Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Lessons in SMU Hate: Pacemakers and Pussy(cats): Part One.

SMU Cheerleading Squad, or Hitler Youth Rally?

It’s been a few weeks since my last round of arbitrary hatred towards our rivals to the east, and this absence is troubling for a variety of reasons. Mostly though, SMU folk are just so inherently hateable, it seems like, even during the interim between DFW Duels – if you were unaware, SMU does NOT feature baseball but DOES feature that socialist pastime known as “soccer” – I still should’ve been able to find something to hate, right? I mean, surely there has to be something right under our noses – ZING! – to talk about? Fortunately for everyone involved, the interim has brought us not one, but TWO demonstrations of less than stellar moral demonstrations on the part of the Pony elite.

To begin, common knowledge tells us that SMU isn’t the most accommodating place for those who aren’t among the elite classes. Heck, any school that offers a tuition greater than the current staggering rate at TCU probably isn’t a place for your tired, your weary or your huddled masses. But still, you would think that most schools would at least have the decency to extend the physically or mentally disabled the same rights as any non-challenged student right? Especially when that student has taken all the necessary precautions to not make their disability a hindrance to others, including the school itself, correct?

Well, just remember the school in question.

Meet SMU Cheerleader Jamie Burns. Jamie is a lifelong cheerleader who arrived on campus last fall on scholarship and wishes for nothing more than to be able to continue doing the thing she loves most. No, not cocaine, performing! Except for one thing – Jamie has a heart condition that requires her to wear a pacemaker. And that won’t fly in Pony Country.

Now, admittedly, the lawyer weary part of my being immediately went to, “Well, I suppose that makes sense, because if the girl died while on the field or court, SMU would be liable for damages.” Except this isn’t the case at all. Jamie not only has full clearance from her physician to cheer, but she even went so far as to sign a waiver releasing the school from any liability should an issue arise due to her condition.

There’s also on more thing to remember… THE SCHOOL GAVE HER A SCHOLARSHIP TO BE A CHEERLEADER! This would be akin to Gary Patterson extending an athletic scholarship to a high school student, offering him a chance to play quarterback, without realizing that the kid was actually just the Farwell Steers' water boy. Or like TCU offering financial aid to the Sultan of Saudi Arabia’s son. In other words, whoever does the scholarship due diligence for the Ponies needs to give their methods a bit of a retooling.

But, perhaps there was another reason? Perhaps this was just a convenient excuse for SMU to rid themselves of a student who didn’t fit their “image. Perhaps with Fuhrer Jones arriving on campus and making the SMU Football team and school more nationally recognized, the administration decided a "purification" was in order so that prospective students ambiguity in their minds regarding their future fellow classmates.

Scroll back up and take a look at the current SMU Cheerleading squad at the beginning of the post.

Now take a look at a picture of Jamie Burns.

Jamie Burns

I'm not trying to draw any conclusions for you, but if racism is your preferred artistry, consider this my Sistine Chapel.

Stay tuned for the second half of this extra special two part installment of SMU Hate.

6 comments:

John Lamberth said...

This story is from Sept 2008... somebody's newsfeed needs updating.

And how is soccer socialist?!!?!

BuckNasty said...

Communist sport dude.

I HATE H said...

Hey now take it easy at one point in my awesome life I was actually a Farwell Steer Waterboy.

Sir Wesley Willis said...

Retroactive hate is still some good hate.

Sir Wesley Willis said...

But I wish I'd read the dateline, yes.

Cro-magnon Frog said...

Obama wants soccer to be the only sport in america. Except, no score will be kept and everyone has to have equal playing time.