Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Week 5 Opponent Hate: The Colorado State Rams

I'm betting your stadium will be that empty by the end of the first quarter, unless there is a String Cheese Concert at Red Rocks, in which case it will never fill up.

Colorado State is one of the biggest problems the MWC has. They don’t field a baseball team, their basketball team is insignificant (but so is ours), and their football team has been kicking our strength of schedule squarely in the crotch for the past year and a half. It’s the Colorado States of the world that really give the MWC a black eye as we try to fight for respect nationwide and hopefully somehow earn that elusive automatic qualifier bid, something that looks incredibly unlikely with the departures of Utah and BYU. So I blame you, Colorado State, for Utah and BYU leaving the conference. Well, you, New Mexico, UNLV, and Joseph Fucking Smith.

After winning their last 3 games in 2008, including a bowl win over Fresno State, they finished 7-6 and looked to be moving in the right direction under first year coach Steve Fairchild. Then they began the 2009 season by knocking off rival Colorado in Boulder, sneaking by Weber State at home, and then knocking off WAC wannabe contender Nevada. So there they sat, following 3 straight wins in 2008 with 3 wins to begin 2009, clearly a team headed in the right direction and ready to step up into at least Air Force status in the MWC. Then the shit hit the fan…hard.

They followed their 3-0 start in 2009 by reeling off 9 straight losses. Yes, that includes losing the NEW MEXICO, the most losery of all the loser bottom of the barrel MWC teams. Yet somehow, Steve Fairchild kept his job. So you figure CSU might come out this season motivated and ready to turn it around after blowing it last season, and Fairchild might coach with some sense of urgency knowing his job is on the line this year, right? Wrong. They started this season 0-3, extending their losing streak to 12 games, which makes them New Mexico type bad. They put up 19 points in their first 3 games, including a 51-6 prison raping at the hands of soon to be MWC member but current WAC foe Nevada. They finally ended that epic losing streak by knocking of the powerhouse Idaho, 36-34.

Now the Rams get into conference play for the rest of the season, which they were swept in last year, so once again the outlook isn’t so rosy for Fairchild and his underachieving squad. On the bright side, they have New Mexico at home, so I’d like to hope they can pull that one off. Personally, I don’t think Fairchild should make it through this entire season, but hey, we are in a conference that allowed Mike Locksley to get another season at New Mexico following their shit storm of a season last year, so you never know. Maybe he has immunity since he is a CSU alum.

Basically all I am saying is that I hate Colorado State because they do nothing but underachieve in every aspect of life. Maybe it’s the lazy, granola munching, dread-locking, hacky-sacking, hemp jewelry wearing, noodle dancing, rocky mountain pothead mentality in them, but I can’t see why this program has taken such a turn towards the gutter. We need teams like Colorado State, and the rest of the bottom of our conference, to step up and at least be a formidable and respectable opponent if the MWC is to move forward. Unfortunately for us, Air Force, and next year Boise, these teams are sucking the life out of the MWC.

8 comments:

Texas Hammer said...

Maybe Bradleeeeeeeeeee Van Pelt has some eligibility left.

buffalo said...

from what ive heard of csu, they are not like the boudler kids (ie potheads from cali). they are a more rural, almost aggie-styled fan.

shortnkerley's said...

yeah, that's probably the case, but i wanted to stick with the stereotype of a Colorado native just for hate purposes.

SuperSweet HornedFrog said...

have to disagree buffalo.....hung out there one night on the way to the wyoming game and we partied with a bunch of hippy chicks and rode bikes to the bars and puffed trees and drank heady micro brews..most of the peope there seemed more cali pothead than A&M douche from what i saw

Friend O' The Frog said...

Having lived there for a short stint the crowd is pretty heady; crunchy; dread-locked; etc.... but they do, however, sell crunchy gnar gnar heady micro-brews in their football stadium, which seemed to be enough to persuade the hipsters to abandon their hackey sacks for a few hours and make it to their home games.

shortnkerley's said...

I thought they had to stop allowing beer there due to student death or something. Don't quote me on that.

Texas Hammer said...

Crunchy; heady; gnar gnar...WTF?!?

Mankdog said...

Friend O' The Frog, did you learn English from Pauly Shore movies?