Friday, October 2, 2009

Frog Talk / Ask-a-Frog: The Bottle Service Game

Apologies for not getting Frog Talk out last week, unfortunately I was traveling on an entertainment coach (not a bus...big difference) through the deep south to Clemson with no internet access. Alright guys, let's have it-

Disciples of GP: Alert the DEA, Schmeeew is coming to town, or should I say the "Harvard of the South"- they seriously think of themselves this way, their school colors were even chosen for Harvard crimson and Yale blue.

Do you realize our beloved Fort Worth is about to be infested with a bunch of Cali brohan d-bags and New England boarding school druggies that are such screw ups not even daddy's money or political connections could get them into an Ivy League school....instead they settled for a school with an Ivy League football team. I hope these terrible people don't show up at the Oui thinking it's a club.

FKASchultzhater: No, please don't tell me these people might show up at the Oui...can we talk to Trent and see if they can ban Ed Hardy t-shirts and guys wearing neck-ties with shorts?...that should work...I once sat next to an overweight girl in Algebra class that wore black t-shirts with animals on them everyday....real original Ed Hardy...way to steal her style.

Disciples of GP: I bet the High School nerd didn't have $300 designer jeans with sparkly gems and trendy lace designs with a stash of Columbian snow in the pocket. How many drug related undergrad deaths is Harvard South averaging these days? On a per capita basis it has to be staggering.

FKASchultzhater: I heard about a girl at smu that got kicked out of her sorority for showing up in a car that was made in far as the drug culture goes though, whenever you want hit on an SMU girl or take her home, just ask her if she "likes to party" while scratching your nose.

Disciples of GP: I used to think it would be pretty cool if SMU was decent so the old rivalry could be revitalized. Seeing how these guys acted in 2005 after they had a little bit of success (by managing to fluke-ishly beat us) hardened my heart. I hope these guys revel in mediocrity forever. Don't get me wrong, I love the hype every year about how Schmeeew is "turning the corner"...but let's be honest, unless this is a valet parking contest, they're screwed. I think most of our younger fans underestimate the history of HATE these 2 programs share. I've talked to some older SMU grads that can hardly talk about TCU w/o losing their shit in anger. Just to give you an idea of what I'm talking about, take Craig James, one of their most famous grads. Here's how Ponyboy votes the Frogs in the AP:

Week) James Rank / Actual AP Rank (delta)
5) 15 / 11 (4 spots)
4) 20 / 15 (5 spots)
3) 22 / 15 (7 spots)
2) 23 / 16 (7 spots)
1) 21 / 17 (4 spots)

2008 wasn't much different-
17) 10 / 7 (3 spots)
16) 15 / 11 (4 spots)
15) 15 / 11 (4 spots)

I could go on but you get the point...the man harbors so much hate towards TCU he'll consistently rank us absurdly lower than almost everybody else in the country, even though it makes him look like a petty dickhead to the rest of the world.
FKASchultzhater: My thoughts on SMU? Forgetting about the billboard "we don't tailgate, we boulevard," or how they wear TCU shirts to white trash theme parties, and the "June commeth slogans"...I don't know what to say...I was always the "nice guy" to the retarded kids in school, the rejects and other outcasts. I can't really say mean stuff here, this goes beyond kicking a dog while it's down, it's just plain mean to talk trash to these guys.
I mean seriously, would you be mean to this guy?

No, I want to love this guy, I want to pay for those guitar lessons, this is a real underdog trying to play the guitar, awesome, good for you man, good for you. I am tearing up just looking at you and becoming inspired at the same time.

So ponies out there, beaten underdogs, keep trying, good for you.

Disciples of GP: Who's your favorite former Schmeeew student- Kathy Bates, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Aaron Spelling, Payne Stewart, or the guy who plays "Kevin" from the Office?

FKASchultzhater: Did you listen to anything I just said? Of course it's Kevin.

Now let's name off some of SMU's awesome and exclusive fan base that will be in attendance tomorrow, besides normal looking frat guys with popped collars and guys with shorts and ties giving off "I'm better than you looks"
Disciples of GP: No problem

-Long Island guy with orange spray tan and Gucci sunglasses
-Miami club promoter
-Guy with a billion dollar trust fund that sells heroin on the side for fun
-Lacrosse player from Connecticut with sailing budding from New Hampshire
-Older SMU grad who still thinks SMU is relevent in college football
-Boarding school guy from Maine who has daddy-doesn't-love-me issues
-Blazer in 90 degree heat guy
-Creator of this homo-erotic SMU highlight film
-Coke induced skinny blonde with fakies
-1/28th owner of a one syllable trendy sushi restaurant
-Feel free to add on...

Hate Week Preview

Great Rage Form, JoePa

And so it begins. Hate week is reaching its peak. If you aren’t fired up for this one, you officlally have no excuses. You should’ve been blaring Nine Inch Nails all week. You should’ve been boning up on your Faces of Death footage. You should’ve read SI’s Heisman Watch suggesting Jimmy Clausen is a front runner. You should’ve gone to a UT fan site and just perused. You should’ve gone to a college volleyball players singles website and asked for June Jones. You should’ve asked a stranger to punch you in the face as hard as he could. You should’ve read some of Obama’s policies. You should’ve watched as Obama spent tax payer dollars to fly to Denmark to push for the Chicago Olympics only to watch him fail… actually, that fail made me really excited. Anyway, the bottom line: You should’ve taken all measurable steps to fashion your hate into a well oiled machine because, come 7 PM tomorrow, I expect all of you to be Soldiers of Hate.

Offense – Normally, this would be the one area where a June Jones coached team would have the edge on everyone they face, presumably. After all, he took a sexual predator like Colt Brennan and turned him into a Heisman contender. However, Jones’ currently project in Bo Levi Mitchell hasn’t exactly worked out according to plan. As a whole, SMU actually ranks a couple of spots higher than the Frogs, averaging 432 yards per game to our 425, but SMU gets their yardage almost primarily in the passing game whereas the Frogs are very even. More balanced team? Probably, but the offensive systems are very different so it is hard to compare. The problem with SMUs passing game? The man leading it. Bo Levi Mitchell, the guy who came in and replaced a QB in Justin Willis who many SMU fans would still blow in the locker room after the game, has not lived up to expectations this year. While he has thrown 6 TD passes and is ranked 7th in passing yards per game… he has also thrown 8 interceptions, 3 of which that were returned for touchdowns. Yikes. So, yes, the guy can fling the ball around with the best of them… it’s just… well, I think June Jones said it best with that whole, “I just hope we throw it to the right jersey color” comment. On the other hand, Andy Dalton, while definitely not as flashy, has done very well managing the game for the Frogs, totaling 4 TDs to 1 INT and practically winning the Clemson game singlehandedly. He may not be a gunslinger, but I’d take him over his Katy counterpart anyday.

Running the ball, well, let’s just say SMU has been less than adequate despite facing UAB and Washington State who are amongst the lowest of the low in terms of rushing defense – heck, overall defense. Miami transfer Shawnbrey McNeal – a dude who snubbed TCU for the Mustangs. Keep that in your back pocket – has led the charge with 308 yards in his 3 games so far, averaging 5 yards per attempt. The numbers may not jump out at you, but SMU is definitely a pass first kind of offense, so he isn’t going to get the amount of carries that he would elsewhere. Regardless, SMU is 99th in the nation in rushing offense with 105 per, so don’t expect GP and co. to respect the run too much. You may not have heard, but we have a pretty solid run defense. On the other hand, TCU is 15th in rushing offense with 207 yards per game but, wouldn’t you know, SMU has a pretty decent run defense this season. In fact, they will statistically be the best we’ve faced thus far. Could be a pretty good battle there, but you’re nuts if think a bad SMU run game is suddenly going to catch fire against the 4th best run D in the country.

Receiving, well, they may actually be up to par there. Aldrick Robinson and Emmanuel Sanders form a pretty significant wide receiver tandem and Sanders actually leads the country with 11 catches per game. In fact, Sanders broke a CUSA record –take a pause and laugh – against Washington State when he pulled in 18 passes, although it should be noted that’s a BAD team up there in Pullman. Like I said, statistically SMU has a fantastic pass game – just don’t look at the turnovers. TCUs passing game, on the other hand, has been fine, but it’s not a big play type situation we have in Fort Worth. We’re the un-SMU in terms of offense and, given our record vs theirs, I guess it’s worked out pretty well for us. I love Jimmy Young and Jeremy Kerley, but anyone who has watched TCU this year can tell you that they haven’t by any means reached their full potential. If the SMU run D lives up to their billing so far, they are going to have to turn it on this week if we want to rout the Ponies.

So, in essence, AD>BLM, TCU backs> McNeal, SMU Receivers>TCU Receivers.


Defense – Well, do I have to keep touting our defense week after week? Jerry Hughes and Co. should shut down the Mustangs run pretty easily and if our secondary can keep things under control, this game should be no problem. SMUs secondary may give up a lot of yards – 285 per game – but they actually lead the nation in interceptions with 11. Yes, the level of competition can play a factor, but this is very atypical to how that whole operation usually runs. As mentioned, SMU has a pretty decent run defense and have only given up 109.33 yards per game this season. Not up to stroke with the Frogs 68, but still, very nice for a team that may not even exist in 10 years. I really just wanted to give yall those stats as a heads up – I really don’t feel the need to preview the Pony defense for a show of objectivity.

Edge – Frogs

Special Teams – Well, Evans showed his true colors last week, so I’m giving this one to SMU by default. In the return game, Sanders has done for the Ponies the thing we’ve been waiting on Kerley to do for so long and that is return one for a score. Get this – Sanders has only returned 5 punts, but he has almost a 30 yard average and the score I mentioned. That’s scary. On kick returns, the Ponies average 27 yards per. Kerley on the other hand is averaging 9 yards per punt return and 20 per kick. That’s a definite SMU advantage, and one they are going to have to hope to exploit to hang with the Frogs, although I don’t anticipate us punting too much. Along those lines though, SMU Punter Matt Szymanski averages 43 yards to Kelton’s 36 and has dropped 5 inside the 20 to Kelton’s 4. Have to be fair here.

Edge – Smoo.

Overall – The thing that jumps out at me so much about this game is the spread – 28 points. For a team that has supposedly turned the corner, this doesn’t speak well for the public opinion on SMU, especially given their much improved defense. I mean, I’m a huge homer for the Frogs, but I’ll be absolutely thrilled if we win by 4+ TDs. I realize this game, other than 2005, is typically pretty lopsided in favor of the Frogs, but I see this one being a little bit closer, similar to the last time the two teams met in Fort Worth. Admittedly, TCU is a far superior team and with BLM trying to copyright the term “interception,” I see our secondary having a field day. SMU also isn’t a threat to run the ball, but no one is when they play the Frogs. I worry about their strong defensive front, but I also worried about Clemson’s and while they shut down Turner, they let Dalton run all over them. To this point, Dalton has been somewhat reeled in, which is great because it wins games, but I think if we’re going to let him test out that arm, now is the time. We faced a similar situation last year heading into the BYU game, but once we let Dalton do his thing, that game was over. Frogs will win, but it will be closer than 4 TDs.

Frogs – 41-Ponys 14. Hahah, see what I did there?

As a word to the wise, our own lyle lanley, who is actually quite the topic on, recently spoke with the ticket office and apparently tickets are going fast and the lower bowl is nearly sold out. If you haven’t gotten tickets, you may want to do that quickly or risk standing in huge lines to make said purchase. See you all tomorrow and Go Frogs!

Hate Week Signage

Well overall the signage was very disappointing in fratdorm circle. Only two had signs, the ramdas with some stupid thing, and the Kappa Sigs, with this piece of gold right here....

Top 25 Dragon - Hate Week Edition

Drug references during Hate Week? Oh, the Irony!

Well after last week it’s hard to imagine the Frogs being able to make an even further jump in the rankings, but, as fate has it, this week offers a few fantastic upset opportunities – 2 in prime time. Not to say that I’m already looking past SMU and counting it as a win… but I’m already looking past SMU and counting it as a win. I don’t see the Ponies being too much of a problem for us, but that isn’t what this post is about, so let’s see what’s on the schedule this week. Unlike previous weeks, there won’t be any deceased 1930s country music singers to help out along the way or even too many ill advised gambling tips – just straight up poorly informed opinions. Consider yourselves lucky.

#5/5 Boise State (Off) vs. UC Davis. Not a very interesting one here. We remember what happened when UC Davis – GP’s old stomping ground, mind you – came to Fort Worth. It will be just about as ugly on the Smurf Turf. Hopefully this is the game where Boise’s strength of schedule starts to catch up with them. This is not the 5th best team in the country… is it?

#6/6 Virginia Tech at Duke (+17.5). Well the Hokies came out last week and sent quite a shockwave through the college football world, dismantling Miami, and they even showed some offense in the process. Yes, this was your classic Beamerball game with a score on special teams as well as defense, defense, defense, but perhaps Virginia Tech has some potency on the other side of the ball these days? You won’t believe me, but Duke actually ranks 26th in the NCAA in passing yards per game, and claims they have a freshman running back who’s going to start turning it on. No matter, this is still Duke we’re talking about. David Cutcliffe may have them heading in the right direction, but they’re still a bad team, even by ACC standards.

#7/7 USC at #24/19 Cal (+5.5). Probably the best matchup of the weekend, and it could’ve been SO much better had USC not gotten hoodwinked by Washington, nor the Bears been… well, whatever you call that game against Oregon. Prison Raped? Cal RB Jahvid Best will not have a 55 yard game again this season, and probably not even a 55 yard half. Look for the Bears to rebound at home. After the previous week, USC should’ve come out last week ready to explode on a hapless Washington State team. Instead, they just got by, although QB Matt Barkley did have 3 TD tosses coming back from injury. The Trojans are going to be without RB Stafon Johnson who, if you haven’t read, had a pretty horrific weightlifting accident this week in practice. It appears he’s going to be fine after surgery, but I wouldn’t expect him back on the field anytime soon. On the flipside, Oregon certainly did not boast a highly ranked rush defense, but they sure shutdown Best, and USC has a pretty great one. This is a very tough one to pick, but something seems off about this USC team. They just don’t have their usual spark and I think this could be the year when they finally drop a PAC 10 championship. The Bears rebound from last week and take it out on their in state rival.

#8/8 Oklahoma at #17/21 Miami, FL (+7.5). I spoke too soon - this is probably the best matchup of the weekend, mainly because who cares about the Pac 10? According to sources, OU will be playing the game with Sam Bradford on the sidelines, but to this point, the only game they’ve lost is the one he played in, so take that for what it’s worth. Yes, I realize how unfair and ridiculous that point is, but it’s something to think about, no? Anyway, Miami is coming off a huge loss to Virginia Tech last week that took them from national title contender to also-ran in their own conference in a week’s time. OU has had 2 weeks to prepare for this game, and fill-in QB Landry Jones has come along shockingly fast, albeit against inferior competition. That OU defense has lived up to its billing and Miami has been known to give up points this season – fortunately they’ve happened to score more than their opponents. It’s a very tough one to call – two explosive offenses, one strong defense, one not as strong. The Orange Bowl should be as fair weather as ever this weekend. The ‘Canes may be a 7 point dog, but the home crowd as well as the confidence of knowing they won’t have to face OU at their best makes me think the Canes can slip by, officially knocking the Sooners out of the national title picture.

#9/9 Ohio State at Indiana (16.5). So I mentioned earlier this week that I had to hit the road for some work, and inevitably I ended up eating lunch with two guys from Big Ten country – one from Wisconsin and one from Minnesota. Apparently these two rivals are playing each other this weekend and throughout the entirety of the meal I got to listen to them describe how their respective team was going to “kick the butt” of the other one. This has no bearing on this game, but it just made me think, “You know, people criticize us for being MWC fans and caring… but oy vey, could there be anything worse than being a fan of a middle tier Big 10 school?” What a boring, boring bunch of people. Anyway, that anecdote was placed in there as filler for why I don’t’ care enough to preview this game.

#10/11 Cincinnati at Miami, OH (+29). Cincinnati has one of the highest scoring offenses in college football. Miami has the second worst scoring defense in college football. Cincy is 4-0 and has beaten teams like Oregon State and Fresno State. Miami is 0-4, was shut out in 2 games, and overall has given up 167 points and scored 45. Miami could very well be the worst team in college football. Those facts alone should justify the spread.

#12/15 Houston at UTEP (+15). On paper, this looks like the lock bet of the weekend as Houston averages 43 points per game while UTEP only scores 17.3 and gives up 33.3. However, this is an apparent CUSA flavored rivalry game and is usually a lot closer than the spread indicates. The last 2 meetings have been decided by less than 5 points, though Houston won both. Even when UTEP has been bad – and oh, they’ve been bad – they still manage to get up for the Cougars and give them a tough game. Houston has also only won one of three times while playing at the Sun Bowl. This seems like a huge letdown game after the narrow escape versus the Leaches last week. Still, I don’t think Houston has too many problems with the Miners, especially as they let a pansy QB like Colt McCoy run up 64 on them. He doesn’t even have red hair! An upset here would be fantastic, but highly unlikely.

#13/17 Iowa (-21) vs. Arkansas State. See: Ohio State at Indiana. The Hawkeyes are coming off a huge repeat upset of Penn State and have firmly supplanted themselves as the Big Televen favorite, Ohio State be damned. Arkansas State plays football in Jonesborough, Arkansas and didn’t even have enough pull to keep their mascot, the Indians, and are now the Red Wolves. Meanwhile, the Redskins continue to piss all over Pocahontas’ grave. Iowa is going to treat the Red Wolves like David Letterman treats his interns.

#15/13 Penn State at Illinois (+6.5). Just as a disclaimer – all games that Illinois plays in that fall into the preview will be discussed simply as a vehicle to bash Schultz. The High Flying Schultzes currently average 18 points a contest and 347.7 yards of offense which firmly entrenches them in the lower tier of college football offenses. In fact, the Illini are so bad that there is a decent chance the coaching staff may not be retained after this season. Nice career move, Mike. Meanwhile, the Nittany Lions lost a big one against Iowa last week and should be fired up about this one as they desperately need to win out to keep pace with Ohio State and Iowa in the Big Televen race. The Illini should present a nice opportunity for the spread HD to get back on track.

#16/25 Oregon at Washington State (+33.5). Oooh, another one of those lopsided Pac 10 point spread games featuring Washington State. Do these guys treat a game where they cover the spread as a victory these days, because it’s the only victories they get when Bo Levi isn’t under the opposing center. Apparently the bookies are back on board the Phil Knight Express after they man handled Cal last week. Oh yeah, and there’s also talk of Oregon reinstating suspended RB LeGarrette Blount, showing that in college football the standard will always be, “Bad behavior is unacceptable when we’re losing, but all morals are out the window when the ship rights itself.” If the Ducks continue to gain momentum, look for Blount to return mid season to push them over the top. Meanwhile, that 16/25 media/coaches gap is the biggest in the current polls, which makes little sense as Cal is ranked 6 spots higher than the Ducks. Apparently the whole interns filling out the coaches ballots is a lot more accurate than we think. Anyway, I once again feel safe saying that Washington State will not win this game, but they’re likely to cover.

While last week was the likely crème de la crème of poll movement for TCU, it is apparent that we have some room for improvement even with our Top 10 ranking. In a perfect world, Cal would beat USC, Miami would beat OU and Indiana would further extend their unlikely 3-1 record and upset the Buckeyes. Now there’s obviously no chance that all of these happen but, this being the WACKY WORLD OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL, you have to expect at least one. Stay tuned.