Matt Purke... or Osama Bin Laden?
For those of you who aren't in the know, Matt Purke put together an OK season for the Frogs this year. At least for a pitcher in the Mountain West Conference who doesn't face any real competition all year and plays for a small private school. I mean, the story was cute and all, but let's get serious: TCU? They're no Baylor, that's for sure. But, for some reason, the minds at Baseball Prospectus decided to take pity and name the poor guy as their Freshman Pitcher of the Year. I guess the major programs didn't have anyone of interest to toss out there this year. Tragic.
Personally, I would've given the honor to someone a LITTLE more respectful of the game than Purke, what with his mohawk, glasses and don't even get me STARTED on the way he wears his hat! Nevermind that it's the most comfortable way for it to fit his head and gives him better visual range when checking down base runners! All those balks this year? It's just the ghost of Teddy Ballgame and the Babe smiting him for his transgressions. I mean, the kid turned down $4 million because it wasn't enough money for him. Doesn't he realize there are starving people in Africa who are now also deaf due to overexposure to vuvuzuelas? Doesn't he realize that the country is in a recession and that normal Americans are working two jobs just to put food on the table? Isn't it just so foolish that Purke, rather than taking guaranteed money from a bankrupt organization that couldn't hold up their end of the contractual bargain thus bringing into question how much to trust them in the future, decided to go to college and develop his skills for two years so that when the majors are giving him big league money, they'll know they're paying a much more developed, big league ready talent? I mean, who wants to go experience college life with its endless buffet of temptations in the form of over-served sorority meat and $2 you-call-its anyway? Shouldn't Purke just quit baseball altogether after this insult? I'm just at a loss at this point. How does America not realize that, by giving Purke this award, the terrorists have truly won? Next thing you know we'll re-elect that anti-Christ Communist in the White House and bring forth the cataclysm of events set forth in the book of Revelations. And it's all thanks to Purke refusing to wear his hat forward. Don't you forget it.
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