Friday, September 24, 2010

Frog Talk / Ask –A-Frog: The Dirty Needles on the Boulevard Game


Would you?

Disciples of GP: If SMU is so filthy wealthy, why can’t they buy a win today? Can’t they just bribe some refs or poison our team’s pre-game meal? Tonya Harding with middle class income got better results

FKA SchultzHater: Maybe they can’t afford it anymore??

Disciples of GP: I’m hearing this economy has really taken its toll on poor SMU, I saw a lot of 2007 entry level Mercedes while I was creep-stalking around campus the other day

FKA SchultzHater: Entry level ’07 models? Wow, they are losing on all ends right now- nobody even wants to go there anymore

TCU: 14,989 applicants for 1,821 spots
SMU: 8,354 applicants for 1,329 spots

Disciples of GP: Shocking, then there is no way around it-

SMU is officially poor


FKA SchultzHater: And they can’t buy a win from TCU

Disciples of GP: True, come to think of it, I did hear a few weeks ago that Highland Park High School was having a bake sale to raise money for their struggling neighbors to the east

FKA SchultzHater: I bet their students can’t even afford expensive drugs anymore, I heard the latest OD was on homemade meth manufactured by a student trying to pay his way through school

Disciples of GP: Shocking...do you mean to tell me on gameday I could probably score some cheap Mexican hash but there will be no chasing the dragon? What else should we expect for gameday?

FKA SchultzHater: Not sure, I mean their “brand new” stadium only cost $42 million to build, I heard they even have bums that live it...students have even started bringing weapons to games



Disciples of GP: I bet they even had to “bond it” like a public school ugh.....I like how we just oil and gassed ours....34 boosters and Texas oil money just gave the ‘bad economy’ a 100 million dollar fuck you...

What about the team?

FKA SchultzHater: Well they scored more points on Texas Tech than UT could last week...so they are probably better than UT...

Disciples of GP: Baylor could win the Big 12 this year...

FKA SchultzHater: Look, this team is legit, I hear they have an Olympian shot putter at Defensive End AND they declared a “Red Out” for Friday night...I still predict 49-13 though

Disciples of GP: What should we expect from the girls this week?

FKA SchultzHater: The girls are alarmingly hot but you must proceed with caution because SMU students only use the cheapest of drugs...now that SMU is broke and desperate...like most Third World countries AIDS is in play – partly from sharing needles to save money...but mostly because SMU guys like to combine street X with switch hitting

Disciples of GP: I’m wearing steel shank boots to the game so I don’t step on any gay AIDS needles while “Boulevarding”

FKA SchultzHater: While “Boulevarding” wrap it up....it has been a while since these lovely SMU girls have caught the whiff of legit trust fund royalty streams (or a man with a steady job)...make sure your weekend doesn’t go CRS: Cromartie (NFL) Rookie Season...7 kids, 6 moms, 5 states...

Disciples of GP: You’re really worried about pulling a CRS this weekend??

FKA SchultzHater: In simpler times (the Bush/Cheney era), you could feel confident an SMU co-ed didn’t want to get pregnant...back then, on the rare occasion one would sleep with you for money - it was only for really good drugs...nowadays it’s for tuition

Disciples of GP: SMU sounds like such a scary place. I can just picture a frazzly haired street urchin with meth teeth leering out from under imitation Gucci sunglasses...inquiring about my interest in a cash-for-sex transaction...he wears a button down shirt and bow tie...but no pants...just shorts...

FKA SchultzHater: Don’t let him claw at you...remember the AIDS...

Disciples of GP: It’s so sad and disgusting...I’m starting to feel sorry for SMU...just like you did last year

FKA SchultzHater: It’s a sad state of affairs...maybe they need the Spirit Defenders

Disciples of GP: The Spirit Rangers might actually be an upgrade from these guys



FKA SchultzHater: What are your plans for after the game? Any recommendations on places to gloat?

Disciples of GP: The SMU coed won’t even know the Ponies lost...her boyfriend will no doubt be busy handing out $10 glory hole tuggies in some dank club bathroom off Cedar Springs....so stick around campus/uptown and put the largest bill on the outside of your money clip...but above all, wear purple- girls like winners

2 comments:

Mr. Bubbakins said...

that's some edgy material

buffalo said...

best one yet WWHD. bravo.