Thursday, November 4, 2010

Players to Watch Week 10: Utah Utes

Judging from how much you’ve heard about Jordan Wynn over the course of the week and pretty much since last year’s meeting with regards to Utah football, one would think that their offense goes as Jordan Wynn goes. Unfortunately that is not the case. In fact, Wynn missed a couple of games and Terrance Cain, another one of those QB’s that has been around the MWC seemingly FOREVER, filled in admirably and obviously led them to wins. The reality is that the Utah offense is loaded with players that could potentially impact the game, but hopefully wont. Admittedly I know a little less about their defense, which hasn’t been too shabby either, ranking in the top 10 of many defensive categories but of course behind the Frogs in pretty much all things defense. One player NOT to watch is scrub-special teams-hit man-smack talking extraordinaire Greg Bird. I’ve already addressed him and his mediocrity. 14 tackles- nuff said. So here we go with the Utah players to watch both offensively and defensively, and perhaps most importantly, on special teams.

Shaky Smithson (WR/PR/KR, Sr. 5’11 202, #1)

The New Kerley???

Smithson is the team’s 3rd leading receiver with 234 yards and 3 TD’s and he’s averaging 18 yards per catch, and with leading receiver DeVonte Christopher ailing and questionable with a knee injury, I think we can expect to see the ball in Smithson’s hands a lot on offense. However, Smithson’s greatest impact is not on offense- it’s on special teams. Smithson has been better, way better, than Jeremy Kerley this year as a punt returner. Think Jeremy Kerley last season in the punt return department except probably even better and more explosive than that. He’s got 2 returns for TD this season and leads the nation in punt return yardage with 560, 3 shy of breaking Kerley’s conference record from a year ago. So yeah, fight me on it if you want, tell me how great Kerley is, but the truth is this season Smithson is better on special teams and it’s not even close. Sorry Kerley, you’ve been dethroned as MWC special teams Jesus. If it makes you feel any better though, Smithson has been pretty middle of the road on kickoff returns with no TD’s and an average of 24 per return. Another good thing for TCU is that, well, we don’t punt. Like ever. And when we do punt, Kelton has been pretty good at knocking them inside the 20 or hanging them up long enough to be fair caught. Let’s hope all those trends continue.

Shaky's old crew.

On a more personal note, because it’s funny to delve into people’s personal lives and make judgments based on nothing at all, Shaky is from Baltimore. He went to Frederick Douglass High School, and he was featured in the HBO documentary “Hard Times at Douglass High”. Douglass High is located in West Baltimore, so one can only assume that Shaky was part of the Barksdale crew from The Wire and probably went to middle school Dookie, Randy, and Naymon Brice or he used to slang herrr-on down in the low-rises with Poot and Deangelo. Sorry for The Wire tangent. It’s over now. I also find it humorous that he wanted to escape the struggle that is West Baltimore and chose to attend community college in…East L.A. Seriously though, Shaky worries me and is a freak talent, and he’s got street cred coming out of his dreds, so I hope we can shut him down. It might be a huge key to our success.

Chaz (yes, Chaz) Walker (LB, Jr. 5’11 218, #32)

Chaz Walker

The 5th Beatle

A former walk-on, Chaz is now the team’s leading tackler with 61 and also 2nd on the team in tackles for loss with 6, and has recorded 1 sack on the season. Chaz seemingly came out of nowhere this year to have a very productive season because he only had 30 career tackles coming into the season. There’s not really too much doubt in my mind, however, that if some guy named Chaz tries to match up with Ed Wesley in the open field or any of our number of slot receivers, he is going to get owned. Only 14 of his 61 tackles have been solo, so he a) sucks in the open field or b) is an over-hustler who jumps on piles to make it look like he matters. Good luck with that, Rudy.

Master of Karate

Once again, it’s time to get more personal with these guys. Chaz’z dad played at BYU, so he is no doubt a God hating magic underpants loving fanny bandit, and his dad has also probably disowned him considering how much those two schools hate each other. He also really enjoys karate and won a karate state championship in high school. I guess that helps explain his little Asian boy/1960’s Beatles hairdo. Maybe at College Gameday they can do a feature on him and Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and make them have a karate showdown. My money is on Mac, because this guy comes off as a big vagina to me.

9 comments:

Army Frog Fan said...

Justin Bieber is their leading tackler!?!

Lyle Lanley said...

Yes, but who is Chaz's favorite Phillies player?

jésus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jésus said...

The fact that he run with the "Low Rise Crew" just turned me into a Utes fan. He is gonna fuck all yalls country niggas up.

Lyle Lanley said...

Yeah but Utah is Bodie and we saw him eating lunch with McNulty

shortnkerley's said...

Pretty sure he didn't actually run with the low rise crew. I was referencing a fictional show, but ok Jesus.

LENEtown Fizzle said...

i thought the finch was justin beiber

shortnkerley's said...

Didn't everyone in the low rise crew die?
TCU=Marlo Stansfield.

THEFINCH said...

baby, baby, baby ohhh