Thursday, September 23, 2010

Players to Watch Week 4: The SMU Ponies

I hate picking players to watch for a team like SMU. They do a pretty good job of spreading the ball around and getting lots of guys touches, much like TCU, but obviously they aren’t nearly as efficient and bad ass as us. There’s WR Aldrich Robinson, who I feel has been at SMU since they were resurrected from the Death Penalty. Also, he was alongside former standout WR Emmanuel Sanders last season when Sanders so kindly “pump faked” throwing a roll of tape at me. In his defense, I was really drunk, annoying, and we were completely destroying them at this point. I tried to act that way last week against Baylor, but Sir Wesley and myself were chastised and told to “leave the heckling up to the students” by a student. I’ve never felt so old and unwelcome in our own stadium. Ouch. Anyways, there’s also QB Kyle Padron, the Southlake Carroll grad which undoubtedly means he bleached his hair on numerous occasions for their annual playoff run (do they still do that?). But honestly, their QB just isn’t as fun to harass unless his name is Bo Levi and he has a tat on his biceps that says “gunslinger”. That guy is a bigger doucher than B.J. Symons, the former Tech QB with the gelled frosted tips and upper-ear earrings. So I dug a little deeper this week, and here’s what I came up with…

Zach Line (Soph. RB, 6’1 235)

Glad TCU's white running back days are numbered.

Line is a big back, which I feel is a pretty rare thing in this type of system. However, he is very efficient when he gets the ball, averaging 7.7 ypc with 3 of the teams 4 rushing TD’s this year. He also averages 92 ypg, which is shocking to see in an offense such as SMU’s, but when you are ripping carries off at 7.7 per pop then that will happen. He’s not much of a receiving threat with only 7 catches, and something tells me this fatback wont be catching many shovel passes for big gains against the Frogs D tomorrow. Although Line’s rushing stats have been impressive, keep in mind it has been against such vaunted defenses such as Tech, UAB, and Washington State. The SMU athletic website is so God awful that I can only get the box score for the Washington State game, and not the other 2, but in that game Line went for 82 yards on 8 carries with no TD’s. I expect Line, who is from Michigan, to have a pretty quiet day for a few reasons: 1) He has never seen a defense, especially a run defense quite like this. 2) He’s a big, fat, slow, white man and unless your name is Toby Gerhart then that’s not going to work in major college football. 3) They are going to pass, even more than usual, because they will be trailing the entire game. So, basically what I’m saying is my offensive player to watch is going to have a very minimal impact on this game, but once the stadium clears out and we have access to the SMU sideline, maybe we can rip on him for believing in himself and also for believing in the idea of an affective white running back in college football.

Margus Hunt (Soph. DE, 6’8, 272)

Do you think he'll freak out if we hold up lighters everytime their on defense???

Margus is from Karksi-Nuia, Estonia. ESTONIA! Where the Hell did June Jones find this mongoloid? The only cool thing to ever come out of Estonia was Link from Encino Man (or so they said…). From now on, and throughout the rest of his playing career at SMU, I think we should refer to him as “Link”, although I don’t think Link will get it. Anyways, Link blocked SEVEN field goes last year, and NCAA record. Maybe this guy is a caveman after all. His arms must be incredibly long to block that many kicks. He was also award 2 of ESPN’s illustrious “helmet stickers” last year- probably by Lou Holtz, who subsequently spit all over the camera attempting say that he was from Karksi-Nuia, Estonia. He is also the current Junior world record holder in the discuss throw, and also competes in shot put. This guy is your stereotypical Eastern European monster meat head who probably dates women that closely resemble former TCU star Center Blake Schlueter. No offense, Blake. In all seriousness though, Link has 5 tackles, 1 for loss, a pass broken up, and yes, already a blocked kick this year. Watch out, Ross Evans. Good news is I don’t think Link has the athletic ability to make anything happen against Marcus Cannon. So once again, unless he blocks a kick, the player to watch will be insignificant, but a good one to verbally assault as long as he doesn’t have any heavy projectiles to launch your way, such as a helmet, a bench, a sideline fan, or even a teammate.


Lyle Lanley said...

Margus Hunt is a fucking beast. Seriously, in the "great athlete/frame but still figuring football out" scale, he blows Braylon Broughton out of the water.

Hopefully we never have to attempt a field goal on Friday, because it's not like Ross Evans is gonna keep that guy from weeheezing the ju-uuuice

Army Frog Fan said...

"ut Sir Wesley and myself were chastised and told to “leave the heckling up to the students” by a student. I’ve never felt so old and unwelcome in our own stadium. Ouch."

Maybe it's time to move to the other side of the stadium and join the "sit on your hands" crowd.

Seriously though, when in the hell was heckling reserved to the students?

D said...

never. and i don't think we'll be moving over to the west side picnic anytime soon.

shortnkerley's said...

Yeah that's what I didn't understand. We weren't saying anything terrible, we weren't cussing in front of children, we werent spilling whiskey all over people, we were simply just yelling and letting RGIII and company know how terrible their team was. It would be one thing if it were older alumni and I was crowding them or something, but this girl just wanted to be a bitch, and a bad fan.

Joe said...

If you guys weren't being offensive then just ignore that girl. Right now, TCU needs all the cheering it can get to keep this program relevant and in the national discussion. If the kids aren't smart enough to understand that, then ignore them and keep it up.

I just don't want to lose this week to the Ponys. If we fall to Utah, then I can deal with that - but I am worried about this being a trap game after how fired up the Frogs were last week. You know SMU is getting fired up for this game - I just hope we show up again and put this game away early.

Sir Wesley Willis said...

I think this team and Patterson in particular are past the "getting snuck up on" point. If we lose a game this year, it will be because we got beat, not because we weren't ready for it.

Hornedfrog1982 said...

I have been chewed out by an SMU sorority bitch at a Dallas Cowboys playoff game 30 years ago for cheering too loud and also thrown out of a TCU game 20 years ago because a friend I took got drunk and was yelling TCU pussy is the best on the west side stands. So to all of yor Spit Blood fans keep up the good work. I am proud to know you.

Bumblebeetuna said...

I made to poor decision to purchase my tickets on the sit on your hands side, due to not wanting to be in the sun.

Everybody in my section pretty much hates me and many have asked us to sit down, which we simply will not do.

Next year, sun or not, I'm switching sides.

buffalo said...

i sat in section x. dont judge me.