Monday, February 9, 2009

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

That light may be an oncoming train for the bball team
but for the football team it means rapin, pillagin, and retail.

Well, that time is upon us again... we're nearing the end of the road of another unsuccessful bball season and we're all trying to decide if we genuinely care enough about TCU baseball to throw ourselves behind it. Not that the basketball team has been entirely disappointing; when you put it in perspective, Christian and his staff have done an absolutely phenomenal job this season despite what they inherited and the haphazard way in which they had to craft this particular basketball team. In fact, when you think about the shambles NPD left the program in, 13-10 is sort of like going undefeated at an ACC school. Regardless, it looks like after convincing wins over the likes of Texas Tech and UNLV, the Frogs are finally crashing back to earth... and hard. Regardless, I'm not here to cast stones or start, because the team is heading in the right direction... I just wish they hadn't teased us like they did. As far as the baseball team goes, it's not that I'm not a fan of the TCU baseball team.. it's just that I'm entirely skeptical on baseball as a sport in general. If CC Sabathia can weigh in at near 300 pounds and be considered the top notch "athlete" at his position, then I'm just not convinced of the athletic merit of this game you play with sticks and balls (no, not THAT game). However, and at the risk of being fairweather, I'm going to try and give the team a shot this year since it looks like this is going to be one of the best teams we've fielded in my tenure and the fact that we have one of the premier facilities in all of NCAA baseball to watch a game.
However, for those of you who don't have the will power to hang with the fledgling basketball team and the endless baseball season, fear not for I have just read that the spring football game has been scheduled for April 4th!!!! Yaaaayyyyy!! That's like less than 60 days away! What's the best part about the spring game, though? It's not the glorified hour of practice that GP puts on as an ill disguised show of support for the boosters... hell no!! It's the spring sale!!! Where else can you buy used, sweat stained equipment from all of your favorite Frog athletes? Where else can you bring $100 and come out with a jersey, a pair of shorts, and Andy Dalton's jock strap? That's right, NOWHERE EXCEPT THE SPRING SALE!!! Now, from what I understand these scheduled dates are HIGHLY tentative depending on how GP feels about the team's progress on that specific date, and I hope this is true because I'm currently scheduled to be attending a wedding on that day, but considering it's not MY wedding (and, if you'll notice I specifically planned my wedding so that it would not interfere with any Frog related sporting events. You're welcome), I think we can safely say I'll be getting out of that one. I'm so excited about this, I'm going to go ahead and put together my wish list for said sale and what it will cost any willing suitors to wrestle said items from me.
  1. Game used Robert Henson jersey from the BYU game. It'll cost you an arm, a leg, and however much it costs to repurchase your soul from satan, because I'm selling it to him if you undercut me.
  2. Game used jersey of any of the following players from said game. Frogzilla, J Phil, Red, Aaron Brown, D Wash, Hodge, Luxury Tax and Kerley. The cost will be similar, except that I will keep your soul in tact and instead drain all of your spinal fluid in your sleep causing instant paralysis (at least I think that's what would happen. Regardless, have fun being Stephen Hawking without the smarts for the rest of your life!)
  3. Frog Basketball shorts. Team basketball shorts are pretty much my non work attire on any given day, but I have yet to obtain any of the Frog variety. I feel like I can lower my cost on this one due to the increased supply as compared to the first two items. It's going to cost you picking up my drink tab at the Oui after the game and spot me some quarters for however many times the jukebox will allow me to play "Walking on Broken Glass," by Annie Lennox, "God bless the USA" by Lee Greenwood and "The Body of an American" by the Pogues.
  4. Game worn Zvonko Buljan jersey. Let's keep this one on par with how they would handle this situation in the Eastern Bloc: It's going to cost you your consitutional rights, your love of capitalism, and your right hand
  5. Game Worn Helmet. Interesting trades considered.

So, there you go everyone, that's what your up against if you desire any of the above mentioned items. I just suggest that you get there early, bring lots of cash and bartering skills, and arm yourself to the teeth. Good luck and God bless... and maybe put some feelers out there on the going rate of your kidney between now and then. You know I will have done the same.