Monday, June 14, 2010

"Saw Em Off" - T-Shirt Fan Of The Year

I have to share my experience with probably the funniest t-shirt fan I've experienced to date.

We set up our tailgate outside the left field foul pole, next to the Texas fans that are there every year. This year they were very friendly unlike last year's run in with Buck Nasty making fun of their Michael Torres softball chant.

The tailgate was solid, but it still felt like something was missing. Then the T-Shirt Gods sent a gift from T-Shirt heaven. Let me introduce you to "Rick".

Rick strolls up with a 12 pack of Bud Ice bottles, and a plastic sack with 2 newly purchased Longhorn T's. He then borrows a kitchen knife from the adjacent tailgate, and proceeds to "saw off" the sleeves of the T-Shirt. He changes into his new creation and is ready to rock. No doubt he probably has a bachelor's degree from lawn mowing U, but today he is here to support the orange and white.

After witnessing this and trying to not get caught laughing and snapping a quick photo, I decided I have to introduce myself. I talked to him for a while about beisbol, he knew nothing, so I offered him a chunk of vodka soaked watermelon. Instead of taking a piece like a normal human being, he picks up the Tupperware and takes a 10 second pull off of the potent vodka and watermelon juice.

7 innings, 2 more pulls, and 10 Bud Ices later he gets kicked "out" by UT staffers because he is dropping more f bombs than Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat. So essentially he got kicked out of a game that he didn't even pay to see, standing outside left field.

He left behind his back up t-shirt, so after the tailgate had wound almost completely down, we decided to tear the sleeves off, because that's the way Rick would want it. Another tailgate took this act the wrong way and started yelling at us for being classless. They proceed to call the cops on us because they are butt hurt about the loss. I explained that it wasn't what it looked like and told them about my new best t-shirt fan friend Rick, and convinced them to hang up the phone that was dialing 911. What a bunch of babies.

Rick, if you are out there somewhere, keep on keeping on.

Who's going to Omaha???


Cro-magnon Frog said...

That sounded like a wonderful day.

CounselorFrog said...

No gay softball chants this year? I'm disappointed.

THEFINCH said...

he comes from californ-i-a, he rolls another double play, michael torres, texas number 9, that shit is still stuck in my head from last year.

CounselorFrog said...

Yes, thank you for putting it back in mine. Torres seemed like a good player, but I will forever hate him because of that chant.

Adam said...

The only thing you could have done worse is make upside-down horns with your hand OR be offended that the frogs walked across the seal.

Matt said...

What do you mean Rick doesn't know about beisbol? Once he threw that orange creation on his back I thought he instantly became an expert baseball analyst? Seriously though, I talked to him for a bit yesterday and I don't think he strung together more than 4 words of English all afternoon.

shortnkerley's said...

Calling the cops on y'all??? What were they trying to get you in trouble for? Pretty sure tearing sleeve off a shirt isn't a crime (although from the looks of Rick, maybe it should be.)

VikingFrog said...

Does Purple People Seaters provide tickets and airfare to recent college grads that can't afford to go on their own?