Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Pre-Game Opponent Hate Week 2: Tennessee Tech

This was probably after a UT fumble, or maybe towards then end of one of the many Kansas State losses.

I’m not going to lie. I thought it would be impossible to dig for reasons to hate Tennessee Tech. After all, they are D-II, or FCS, or whatever the hell they are calling the level of competition that beats Kansas and Ole Miss nowadays. Also, I am still struggling to get past the events of the past weekend and move forward, although this upcoming weekend of football is slated to be one of the most intriguing of the season. My mind hasn’t left Jerry World, except for the little part of my brain that is still trying to figure out how Virginia Tech could sleep-walk through the first quarter of their bout with Boise State last night. Fumbled snap, blocked punt, running into the punter AND late hit by the same guy on the same play. Seriously? Way to get your guys up for the big game, Turkey Neck Beamer.

Back to Tennessee Tech. I mean, how do you hate a program that just took a 44-3 beating from Arkansas where Ryan Mallet was pretty much flawless and Tennessee Tech was clearly no match? They are Tennessee Tech. They have never done anything of any significance, ever. Trust me. I looked. Their most famous alum is some country singer named Rodney Atkins. Sounds pretty redneck, but that’s not good enough because he isn’t relevant enough. So then I turned my attention to the coaching staff, and there it was…Head Coach Watson Brown, older brother of the most hated coach by this site and by most casual college football fans, Texas’s Mack Brown.

Bigger dumb face- Watson Brown or Kellen Moore?

Among Watson’s many accomplishments as a well deserving head coach:

  • In 12 seasons at UAB, spanning from ’95-’06, he managed a 62-74 record, with their first bowl appearance being in 2004.
  • Brown “resigned” from UAB following a 3-9 campaign in ’06 and took over at Tennessee Tech the following season.
  • Tennessee Tech’s athletic website claims he is “one of the best offensive minds in football.”
  • He is a member of the Tennessee sports Hall of Fame for his accomplishments as a Quarterback at Vanderbilt and many mediocre coaching gigs. Must take a lot to get into that Hall.
  • He has never won a conference title or even a conference division.

Basically, what I am saying is that this guy has no business being a head coach. Not even at Tennessee Tech. Why not hire someone young with potential, not Mack Brown’s proven loser of a brother. In all honesty, Watson, I don’t have a problem with you. I just hate your brother, so I hate you by relation. You suck because your brother sucks. I hope you aren’t too much like your brother, because I won’t be able to handle watching you clap and nod with approval following every interception or blocked punt your team gives up on Saturday. Also, if (when) your team gets their asses handed to them Saturday, please don’t give the standard Mack Brown “well, we played our hearts out and we’ve got great kids from great families, but we just couldn’t pull it off today.” What I am saying is act the opposite of how your brother acts, don’t bitch and whine about every little thing that doesn’t go your way (because Mack does, and CLEARLY nothing goes poor little Texas’s way, ever), and I will like and respect you. But until then, I hate you.

Next week’s hate segment should be quite a bit more interesting and easier than this one with Baylor coming to town…

1 comment:

Bumblebeetuna said...

Just like the O'Shea brothers. I wonder if Tennessee Tech has the Ice Box playing for them?