Ever since this arrived on my doorstep
I've been afraid to look in my mailbox.
For better or for worse, I've been a subscriber to to Texas Monthly for as long as I can remember, and I honestly couldn't tell you why. Sure, it sometimes has decent features, but it's an incredibly liberal rag with a pro-UT viewpoint and the Texanist section is arguably the most useless waste of column space this side of Jean Jacques Taylor. But, after receiving THAT in my mailbox last week, I'm out. I'm done. I immediately got on the TM website and cancelled my subscription, thus ridding myself of the politics of a magazine whose writers are almost all Texas transplants and view Texas mostly as a farcical land for story fodder rather than a place to live, and added another buck a month to my bank account. Yes, it's really a dollar a month to subscribe. That's 12 more dollars annually than I make writing for this blog, an amount I consider a wash considering I get to be my own editor.
Given, this cancellation was a long time coming, but after attempting to navigate the Colt slurp fest that was the cover story, I just can't do it anymore. Honestly, the fact that they put Colt on the cover doesn't bother me. Believe it or not, there are UT fans who hold him in higher esteem than Vince Young despite accomplishing half the feats, so it's a definitely a solid way to sell some magazines. But, the fact that they frame a Colt McCoy lovefest under the guise of a story about Texas QBs is what got me. Seriously, try and read it. I tried to skip over all of the Colt-centric paragraphs and get to the meat of the story, and before I knew it, I was done and hadn't learned a thing. It's not that I didn't know what I was getting into, it's just that it basically gives you no information about why the Texas QB has become what he has. It tries to offer some basic information about 7 on 7 football and how it transformed the "3 yards and a cloud of dust" old school football mentality espoused in Texas into the current spread style offenses you see in every major HS program today... but that's probably 100 words out of 10000. It never gets to the point and it never really mentions that most state's not named Texas also have 7 on 7 tournaments and also produce good quarterbacks. It's basically "Awww... Poor little Colt never got a chance to win the big one. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!" and I just couldn't stomach it.
And the kicker?
In the middle of the article it has a lineup of photographs showing the successful Texas QBs of the past 10-15 years, skewing heavily towards more current players. It should be noted that these photos are a clear smoke screen trying to draw reader attention away from the fact that they're reading a gay pride memorial to Colt McCoy. The spread has the usual suspects - Drew Brees at Westlake, Vince Young at Madison, Chase Daniel at Southlake - but it also features guys who haven't done anything in their collegiate careers such as Garrett Gilbert, Robert Griffin and Jerrod Johnson. Keep in mind, this article is supposed to be about Texas high school quarterbacks who were successful in high school and have taken that success and turned it into high caliber college careers, or more. So you'd think that list might include a quarterback who played at maybe THE Texas powerhouse high school and while there tossed 52 TDs, won 27 games, led his team to the state title game and was the Houston area-the biggest metro area in Texas, mind you - player of the year, then went to college IN TEXAS where he is a four year starter and has become the school's career leader in just about every category imaginable while leading his team to an undefeated season and BCS game and enters his senior season as the current NCAA leader in wins? That guy, no matter his hair color, might merit some attention, right?
Do you still wonder why I cancelled my subscription?
In my old age I've tried to tone down the aggressive language, especially when writing on here because I know it's gone beyond the five guys it started with, but I'm making an exception here. Fuck You, Texas Monthly. Fuck You right in the ear. If you've ever wondered why the print news industry is an epic failure, look no further than that. I mean, does this make any sense? Oh, and to be fair, Dalton gets one mention... in a long paragraph mentioning about 15 other QBs and gets no distinguishing treatment. How can you call yourself a legitimate publication and then write an article about Texas High school Quarterbacks and leave him off? I mean, I accept that Colt McCoy is going to be your center piece. I really do because, when you're charging a dollar a month for a subscription, you've gotta generate some outside sales. This is the same reason I've never had a problem with Rivals overlooking our recruiting classes. But to act like he's the most successful high school QB to ever come out of Texas is absolutely ludicrous. I mean, in this article, Jordan Shipley gets more play than Dalton... JORDAN SHIPLEY!! Infuriating. Absolutely infuriating.
So, after reading that you'd think Colt McCoy is going to go on to be the next Peyton Manning or Joe Montana or Dan Marino, right? Well, it appears the Cleveland Browns might share my skeptical views on Colt McCoy's talent level because, according to SI.com, it looks like Colt just might not make the cut in Cleveland. In fact, Colt is the top guy on their list when it comes to guys who are on the chopping block. Cleveland, a team that currently employs Jake Delhomme - !!!!!!!!!!- and Seneca Wallace at QB. According to the piece, Colt is in a losing battle for the third QB spot with something called Brett Ratliff. I don't even think that player exists. A pro-UT fan would probably try and frame this as a loser organization not knowing a good thing when they have it, but you'll recall that Mike Holmgren recently took over as Cleveland's GM, and history suggests he knows a thing or two about quarterback talent.
So, I repeat - Colt McCoy, Texas Monthly coverboy and the guy that Texas fans felt could've been a late first rounder and was a "steal" in the third round, could get cut by an organization that still employs JAKE DELHOMME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In all honesty, I don't even really hate Colt McCoy like I've hated many other UT athletes, but you have to admit there's quite a bit of karmic justice in this situation. Getting to use Colt McCoy as a reason to finally cancel my subscription to a publication I don't even like, and then possibly having Colt cut by the Cleveland Browns in the same month makes me feel like a true winner. You know, like an Andy Dalton.
Die, Texas Monthly. Just die.