Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Texas Tech Red Pederasts

Texas Tech Professor Rod Hicks

Calling someone a “jerk off,” while acceptedly insulting, has really become such an overused term as to become cliché. I mean, let’s face it – if Snooki from Jersey Shore is tossing the catchphrase around like most normal people would say “hello” or “goodbye,” it’s probably time to put it out to pasture. And while as TCU fans we’re apt to view our bitter rivals through this childishly derogative masturbatory light, in the case of at least one school, we’d apparently be correct.

As we all know, Texas Tech doesn’t exactly have a stellar reputation for academics; if you’ve ever met a graduate of said school, you’ll understand that this observation isn’t even scratching the surface. And while you have to admire the school trying to take a “creative” approach to human anatomy and physiology classes, there’s one glaring issue that I feel the school needs to address:

This isn’t a human anatomy and physiology class, and even if it was, the teacher is usually not the guinea pig for demonstrations.

I’ve never had a teleconference class. It seems a bit University of Phoenix online to me, which, now that I think about it, is probably a more reputatable University than Tech, so perhaps they’re onto something. Regardless, it seems they still haven’t completely MASTERED the technique to completion.*

Last week, Texas Tech professor Rod Hicks - his name is even Rod, this is too easy - was leading one of his classes via webcam while at his home in Austin, and all was going swimmingly well until class ended and, after Rod RELEASED the class, he decided to RELEASE himself… except he forgot to turn off the webcam… and he broadcast to his students that he has even less control of his arousal than Al Gore at a massage parlor. Too bad he doesn’t teach his class IN Lubbock – with the morally casual attitude of the female student body, he’d never have to do it himself.

The best part though? Rod has apparently gone on the lam – he’s refused to return to Lubbock when summoned by the school and has stopped answering his cell phone. Apparently by running he thinks he can BEAT OFF termination.

Although it’s entirely possible that Tech students signed up for said class in order to watch their teacher rub one out after class and the school merely wants to give him a promotion. They are, after all, a bunch of jerk offs.

*-Admittedly, the story never actually mentions that Hicks completed the task at hand - zing! - but it makes for a much better story, no? Besides, why else would you be looking at such material via the interwebs?

10 comments:

LT4heisman said...

I dont get it. Could the students see what he was watching, or could they just see him turning Japanese?

Cro-magnon Frog said...

Just got My SB KOOZIES, pretty much creamed in my pants just like rod did on web cam.

Sir Wesley Willis said...

It says they could see him surfing the web... which means we must've turned the webcam off of him and onto the screen... which means dude knew exactly what he was doing.

The Dude said...

Ah yes, now that you finally had 1 good year, everyone needs to bow down to the Harvard on the Trinity....give me a break, you guys are more full of yourselves than Aggies

shortnkerley's said...

5 11 win seasons in 7 years seems like more than 1 good year to me. Enjoy never making the BCS. Oh, and the Aggies dont win, we do. You're an idiot, Dude.

LENEtown Fizzle said...

you're being very un-dude

Texas Hammer said...

The Dude...more like The Douche.

THEFINCH said...

His Douchness, or uh, Doucher, or El Doucherino if you're not into the whole brevity thing....who is your team btw?

D said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
D said...

Douche McDoucher is from Tetch.

Contributes to disco tetch douche blog

http://ramblingraiders.blogspot.com