Friday, September 10, 2010

Pre-Game with Crazy Dave

Frog Talk / Ask-a-Frog: The Psych Ward Poo-Poo Game

FKA Schultzhater: So any chance we pull an “Ole Miss” this week?

Disciples of GP: One time I had to do community service at a psych ward for an entire month. Getting up at 7am to deal with strung out crazy people is difficult, especially because you have to be on your toes as crazy people can punch you, spit on you, and throw poop. I didn’t particularly want to clock in and go to work, but I REEEEEALLY didn’t want poop on my face…or in this case, my team

FKA Schultzhater: Poop on our season?

Disciples of GP: What I’m saying is Tennessee Tech is located in Cookeville- ie Crazyville. Crazy people are mental midgets that aren’t capable of much and you should be able to dominate them…but mental people can’t be underestimated because they will throw poop on your entire season if you do. We need to show these crazy people that we are crazier by raping the hottest patient in the psych ward and throwing poop on everyone else.

So what did you think of our win? Anything from Saturday stand out?

FKA Schultzhater: What the fuck was that whale-cougar doing on the sidelines – I am shocked that we had such good ratings

Disciples of GP: She must really “interview” well

FKA Schultzhater: If whale-cougar showed up for an interview with Fox Sports she would be laughed, poked, prodded, and possibly harpooned for being a whale-cougar – I need a new job, I could have found a better sideline reporter in 30 minutes.

Disciples of GP: Me?

FKA Schultzhater: Take Candy…

She was my favorite from my days of lurking in clubs off I-35 – she was everything that you could want her to be- smart, sexy, charming, and totally into me– that woman knows what men want more than Erin fucking Andrews - she would be “Snookie” famous after one game, and she’d do it for $20.

Disciples of GP: So….you’re proposing hiring strippers as sideline reporters?

FKA Schultzhater: She had me convinced that I was superman, that she was in law school, and that she'd only had two lovers her whole life...I think she could hold her own

Disciples of GP: Isn’t that kind of tacky and degrading to the game?

FKA Schultzhater: Reality TV is tacky, and has been degrading our children's minds for 5 years now – if it’s all about ratings...a stripper sideline reporter is genius and you know it.

Disciples of GP: You know Mack Brown is from Cookeville?

FKA Schultzhater: Yellowteeth…

Disciples of GP: Prediction?

FKA Schultzhater: 55-10, but I hope GP keeps it interesting for 4-quarters by letting our 3rd teamers rape the poop throwers.

Morning Dump