as ET… probably because they aren’t allowed to gorge themselves on M&Ms.

(6:00): And when they start telling me that I’m supposed to assume that the corpse of Max Hall living in Jerry Hughes’ cleats is going to be a god one day, then you know it’s the right time to end your video.

To be fair, these are the beliefs of a very small handful of Mormons and the ideas expounded upon here have been publicly neglected by the current version of the church, hence the title of Banned Mormon Video… but whew boy, when the creator of this video gets to the Pearly Gates, he’s gon’ have some ‘splain to do.

College Football Pick 'em Update -- Week 6

I wish there were a way to kick people out of a fantasy league/pick 'em pool for gross non-participation. I understand at this point they are just padding to make my position look better. Instead of being near the bottom, I'm in the second quartile, the third quintile or the 33rd runner-up. However you want to spell loser, I'm it. These people that forget to make their picks make me look smarter than I really am. What really grinds my gears, is that those that forgot to make their picks this week got 11 points for picking South Carolina to win. This week, 14 people forgot to make their picks. I hate that these 14 got this game right, even if it is by default. My consolation is that these 14 scored 23 points, the low of the week.

BTW - Kudos to delemond for being the only person to pick Wyoming to beat TCU. Double kudos for making it your 11-point confidence pick. It's a ballsy move, but so was Pickett's Charge, and we all know how that turned out.

Your winners for Week 6:

Rank Selection W-L Pts
1 Trcapps's picks 9-2 58
2 wwhd's picks 8-3 56
3 olboyroy14's picks 8-3 53
4 gtgossett's picks 7-4 52
4 BayouCity Frog 9-2 52
4 Big Pussy 7-4 52
7 spitpurple's picks 8-3 51
7 creeperfrog's picks 7-4 51
9 Turkish Gold 7-4 50
9 Hornedfrog1982's picks 7-4 50
9 tawilson007's picks 7-4 50

Your overall Leaders:
Rank Selection W-L Pts
1 TN2TXtony's picks 54-11 333
2 THE FINCH 50-15 332
3 wwhd's picks 52-13 331
3 Hornedfrog1982's picks 53-12 331
5 geezerfrog's picks 52-13 329
6 gtgossett's picks 50-15 328
7 Trcapps's picks 48-17 326
8 Big Pussy 53-12 323
9 FrogFan1986's picks 52-13 322
10 skeezerjmh's picks 50-15 320

No Thursday games in this weeks slate of games. Go make your picks here.

'Go Rangers' for sure, but 'Go Frogs' much more

Like many of you, last night was a very special night for me. The Texas Rangers were the first sports team I can remember following, and I have stuck with them through times both thick and (mostly) thin. It's been a mostly painful experience to be a Rangers fan for this long, so to see them finally break through and win a postseason series, especially being on the road in a do-or-die game, was pretty magical. The fact that they'll now take on the Yankees for the chance to go to the World Series is incredibly surreal, and I'm very much looking forward to the series.

I was pretty let down when I checked the schedule for the ALCS and saw that Game 2 will be played in Arlington on Saturday at the EXACT SAME TIME that TCU is taking on BYU at Amon G. Carter. Two of my favorite teams playing important games at the same time...that's a tough decision, right?

Wrong. As much as I love the Rangers, let's be clear about something. This is Texas, and college football is a religion. It will suck to miss watching Game 2, but the Frogs need me (and YOU!!!) in the stands to create the atmosphere that a Top 5 team should have as they shoot for a 7-0 start.

So even if you're a life-long, die-hard Rangers fan like myself, get your fill of baseball Friday night during Game 1 and then stick with the Frogs Saturday.

Morning Dump

Football:

Patterson talks BYU at weekly presser gofrogs.com

Dalton receives honor from Manning Award committee gofrogs.com

#4 TCU must be on the lookout for ugly underdog game Dallas Morning News

TCU wants door to hit BYU on way out ESPN Dallas

TCU-BYU preview CBS Sports

TCU's Patterson backs off his disdain for BYU's independence plan Salt Lake Tribune

Bronco focused on defense and TCU Provo Daily Herald

BYU practice report: another 'workmanlike' workout Salt Lake Tribune

BYU backs run Cougars to victory Deseret News


Basketball:

TCU men's hoops expects better matchups Star-Telegram