Top 25 Preview: Moving Day Edition

Not to kick a dead horse, but I'd sure love to kick the corpse of Boise State to the curb.

For those of you with tendencies towards superstition, I suppose I’m about to give you the ole “up yours” because I’m changing things around here. Rather than outlining the games played between the 10 teams ranked five spots away from us on either side, I’m just going to focus on the Top 10 ranked teams in the BCS and their matchups. When you’re a top 10 ten, sometimes you have to go big or go home, and we’re obviously gunning for the top spot, not just a BCS bid. Could this be the week we jump Boise? I suppose we’ll see Sunday afternoon after we take care of business in Provo.

From this point on, only BCS rankings will be acknowledged.

#1 Florida at Mississippi State (+23). Interesting matchup here, simply because Florida is still due a conference flop, MSU has done it to the Gators before – albeit during the dark days of Zook- and current MSU head coach Dan Mullen was Florida’s offensive coordinator during their championship runs, so if anyone knows how to stop Tebow, it’s him. Many would say that the Gators losing Mullen could be the reason why their offense hasn’t exactly been up to par this year, and I can’t say I don’t buy into that some. Let’s face – if Arkansas had a kicker, they would’ve upset the Gators last weekend in Gainesville, Florida would be an SEC afterthought right now, and there wouldn’t be any foreskin left in the country of Haiti after Tebow faded into also-ran oblivion. As it is, though, this is your number one team and the slip up against Arkansas was probably just that – a slip up. I’m not about to completely belittle a team who went into the most rambunctious environment Baton Rouge has ever provided and, with a concussed QB, made a mockery of the admittedly not that great Tigers. It should be noted, though, that MIssissppi State played those same Tigers within a 4^th and goal of an upset a month back in this very same stadium. Can the Bulldogs do the unthinkable and knock off the heavily favored Gators? Probably not, but if it happens, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

#2 Alabama (-15.5) vs Tennessee. Now as the fourth Saturday in October, The Volunteers and Tide meet again, this time in Tuscaloosa. Armed with presumed Heisman favorite Mark Ingram, Alabama will try and outrun a surprisingly competent Vols defense all the way to a victory because, let’s face it, Jonathan “Fredo” Crompton isn’t going to have much luck against the Tide’s second ranked defense. In fact, he’s not going to have time to throw, think, or pee during halftime they’ll be on him so bad. Sure, the Tide offense has its issues – and QB Greg McElroy is going to get a big taste of Tennessee safety Eric Berry’s sack if he plays like he did last week – but there’s very little chance that Tennessee will put any offensive points on the board. Georgia’s defense this is not. You have to love the Tide at home in this one.

#3 Texas at Missouri (+13). Colt who? Chance Mock may as well be back under center at this point, because I’m not sure what game Colt is playing out there, but it’s not Heisman caliber football. After “grinding” out a victory against OU last weekend, some people are calling for the Longhorns to drop a game and soon. Fortunately for UT , they get Missouri, whose QB is even more giving than their own. Besides, the Longhorns haven’t lost the game directly following OU since the Mackovic era, and they lost a LOT of games under that guy, so that’s not saying a lot. The Longhorns may drop a game, but it won’t be this one. As much as it pains me, I’d rather see Texas go undefeated for a while longer because the thought of Boise defaulting themselves into the top 3 makes me want to have unprotected sex with a leper.

#4(for now) Boise State at Hawaii (+25). Overrated and pansy can attack our schedule all they want – and, to be honest, how’s that overall Longhorn SOS looking these days, guys? – but I think we can all agree that it’s bowel churning to see a team ranked in the top 4 that gets to play the games that Boise does. I hear the Hawaiians are a bunch of assholes to us mainlanders, but I’d gladly join their poorly educated,crime ridden ranks if they could pull this one off.

#5 Cincinnati (-18) vs Louisville. The big question in this game isn’t so much will Cincinatti keep their improbable run rolling, but by how much and with what quarterback? Career backup turned Midwest stallion Tony Pike had surgery on his non-throwing shoulder this week, but hasn’t been ruled out. It probably won’t matter – Louisville is 2-4 and are pretty much playing to run Steve Kragthorpe out of town at this point. Nice career move, Steve. Just to give full disclosure, Louisville gives up 30 points a game, while Cincy puts up 41 and also only surrenders 20. The most points Louisville has scored this year was 30… against Indiana State. My oh my how those guys must miss Conference USA.

#6 Iowa at Michigan State(+2.5). This is going to everyone’s BIG upset pick this week and, you know, why not? Despite their 7-0 record, Iowa hasn’t exactly overwhelmed anyone this season – just ask Northern Iowa and Arkansas State – although they have beaten a supposedly solid Penn State team and shut down Wisconsin last week after struggling in the first half. Still, a 7-0 record is a 7-0 record, even in the Big Televen, so it’s hard to argue with. I may have ripped Iowa HC Kirk Ferentz earlier in the year, but he’s got his boys playing for something right now. The biggest issue here is going to be dealing with not looking forward to the Ohio State game because the rest of the schedule is cake before and after that one, excluding this weekend. The Hawkeyes don’t do much on offense, but they have a solid defense, and they’re going to need it as MSU boasts a pretty potent passing attack. The Spartans struggled out of the gate, but have now won three straight, including a big win over their rival Michigan, and are favored in this one. Still, as TCU fans we know that defense will win you a lot more games than your offense and, since neither of these guys put up huge points, I take the Hawkeyes in a close one. Still, a Hawkeyes loss would be fantastic for us.

#7 USC (+21) vs Oregon State. My my, USC. You lose to Washington and choke away a big lead against Notre Dame to let them come within a broken up end zone pass of beating you, and you’re still up on an undefeated TCU in the BCS standings? When will the Pete Carroll luster finally wear thin? If you’ll remember, Oregon State has twice broken up USCs perfect season. Unfortunately for the Beavers this year, USC already has that one requisite loss and is pretty much locked into a date with the Ohio State/Iowa winner in the Rose Bowl which has become about as fun to watch as the Papajohns.com Bowl. I don’t see any issues for the Trojans in this one despite letting OSU RB Jacquizz Rodgers run all over them last season. Matt Barkley will continue to melt the bitches panties in south central.

#9 LSU (-8.5) vs Auburn. After being the “IT” team of the opening weeks, Auburn sure has taken a turn for the worse. After starting the season 5-0 and averaging 31 points per game, the meat of their SEC schedule has knocked the Tigers way off that pedestal as they are 0-2 and averaged 19 over their last two. Much like Tracy Jordan's gaffe in voting for Nader, the Tigers lost to Kentucky at home. KENTUCKY!! LSU may not score many points – heck, they don’t even have that much of a defense – but the Death Valley edge will typically prevail against mediocre teams. LSU hasn’t beaten anyone of substance by more than 8.5 points this year, so that line looks a little shaky.

#10 Miami (-6.5) vs Clemson. Oh Clemson, you ignorant slut. After losing to terrible Maryland, you go out and beat the pants off of a not terrible Wake Forest team? How does that work? I know it has become a stereotype to talk about the ACC being a team full of .500 teams, but it really, really is, especially after Virginia Tech lost to Georgia Tech last week. Side note – Louisiana Tech, Virginia Tech, Texas Tech. All state sponsored Tech schools. All taking the tired, weary and huddled masses of their respective states. Georgia Tech, Cal Tech. Both state sponsored Tech schools. Both very, very highly respected schools educationally, specializing in keeping the masses out. Why does it work out like that? These are the questions I bring to the table. Anyway, Miami hasn’t played a conference game in a month after that brutal slate to open the season and ends with the 5 bottom feeders in the conference. Miami is currently the cream of the Big Least crop… but what does that mean? I think Clemson actually wins this one, continuing to churn that conference into its annual sludgy mess of 7-5 teams.

Obviously the one missing there is the big one – TCU/BYU and, looking at everything else, it’s pretty apparent why the Gameday crew decided on Provo, despite the obvious social shortcomings. I mean, is anyone familiar with East Lansing, Michigan? I feel like that place must make Detroit look cosmopolitan by comparison. MSU/Iowa is the only glaring upset opportunity, but that one is so glaring that there’s no way it’ll happen. Clemson/Miami is what I’d keep my eye on this week as that would at least get the Canes off of our backs. Barring unforeseen circumstances, I’m afraid we stay right where we are this week for a while, but apparently the pollsters are losing faith in Boise – their words, not mine – and the drop should start very, very soon. Until then, Go Frogs!