Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Post-BYU game entertainment

Austin's Whalers, who rocked Fort Worth after the Baylor game and have a confusing name, have decided that one Hate Week just isn't enough. So they'll be back in town to throw copies of Under the Banner of Heaven at BYU fans and then play a set at The Aardvark after the win. There are conflicting reports as to whether or not they'll bring any cupcakes.

BYU Hate Round 1: The Mormon Mission.

Mission Accomplished, Jerry.

I like any other human being with a soul (although the existence of my soul could be debated), believe mission work is a great thing. As much as we make fun of the Tim Tebow’s and Colt McCoy’s of the world, what the do is good for man kind and helpful to less fortunate people in third world countries. Tim Tebow has assisted with his father’s orphanage in The Philippines as well as a bunch of other mission work in the area. Colt McCoy took a week long mission trip to Peru, giving kids clothes and other necessities to make life easier. Basically, mission work is good. Going out and building a hospital in Honduras or giving immunizations in Tanzania is very beneficial (although Tim Tebow circumcising Filipino boys might be taking it a little too far, but I’ll stay away from that). But obviously this post isn’t to ramble on about the greatness of mission work and how much it benefits the world. Of course I have an ulterior motive…

Pretty sure this is VERY frowned upon...

Mormons, including BYU football players go on missions too…Mormon missions. These missions do not include the things mentioned above. These aren’t done in third world countries to improve their livelihood; houses aren’t built in low income areas of the United States by these people. The purpose of these missions is almost primarily dedicated to teaching the Gospel/getting people to convert to Mormonism. Now, I realize that conversion has been a goal of mission work since the beginning of time, but in most cases, there is usually some sort of assistance in return (i.e. I help you build a village-you teach Christianity type thing). I can’t wait to get called ignorant for what I am saying, and truthfully, I’m fairly ignorant on the topic, but what is done on Mormon missions that are beneficial to others? The majority of them, called proselytizing missionaries, go door to door on bicycles (they aren’t supposed to use their own private automobiles, which seems logical) teaching the gospel hoping to gain converts. That’s not so bad, is it? What the fail to tell you is that once you join the church, it is MANDATORY for you to donate 1/10 of your interest annually, to the Mormon Church if you want to reach the highest kingdom of Heaven. Basically, you get taxed annually to be a member.

So my point is this: while there is plenty of mission work, done by many different people from many different walks of life, that is good for humanity and beneficial to society, the purpose of the Mormon mission is primarily to generate revenue for the church. There is no give and take. It is a “we convert you, you give us money” approach. It should also be noted (for no other reason but to throw salt in the wound) that BLACKS WERE NOT ALLOWED TO DO MORMON MISSION WORK UNTIL 1978! I think Bear Bryant put blacks on his football team before you accepted black into your religion! Real classy, LDS. I’m sure that’s what God really wants. Well, maybe not God, but some chump named Joseph Smith...

CLEARLY post-1978.

Good riddance, BYU. Good riddance to you, your silly beliefs, and your pitiful excuse for a football team. I hate you more than anyone. I hate you so much that it makes Sir Wesley Willis look smitten with SMU. Take your propaganda elsewhere. I’ll be the one at the game Saturday, slugging down a caffeinated coke (gasp!) halfway filled with whiskey (double gasp!!) while laughing and cursing (heathen!!!) at your pitiful football team. I may even smoke a victory cigar (sinner!!!) and get laid in celebration (cue Mormon reader’s head exploding).

Attendance Watch: Sell Outs coming

While the crowd for this past weekend's game against Wyoming was pretty pathetic, at least it was pathetic by 2010 standards. The average attendance through three home games is still above 40,000, and the surge of momentum within the TCU fanbase looks to pick back up the next two weeks as Amon G. Carter should be sold out for both the BYU and Air Force games.

If you're generally the type of person that waits until game day to buy a ticket at the door, I would recommend a change in your routine for the next two weeks. Based on what is available when doing a quick search online, there are very few lower-level tickets remaining for the BYU game and the best seats in the upper deck have already been taken as well. Good seats are even scarcer for the Air Force game, since the Falcons ought to be coming to town ranked in the Top 25 for the Frogs' homecoming.

So before you end up without a ticket, or having to pay way above face value to a scalper, go get your tickets ASAP online and be done with it.

Morning Dump

Football (this week's game):

#4 TCU continues homestand against BYU gofrogs.com

Game 7: BYU at TCU byucougars.com

Still a long way to go, Bronco says Salt Lake Tribune

Can BYU's running game do it again? Deseret News

It's too soon to call BYU a running team Salt Lake Tribune

New linebackers work for BYU defense Deseret News

BYU happier but humble getting ready for TCU Provo Daily Herald

MWC News and Notes Sports Network

Football (other):

When it comes to the BCS, it's all about second place CBS Sports

Strength of Schedule: TCU vs. Boise State Dallas Morning News

What to watch for in BCS mess? These 10 games NBC Sports

Utah to wear new uniforms vs. TCU Deseret News

Oregon State receiver James Rodgers out for season Los Angeles Times

Other sports:

The past motivates TCU women's basketball team Star-Telegram

TCU men's hoops presents dinner at Daniel-Meyer gofrogs.com