Friday, September 11, 2009

Frog Talk / Ask-a-Frog: The "Worse than William and Mary" Game

Famous 'Wahoo' "Teddy K", not this one
FKASchultzHater and Disciples of GP are back after a very long offseason with their weekly offensive rant/pregame summary. We're a day away so I'm not going to waste any time-

FKAshultzhater: TCU -11 points? Life savings?

Disciples of GP: I actually feel kind of sorry for UVA. Any team that can't beat William and Mary and has lost to Duke in the last 12 months has absolutely no business being chainsawed/forced to play TCU. I mean, isn't this a college of nerdy Ivy League wannabe's who didn't have the resume or dad connections to get into Harvard or Yale? Who are these dorks and how did they get on our schedule? Doesn't the ACC only play basketball? GP has said he's having a hard time coming up w/ 'bulletin board' material for these guys- how about "make these guys PAY for F-ing our strength of schedule."

FKAShultzhater: Any “sleepers” out there you feel like are going to make a difference this year?

Disciples of GP: One 'sleeper' young player I'm going to be paying close attention to- who hasn't gotten the press like some others (Tucker, Brock, etc)- is Skye Dawson. This guy was an unhearlded recruit who is not slated to be redshirted. With our depth at rec, I'm guessing he's something special/cheetah-fast, and can stretch opposing defenses.

FKAShultzhater: Any thoughts on UVA?

Disciples of GP: I know very little about UVA, but am not above blatantly biased and ridiculously uninformed stereotypes. Maybe it's b/c their tuition, campus achitecture, and football teams share similar characteristics, but UVA reminds me a lot of a Colonial SMU- without the psychedelics and coke addicts of course. Sure their students are probably more seersucker and Kentucky Derby than SMU's graphic dragon t-shirt rave crowd, but for some reason, I jst can't shake the feeling we're going to play the east coast schmeeew...and I hate schmeeew.

FKAShultzhater: I heard your making the trip today, any advice for the die-hards heading that way?

Disciples of GP: A couple things everyone should be aware of before stepping foot in Charlottesville:

-They were voted Hottest University for Fitness in 2005, so odds are that nerd you're heckling is in better shape than you

-UVA has "secret societies" (gay), but one is reportedly called "Purple Shadows" (not gay)

-Never challenge anyone there to laccross, rowing, or a political science debate...those just seem like things they'd be good at

-They got their colors from a player who showed up at a campus meeting in a navy blue and orange scarf he had brought back from a University of Oxford summer boating expedition (seriously)

FKAShultzhater: Wow, anything else?

Disciples of GP: This is what I call "Know thy Enemy." UVA is a historic university...these guys practically portray themselves as the official university of American history (university founded by Jefferson, designated World Heritage Site, etc). Well 'Cavalier ' was the name used by Parliamentarians for a Royalist supporter of King Charles I during the English Civil Wars (Charles lost both the First and Second Civil Wars, was later executed for treason), the same Charles who believed in the Divine Right of Kings and levied taxes w/o Parliament's consent. Also, their mascot is a historical reference to the time when Virginia earned its nickname, the "Old Dominion" b/c it was a hotbed of persons loyal to the English crown.

I don't know much outside of that, but it sounds to me like these Benedict Arnolds are really a bunch of Red Coats posing as Colonialists...and on the weekend anniversary of 9/11, this anti-American sleeper cell right next to DC cannot go unpunished. Luckily for us, and greater America, GP is rolling in with his red blooded American saber-toothed wolf hounds to George-Washington-style-Yorktown their asses.

Spitblood Predictions: UVA

Man oh man, after 262 days of waiting since the Frogs beat Boise State in San Diego, we've got just one more sleepless night until the '09 squad finally takes the field for the first time. ESPN says the Frogs will win 35-6, while College Football News says they'll win 27-9. Sounds like they either think that UVA will actually be able to put together multiple scoring drives (pfffft!), or that they think the Frogs are just that bad-ass at blocking extra points.

Now I want to hear from you. Leave your prediction in the comments section- the final score as well as who you think will be the star of the game on offense, defense and special teams.

Oh, and this isn't for fun- I don't believe in fun. It's just that I have a sneaking suspicion that one of you out there (a Spitblood regular or even an occasional reader) is really a robot sent from the future to destroy us all. This little contest will expose you, and then I'll have you chase me (along with my friendly robot and my Mom, Linda Hamilton) into a steel refinery where we'll freeze you, then almost get killed by you before shooting you with a sawed-off shotgun, causing you to fall into a fiery cauldron that I can only imagine James Cameron meant to symbolize hell.

Go Frogs

UVAnal Bleeding

Thanks to Cro-magnon Frog for sending me this pic. I have no idea who the original artist is. Perhaps Jerry Hughes signed up for 3 more hours and is now taking a Photoshop class. Don't let anyone fool you when they tell you that the Sistine Chapel was Michelangelo's masterpiece.

We ready.

Morning Dump

Hughes leads a defensive line with varied experience Star-Telegram

Torrential rain stole show in first TCU-UVA matchup

Virginia football notes Richmond Times-Dispatch

Secondary is prime concern for U.Va. defense Lynchburg News & Advance

Fans can text TCU with their seat location and concerns about unruly fan behavior

This might be the gheyest thing TCU has done since banning student tailgating! If TCU wants to improve attendance they shouldn't have a narc policy. It’s hard enough to get our student body and young alumni to leave their tailgates and actually come in the game on time or at all for that matter. What if I can't wait until half time for a beer and/or cig, am I expected to actually leave the stadium? Now you’re telling me I have to watch out for narcs? If this is the case, can we have parents who aren’t bright enough to know better than to bring their small children in close proximity of drunken obnoxious football fans removed from the “student section?”
Some people might say that I’m “the problem” and that others shouldn’t have to put up with my behavior. But the real “problem fans” are the ones that don’t fill the seats, watch the game, stand up and cheer, or get excited about our Horned Frog football! When I get fired up about TCU football I can’t always control what comes out of my mouth. It is for that reason that I do not sit in more “family friendly” sections. I think it’s great that parents can take their children to the game for a fun family outing but part of good parenting requires making good judgment calls such as avoiding rowdy and sometimes crude fans. The stadium is large enough and unfortunately there are enough open seats available all over the stadium that my sports fanaticism shouldn’t bother you. If it just so happens that you do find yourself sitting next to an “unruly” fan, such as myself, try asking them to tone it down a notch or relocating before snitching. If you find yourself sitting next to a large group of “unruly fans” then maybe you’re in the wrong section! We are all there to have a good time and support the Horned Frogs so lets respect one another’s levels of intensity and make conscious seating choices rather than resorting to narcing.