Famous 'Wahoo' "Teddy K"...no, not this one
FKASchultzHater and Disciples of GP are back after a very long offseason with their weekly offensive rant/pregame summary. We're a day away so I'm not going to waste any time-
FKAshultzhater: TCU -11 points? Life savings?
Disciples of GP: I actually feel kind of sorry for UVA. Any team that can't beat William and Mary and has lost to Duke in the last 12 months has absolutely no business being chainsawed/forced to play TCU. I mean, isn't this a college of nerdy Ivy League wannabe's who didn't have the resume or dad connections to get into Harvard or Yale? Who are these dorks and how did they get on our schedule? Doesn't the ACC only play basketball? GP has said he's having a hard time coming up w/ 'bulletin board' material for these guys- how about "make these guys PAY for F-ing our strength of schedule."
FKAShultzhater: Any “sleepers” out there you feel like are going to make a difference this year?
Disciples of GP: One 'sleeper' young player I'm going to be paying close attention to- who hasn't gotten the press like some others (Tucker, Brock, etc)- is Skye Dawson. This guy was an unhearlded recruit who is not slated to be redshirted. With our depth at rec, I'm guessing he's something special/cheetah-fast, and can stretch opposing defenses.
FKAShultzhater: Any thoughts on UVA?
Disciples of GP: I know very little about UVA, but am not above blatantly biased and ridiculously uninformed stereotypes. Maybe it's b/c their tuition, campus achitecture, and football teams share similar characteristics, but UVA reminds me a lot of a Colonial SMU- without the psychedelics and coke addicts of course. Sure their students are probably more seersucker and Kentucky Derby than SMU's graphic dragon t-shirt rave crowd, but for some reason, I jst can't shake the feeling we're going to play the east coast schmeeew...and I hate schmeeew.
FKAShultzhater: I heard your making the trip today, any advice for the die-hards heading that way?
Disciples of GP: A couple things everyone should be aware of before stepping foot in Charlottesville:
-They were voted Hottest University for Fitness in 2005, so odds are that nerd you're heckling is in better shape than you
-UVA has "secret societies" (gay), but one is reportedly called "Purple Shadows" (not gay)
-Never challenge anyone there to laccross, rowing, or a political science debate...those just seem like things they'd be good at
-They got their colors from a player who showed up at a campus meeting in a navy blue and orange scarf he had brought back from a University of Oxford summer boating expedition (seriously)
FKAShultzhater: Wow, anything else?
Disciples of GP: This is what I call "Know thy Enemy." UVA is a historic university...these guys practically portray themselves as the official university of American history (university founded by Jefferson, designated World Heritage Site, etc). Well 'Cavalier ' was the name used by Parliamentarians for a Royalist supporter of King Charles I during the English Civil Wars (Charles lost both the First and Second Civil Wars, was later executed for treason), the same Charles who believed in the Divine Right of Kings and levied taxes w/o Parliament's consent. Also, their mascot is a historical reference to the time when Virginia earned its nickname, the "Old Dominion" b/c it was a hotbed of persons loyal to the English crown.
I don't know much outside of that, but it sounds to me like these Benedict Arnolds are really a bunch of Red Coats posing as Colonialists...and on the weekend anniversary of 9/11, this anti-American sleeper cell right next to DC cannot go unpunished. Luckily for us, and greater America, GP is rolling in with his red blooded American saber-toothed wolf hounds to George-Washington-style-Yorktown their asses.