Friday, September 18, 2009

Frog Talk / Ask-a-Frog: The Outlet Mall Game

Yep, that’s Chlamydia

Great turn out for UVA fan-wise.  Unlike a lot of our fans, I wasn’t that distressed to see some offensive miscues early on.  On the contrary, I was actually relieved to see what looks to be the rough draft of our ‘new’ offensive scheme.  New sets, more ‘wide openness’, a vertical passing attack were some very encouraging signs that a more dynamic offense could be in our future.  Granted we didn’t execute, primarily b/c of some overthrown passes (which I don’t really hold against Dalton…I mean how excited were you just as a fan to finally get frog football underway), but the receivers were running crisp routes and getting open.  O-line did a great job both giving Dalton time and opening up holes for our RB’s. 

After the early miscues we reverted back to our more traditional offense, which was able to dominate.  The fact we tried this new offense early on shows GP’s confidence in:  the new system, our defense, or being able to fall back on the tried and true O scheme if need be- maybe a little of all 3, you pick.  The fact we switched back to our more traditional O could mean GP lost confidence in the new O or perhaps he didn’t want to show future opponents any more of this new O we’re cooking up- I hope it’s the latter.  I also like the fact GP didn’t try to run up the score, and instead played our backups once the game was secure.  While I don’t like getting scored on any more than you, good programs get their younger players experience instead of running up 50 touchdowns- as evidenced by Bradford, not doing so can result with your entire program’s success hinging on some porn stache wearing backup with zero game experience.   

Unfortunately I was only able to get quotes from Disciples of GP for this wks post, FKASchultzhater has spent the entire week meditating on the 50 yard line of the AGC in preparation for the first home game and appears to be in some sort of Gameday induced trance, but rest assured he’ll be back next wk with some very ‘hot sports opinions.’  So this week….

Disciples of GP:  Our defense last week was its usual diabolical self, plotting evil and tattooing pain on the opposing offense’s collective ass.  I can’t wait to see what mayhem they have in store this week because let’s not beat around the bush, prison rape scenes in Oz are going to be less graphic than what Texas State is about to endure.  Why doesn’t SB have a “Sack Counter”?  Such counter could reach 1,000 this week.  Why hasn’t SB begun the “Hughes for Heisman” campaign?

FKASchultzhater:  [meditating….softly mumbling “Jerry Hughes…Jerry Hughes…”] 

Disciples of GP:  Let’s get on with the “Know thy Enemy” segment:  With 30,816 students, TX St. is the largest flagship in the UT System (5th largest university in TX) and admits 74% of its applicants.  Its campus is “TMU” in NBC’s FNL.  It’s the only university in Texas to produce a President- LBJ (not exactly elected, eh).  Oh yeah, and it has changed its name 5x since opening.  They want to move up to FBS by 2012 and have 2 national championships (in whatever division they were in from 1981-82) under former frog head coach Jim Wacker. 

TX St. is in San Marcos, birthplace of former BYU QB Ty Detmer (just in case you need more reasons to hate).  Their mascot is Boko the bobcat…I’m pretty sure bobcat’s are cougars in training (and by cougar I’m talking about a feline with two legs that frequents the Dallas Ritz Carlton).  The most noteworthy thing about their football team is their QB is probably older than you (27)- way to shake off those ‘Necessary Roughness’ jokes.  When does eligibility end??

Only 4 counties in Texas (Bell, Travis, Nueces, and Potter) had a higher Chlamydia rate in 2008 than Hay’s County (where San Marcos resides).  San Marcos specifically had 734 case of Chlamydia, 114 cases of Gonorrhea, and 7 cases of Syphilis.  I have to believe these statistics are inflated by the Texas State Strutters (their dance team that got x-ed by the America’s Got Talent judges in 2008 for being “boring and out of sync”- how’s that for pop culture), but is probably understated by students that go home to get tested.

And finally a question to you (the 10 people who read SB):  Which TX State grad would you most like to have a cold one with:  Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels, George Strait, or the guy who played Captain Harris in the Policy Academy movies?

Week Two Preview: Southwest Texas State Armadillos

From the 2009 SWT Media Guide

To paraphrase my old pal R. Kelly, ” Now usually I dont do this but uh...Go 'head on and break em off wit a lil' previews of the TCU, Southwest Texas game.” I say I usually don’t do this because, let’s face it, how many interesting tidbits are there in regards to a game between a top 15 ranked D-1 team and a team that in decidedly not D-1? Sure sure, you can say, “tell that to Michigan” or “look what William and Mary did?” but, let’s be honest: we’re quite a bit more talented than either of those squads were when they played said games. Last year when we played SFA I can’t remember any sort of hype surrounding the game, but this Southwest Texas – I refuse to call them anything else- is a different sort of animal. Sure, there was a little bit of typical player rumblings from the SFA team last year – rumblings which we quickly dispatched to the tune of 60 points – but I honestly think SWT and their fans believe they can beat us. Obviously blog and message board banter is reserved for the most homerish of fans, but even I have my limits. I’m guessing most of you read this article which outlines how the Sinbad-led Armadillos can beat us, which is kind of like saying, “You know, if I had a time machine, about 20 more pounds of muscle, and a rocket arm, I could totally go back and train myself to be an NFL quarterback!” In other words, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but let’s be realistic here. Just as a refresher, here are the author's points.

  • Limit the Turnovers – Alright, let’s start out with the obvious – the team with the fewest turnovers typically wins. Armadillo fans will have you believe that QB Bradley George is some sort of overlooked phenom that is at Texas State because he wants to be there – not because he’s a 27 year old baseball retread that no Division 1 school in their right mind would take a flier on. Chris Weinke he apparently is not. Herpes make people think crazy things. Their message board banter will have you believe that not only is George better than Dalton, but, in fact, he’s the 2nd best QB in the state. Better than Taylor Potts and Robert Griffin. Better than Bo Levi Mitchell – an assumption that I would love to back up, but come on. I have no clue who aggy throws out under center, so I’ll let the Dillo fans have that one. Here’s what loyal fan bobcatjh has to say, I will say it again, Dalton would not start here. He would carry a clipboard for Bradley George. I love your "He's a Winner" comment.... All of the fat turds on The Biggest Loser trying to walk a quarter mile without dropping dead are also "all winners"." I don’t even feel the need to argue this point on our behalf, but is that how you all feel about the guy who is probably going to be the most prolific TCU passer ever this season? A team that has lined up Sammy Baugh under center? They also went on to say that they have 2 WRs who would start for TCU, but I think I’m going to let them take that up with my legal counsel, Young, Kerley, Hicks and Associates.. Anyway, my point in this is they’re going to throw out a stat this week that says George went 18/27 for 328 yards and 3 TDs. A healthy stat line, I will say. What they won’t mention is that he also threw 2 INTs. To Angelo State. Does anyone not from West Texas even know the exact location of San Angelo, let alone that they have a football team? Come on now. We have the two best corners in the conference, a fantastic free safety in Tejay Johnson and two new starting safeties who, while inexperienced, sure didn’t let UVA do too much. The backups, well, we know what happened there, but I have no issues with who we start the game with. I would think 2 INTs are guaranteed on Hughes’ disrupting of the backfield alone, not to mention the few fumbles he will likely create. We had one turnover last weekend on a gimmick play gone wrong. Against a Division 1 school – a poor one, yes, but D-1 nonetheless. I feel pretty confident in saying the turnover battle is not going to be a factor in this one.
  • Run the Ball – Hhahahahahahaha, I needed a good laugh today anyway. Instead of mentioning our many defensive accolades, I’ll just let this set in. On the SWT fan message boards, faithful Dillo fan ‘Apridg04’had the good sense to throw this one out, As long as BG has time in the pocket, I think we're going to pass all over them. Virginia did in the final 4 minutes of the game and Virgina's passing game $UCK$. Ours doesn't. Sewell passed for more yards and more TDs against TCU than he did agaist William and Mary. Of course, the TCU starters were out of the game for the first touchdown, but they were back in for the second. If we can keep Hughes away from BG, we'll stay in the game.” A sleight on our defense? Let’s keep things in perspective here, sweetheart. We held OU to their lowest output of the season last year. We made a Boise State team that averaged somewhere in the neighborhood of 30-40 points per game last year resort to missed field goals as a method of scoring. The Utah situation was extremely similar to that; unfortunately we came up just short. We were #1 in the country last year in total defense and have done just that several times in recent years. It also needs to be mentioned that SWT lost their starting RB this week. Good luck with that, guys. Hugs and kisses will be available in Lot 3 after the game.
  • Control the clock- Again, must I mention we led the country in said statistic last year and our defense flat out keeps opposing offenses on the sidelines? These guys had the ball for appx. 2.5 more minutes than Angelo State. True, this could be attributed to their offense scoring points quickly – I honestly don’t know, I don’t give two shits about SWT Football. However, despite our apparent lack of defensive prowess last week in getting apparently run off the field by Jameel Sewell – their words, not mine – we still held the ball for 10 minutes longer than the Cavaliers. Here's a statistic: Tx State, a team that plays Division I-AA football and gave up 28 points and 374 total yards to Angelo State, thinks they can hold the ball longer than us. Honestly, I think this is the one stat where they could beat us. I mean, once our three headed running attack has their front seven begging for the white flag, I expect touchdowns to come quickly and in bunches. How long does it take Joseph Turner to run an 80 yard sprint? Multiply that by about 6 or 7 and there’s your time of possession
So folks, in all seriousness, there’s always a chance that one of these teams can jump up and bite you without you expecting it. Having 2 weeks to prepare for us and 2 ex TCU grad assistants just adds more to that specuation. However, when you look at the betting lines and your game is off the board, that typically means you won’t have any problems in dispatching your inferior foe. I admire the SWT enthusiasm, but these guys don’t have a fucking chance in hell.

Frogs 56, Armadillos 9. Kathy Ireland is going to have a HUGE game.

I look forward to seeing all of you tomorrow and just remember: If an SWT coed approaches you, run. Run as fast as you can. The diseases they hide away in their shorts make the swine flu feel like a gentle autumn breeze.

Spitblood Predictions: Southwest Texas

Did you know in the movie Necessary Roughness, that Texas State plays Southwest Texas? And now Southwest Texas is Texas State. And they're not the Armadillos, and Scott Bakula is no longer their Quarterback. It's all very confusing...tell me what's going on, Sam! Either way, we're not playing Texas Tech...although I'm not sure how to tell the difference between the two schools. Oh...that's right, Texas State has actually won a championship before.

Anyways, I want to hear your predictions again this week in the comments section. Let me know what you think the final score will be, along with who you think will be the star of the game on offense, defense and special teams. says the Frogs will win, 52-0. If that happens, shortnkerley's and I will be prank-calling our high school Latin teacher from the alley behind The Oui.

Some Baseball News

I realize that the day before our Top 15 football team's home opener, most of you are interested in nothing but the foosball. But our Top 15 baseball team opened fall practice Wednesday, and I thought it was worth a post.

After coming within one victory of the College World Series this past summer, the Frogs have nearly their entire pitching staff coming back. That staff will be complimented with the addition of Matt Purke, the 14th overall pick in the Major League Draft who spurned the Rangers to come to TCU. He's the headliner of the recruiting class that was recently ranked as the 7th-best in the country by Collegiate Baseball. It will be interesting to see how Purke fits into the rotation, but the real intrigue is to see who replaces the offensive production lost with the graduation of Matt Carpenter, Matt Vern and Chris Ellington.

There are 15 intrasquad games at Lupton Stadium during fall practice, all open to the public. The first one is tomorrow at 1:00pm.

Morning Dump

TCU Hall of Fame adds six members Star-Telegram

Cannon is getting in done in a big way for TCU
Odessa American

Texas State's Canady eager for spotligh
t San Antonio Express-News

BYU, Mountain West trying to crash BCS party Seattle Times