Alright, so now that signing day is officially two weeks complete, I'll finally close up the book on it. Really, I've just already taken it this far so I may as well finish it. I'm diligent and thorough like that. And, here to help me out in this final chapter is renowned analyst/therapist, Dr. Tobias Funke!
Elisha Olabode. Safety, 5'10", 170. Cedar Hill (Cedar Hill HS).
One of the later additions to the 2010 recruiting class, Olabode is a local product out of Cedar Hill, a team that was favored to win state heading into the playoffs until falling to eventual champion Abilene - can I get a what what, lenetownfizzle? It does seem like we have a lot of potential safeties in this class - not to mention last year's - but with the 4-2-5, I suppose that's an alright problem to have. Elisha is a strong tackler and isn't afraid to light someone up; I suppose growing up with a name like Elisha will bring the animosity out in a man. He also has great leaping ability and while he may not be an interception machine - and be honest, who on our team would you consider such a thing? - he's more than capable of going up over receivers who have several inches on him and breaking up passes. I could easily see him being a free safety for the Frogs over his career.
Dr. Funke's words of encouragement to male athletes who have been christened with names better suited for their female counterparts - "For there's a man inside me, and only when he's finally out, I can walk free of pain."
Blake Roberts. Linebacker, 6'4", 225. Tyler (Tyler Lee HS).
Unlike Olabode, Blake Roberts has been with the Frogs practically since day one, has never wavered in his commitment and, despite him attending one of the rival high schools from my day, I'm glad to have him. The best thing about Roberts is, obviously, his size. To be that big in high school is rare, and I bet the strength coaches are already fired up about how much bulk they can add to Roberts large frame. The 45th ranked linebacker in the state, Roberts packs a lot more punch than his pedigree would suggest. He may not knock holes in opponents souls like fellow classmate Jonathan Anderson, but Roberts will certainly make runners think twice about taking him head on. He can also fly for a white guy - 4.5 speed - and accelerates at the point of impact which will increase his chances of causing fumbles or disrupting catches. Also, with his height and edge rushing abilities, it wouldn't be a huge surprise to see the staff give him a shot at defensive end before he settles into an established role. He's going to be a fun one to watch develop.
Dr. Funke's advice to Blake Roberts, who is not only an aspiring football player, but an aspiring filmmaker as well (alright, so that was entirely fabricated in order to serve my end game - "Well, I've always wanted to remake Annie Hall. Except, I wouldn't want to get in bed with a green producer like a Sofia Coppola, though. Oh, but give me an old pro like a Robert Redford. Oh, I'd jump into bed with him in a second. And I wouldn't just lie there, (Blake Roberts), if that's what you're thinking."
Michael Thompson. C, 6'4", 315. Farmersville (Farmersville HS).
Already one of GP's favorites from the new class, Michael Thompson brings tremendous size to an offensive line that is in need of some capable backups, not to mention replacements for all of the seniors who will be departing after this season. His stated position is at center, and he could do a lot worse than learning for a year under All-Conference performer Jake Kirkpatrick who learned from former AC Center Blake Schlueter. He's very strong - benches 400 and squats 600 - and was all over just about every All-3A list for the entire state, despite being ranked 18th at his position. I'm sure Michael will take a red shirt season this year, but already sitting at 315 pounds, and with a year of strength work under his belt, he could easily challenge for a starting role in 2011.
Dr. Funke's outlook on signing offensive linemen to your recruiting class - " Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up."
Nykiren Wellington. OT, 6'6", 275. San Antonio (Holmes HS).
Wellington arrives in Fort Worth after considering Utah and Colorado and, based on his above picture, the kid's head is in the right place. The obvious given here is, standing 6'6", Nykiren has the size and long arms that coaches look for in an offensive tackle. He's not the behemoth that Marcus Cannon is, but let's hope he skews more towards that mountain rather than our former, underachieving one, Nic Richmond.
Dr. Funke's impression of how Utah and Colorado felt when Wellington bolted them for Fort Worth - "Oh, come on. Don't leave your uncle T-bag hanging."
Kevin White. CB, 5"10", 170. Round Rock (Stony Point, HS).
Rounding out the 2010 class is Kevin White, a cornerback out of the outlet mall and chain restaurant capital of Texas, Round Rock. An all-5A first teamer, White fielded offers from MWC schools Wyoming and Air Force before deciding on the Frogs, which was probably the least complex decision he's made in his entire life, preceding, "should I breathe today?" With our lack of cornerback depth, if White is able to produce quickly, he could see some playing time in the fall, although with Travaras Battle-Smith already on campus, he's going to be several steps behind. Still, the more capable corner backs we have, the better because it's definitely an area of need.
No set up, just a hilarious damned quote - "Although, if I may, let me take off my assistant’s skirt and put on my Barbra Streisand in The Prince of Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit."
Bonus Quote!! - "Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. I'm not gonna cry about my pa. I'm gonna buy an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? You can keep them bottled up, Michael, but they will come out. Sometimes in the most unexpected-Hey, where the fuck are my hard-boiled eggs?"
So that brings us to the end of our 2010 class intros, although based on the lack of comments it looks like most of you got your fill in a more timely manner from Rivals. I'd like to thank Dr. Tobias Funke for being here not only to shed some light on out latest batch of Horned Frogs, but also to further alienate our readers who may not be familiar with most of my humor. But, in any case, I hope I at least inspired one of you to become excited about a player you may not have been familiar with. We have less than 200 days to go. Keep fighting the good fight, Spitblooders, and soldier on through the abyss known as baseball season.