Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Rumor Mongering.

Cowherd's Secret Sources on the Big Televen Expansion.

Before we begin, this picture should be a reminder to all gingers of how things could've been for your kind. Lohan was untouchable in her Mean Girls days even with her unfortunate natural hair color. Now that she's blonde and putting SMU up her nose, she looks like an absolute tragedy. Bring her back to your team gingers. It's your only chance. Help her restore her epic status.

Also epic? This rumor spouted by Colin Cowterd this afternoon on ESPN radio. Given, I'm a Ticket guy, so I rarely listen to ESPN radio, thus I'm hearing this second hand, but here's the gist: Utah to the Pac-10 is a "done deal." Also heading west is Colorado. These two "developments" should shock no one as they've been long rumored. Furthermore, the dirty rumor of the Big Televen getting its Power Ranger on and morphing into the Big Sixteen is debunked by Cowherd, but he claims that the conference is now setting its sights on Connecticut and Rutgers.

Best of all? The Big 12 needs a new team to make itself whole again, and who do they take? Why, TCU of course! What a swell turn of events, no?

Playing the pretend game, if this all comes to pass, the non-BCS conferences will be, to put it lightly, "in flux." First off, the Big Least is in serious turmoil as they lose two of their measly eight football schools, so they'll have to rape and pillage Conference USA or something similar in order to survive. Regardless, their BCS status is kaput at best.

Our own Mountain West, the conference that nurtured us into the upper tier, is also in some serious trouble, with BYU being the only competent school left. Obviously the conference grabs Boise State immediately to remain relevant, and probably a pu pu platter of Fresno State, Nevada and/or maybe something like Idaho. If it comes down to that crew and the Big Least survivors for the final BCS spot, that's like choosing between Arby's and Burger King to help ease your diarreah.

The biggest losers would obviously be the MWC, the Big East, Conference USA and the WAC, because they first two lose two or their major players, and the latter would end up getting ransacked by the former. Would the NCAA really allow this to happen? It's hard to say. If Colorado, Utah, TCU, UConn and Rutgers are asked to relocate, I can't think of any reason why none of them wouldn't - the whole BYU/Utah rivalry thing binding them together reeks of BS to me. And what of Missouri? Surely they're a more attractive candidate for the Televen than UConn?

We're going to hear a TON of dirty rumors in regards to conference movement before anything remotely concrete happens, but seeing as how this directly benefits us, I just thought I'd share.


Mr. Bubbakins said...

I like.

LT4heisman said...

That chick from Party of 5 has huge knockers.

Cro-magnon Frog said...

hey, she's mine, BACK OFF

Sir Wesley Willis said...

Seriously, Mean Girls - most underrated when it comes to best looking of all time.