San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl – 7 words
I was hoping for a bowl with 4 words or less. It’s cool; we will get an under-rated non-bcs team to play in front of a crowd of 20,000 in a stadium that holds thrice that.
This season has been kind of like the new season of Entourage – short, enjoyable, but not near what it could have been. Losing to Utah was kind of similar to Johnny Drama ruining Turtle’s play with Jamie-Lynn Sigler - all was lost – but in the end we get a victory over a top 10 team and Turtle hammers down Sigler.
The Big Game...
The Coach: Coach C. Peterson openly supported the BCS. The shameless imbiots at ESPN campaigned harder for BSU than he did. Who do you think would win in a fight……Coach Gary Patterson or this guy?
The Matchup: TCU is uber good this year. BSU is in for a complete shock when they step on the field 12-23. They haven’t seen a team this good in years and you’re about to get a rough reality check. BSU is good, really good, just not anywhere close to the caliber of this TCU team. When you beat us in 2003, it was after we lost a BCS buster game to Southern Miss and won a lot of games by very small margins all year long. It’s a different world this year. Your precision and mistake free football will win you games against teams that have more talent than yourself and maybe win you a big time game against a team superior than yourself (OU-2006). But, your 100% success rate on trick plays for touchdowns is most likely not going to work in San Diego. You’ll have to run the ball to win this game and that is highly unlikely. Let me explain.
During the 1st half of the Oklahoma game this year we allowed 28 points due to mistakes, but eventually our Coach – Gary Patterson - realized that our Defense is so fucking good that he can just rush 4 guys all day long and still sack the shit out of you. Hell our linebackers are so good, we don’t have to put 8-9 guys in the box anymore to eliminate elite running games (Oklahoma had 26yards rushing on 36 attempts). Even if we didn’t have a 4-2-5 scheme leaving us with more speed because of the extra DB, our linebackers are faster than your running backs. We shall pass the ball you say? Most teams are able to do a decent job of this (teams have to get some yards, right?) but remember, we are the #2 defense in the nation, so don’t expect much, the single-coverage mistakes that we used to allow resulting in long passing touchdowns have been minimalized since the Oklahoma game, leaving other powerhouse offenses like BYU and Utah with 9 and 13 points on the scoreboard. Your margin of error is scary. Good luck.
TCU O vs. BSU D………I expect to score 30 points. They might play hard like Rudy but they can’t back it up with much talent.
Dear Tim Teabow,
I hate everything about you…..Except your girlfriend.
I don’t blame you for whining and crying. You’re doing your job.
Dear Mike Leach,
You’re great . If you leave I will miss watching you stare blankly into space on the sidelines. No coach in college football has ever almost changed their school’s mascot…pirates? I just know that you’re a step away from talking about aliens in your next interview. But anyone with any sense (and especially your intellect) should eventually leave that cowshit town after 8 years. 4 is cool. 6 is doable. But 8 years is too much for a student, teacher, coach or bus driver. Enjoyed it. Everyone did.
Dear Gary P,
Your Badassery has only been amplified since the season’s end…..
The TV season is also over, so….
Dear Producers of Entourage,
You suck. Like 4 episodes this season? WTF. It took you 12 months to come up with 2 hours of TV programming. It doesn’t even take the 24 producers that long and they blow shit up. Do your d-list actors suddenly start landing hit movies I haven’t heard about? You don’t even have a show without Piven, fuck you. We deserve better.
Dear writers of Californication,
Thank you for breaking up Ducoveny and his love half-wife, I guess you realized you don’t have show with them together.
Thanks to this site I am now a huge fan of ASIP.
You have made me accept the idea of killing people that are bad…..I have somehow overlooked the whole butchering them up thing….
To the Office,
You finally realized that Dwight is easily the most clever character creation you have, thanks for allowing us more of him and less of Jim’s blank loser stares into the camera, ohhh and please at some point show Pam in something sexy, I’ll even take a v-neck sweater, just to tease us more. Did I mention she recently got divorced in real life..…
Game Prediction: TCU 30 BSU 17
Disciples of GP: So Boise. We’ve got Boise.....
I'm struggling. I wanted to get our Frog Talk post out earlier. SchultzHater had some comments as early as last week. I, on the other hand, have struggled. Struggling with what to say…I don't do so well when my Frogs aren’t playing…..oh how I loath the tragedy of modern day college football’s bowl format.
It has been about a month since I last saw my Frogs take the field to inflict their wrath upon someone. Obviously some bean counter who has never watched or played sports set up the current system, because even the most basic fan knows that you can’t take teams that are developing a rhythm and routine for 3 months, tell them they have to take a month or more off, and then expect them to comeback together and play 1 last “biggest-game-of-the-season.” As gamblers we always wonder how much ONE off week DURING the season will affect a team, much less 4 or 5 weeks spanning multiple holidays. What has our team been up to? How in shape and focused will they be? How will they come out? Without General Patterson in command, these questions would be all the more scary, but fortunately, we have GP….
So I struggle…lately there hasn't been much to tick me off….I’ve already vented my hatred of all things BCS. That accomplished nothing. We got the best game we could hope for, at a great location. By that I mean San Diego, not the bowl per se. With so many bowls these days, the prestige of one bowl over another seems meaningless outside of a few. Is the Papajohns.com Bowl better than the Meineke Car Care Bowl? Fans watch bowls with good matchups, and ours by far and away is one of the best.
No idea how it went down….from the bleachers it looked like the Frogs and Boise said screw the whole system, we just want to play a good game against a good opponent. Screw more bowl prestige and money- if the Frog’s had pushed for Vegas, that would’ve been $1mm (Humanitarian would’ve paid Boise the same $750m as Poinsettia, but far less than the $17mm of a BCS). Screw a larger crowd- the day before Christmas Eve, long travel distances, expensive plane tickets b/c the holiday. GP from early on said that we want to play the best team we can, regardless of other factors. Heck he even offered to play Boise there. I like GP.
Not sure what to write….I agree with you SchultzHater, ASIP is the tits, Dexter makes me feel like I’ve missed my life’s calling, and Californication justifies our weekends …..hmmmmm
So we got our bowl….looks like we still got our coach…..people are coming back from injury (read: Kerley)….opposing blog fans seem nice…..Christmas time is here….my 3:00am booty call’s herpes are going into remission….we’ll be starting a whole new year soon…life is good…go ahead, paint it Rockwell.
Then….2 days ago…the AP happened. The Associated Pinchyways (need an ELP spell ck on that lt4h) came out and purposely deprived Frogzilla his rightful place as 1st team All-American DE. This sent my day into a tailspin of anger, self analysis/medication, and a lot of internet research. My conclusion: I was getting soft. A month without Frog violence and I was becoming complacent. AP brought the rage fuel back. In a way, the AP saved what probably would’ve been a pathetically soft posting on the eve of Horned Frog warfare against a very dangerous Boise opponent. Speaking of…..
Oh Idaho, you’re so beautiful. Boise seems like such a picturesque, homegrown piece of Americana. A place where I could go hunt for unicorns and rainbows in a glitter filled meadow of M&M’s with my friends Wally Cleaver and John Boy Walton. Or stroll over to Hobbit Village, where old man Jenkins is re-shoeing a mare. There’s no crime here, just ask our sheriff Andy Griffin, heck criminals (read: BSU players) even turn themselves in. A magical place where you can pick dandelions down by the creek in the summer, trade snow kisses with your grandma in the winter over a cup of cocoa, or spend spring with your imaginary friend, listening to the gentle caress of the water beating against your fishing polls, as you catch some splashy fish - catch and release of course. Boise is a simple place…set in a simpler time. It’s where you go to master the whisper. Somewhere you can spend a whole month outdoors with nothing more to entertain yourself than your own chill personality and your trusty butterfly net. Oh Idaho……
You haven’t fooled me Boise…I’m not drinking the Kool-Aid…
I didn't know a whole lot about Boise and its culture other than 85% of its people (that’s about 124) haven’t accepted Obama as their president. Apparently they have nice bloggers. From the looks of the internet they’re militantly right wing and hate California people. In fact, the only disparaging things you can find about them are written by either the Idahoans themselves in jest, or by Utah people, who I hate. I can find sites that hate puppy dogs, Christmas, and pictures of hot naked 18 yr old girls. I can find websites that will offer to kill my grandpa, want to ban firearms, even sites that want to do away with booze …but decent sites that legitimately hate Boise? Good luck. Perhaps that was why I was having a hard time coming up with the hate fuel I so direly need. Perhaps Idahoans control the interweb? Well we’ll put that to the test, because luckily after the AP got me going, my eyes were finally opened to the reason we should hate this backwoods Canadian suburb:
The #1 reason to hate them: They suck
Yep, that’s right, these guys suck BEEEEECAUSE….they suck. They just do. Not suck like you’re unathletic at Buck Hunter suck, but suck like you just found out you have AIDS suck. No, forget that, these guys are worse than AIDS. These guys are AIDS times a billion billion (not a typo). I could go into statistics on how Idaho leads the nation in percentage of young children living in low-income households AND number of West Nile Virus cases. Maybe I could bring up how a 1996 poll showed Idaho was numero uno in reported child abuse at 112.4 children per 1,000 and one of 3 states w/ the most rapidly increasing incarceration rates, all very telling….so basically anyone who lived in Idaho in the 1990’s is poor, abused, and if they survived the West Nile, is probably rotting away in prison….where’s your fancy schmancy mountains and lush river valleys now Idaho? So suck it Idaho, suck it until we trade you to Canada in an Idaho for Elisha Cuthbert, Rachel McAdams, and Shania Twain trade.
I’m sure we’ll come up with better reasons when we get to San Diego. I don’t know anyone from Idaho, nor have I had a bad experience in Idaho, but do not question my logic. And don’t fruitlessly continue looking for reasons to hate them, you’re missing the forest for the trees. That forest is simple and inherent my friends- Idaho, and Boise in particular, is our opponent this week, and hence they MUST suck…suck so bad you want to cut off your hand and microwave it.
That said, I don’t want to underestimate this Boise team. They are #9, we are #11. They have over 20,000 students, we have less than half that, so expect them to bring more fans. Sure they coasted through a pathetically easy conference, but going undefeated in ANY conference is no small feat (except the ACC, Big East, or MAC). Boise is the premier team in the WAC conference- translated they get everyone’s “best” game. How did they respond?? By beating the shit out of everyone they faced. There’s no doubt they can play. They can play and win without Houdini gimmick tricks or their Oak Lawn inspired home turf. Their coach will have them fired up and ready- they won’t come out flat. These guys will be attacking with confidence, a confidence that has grown and matured throughout the season and also the past few years as they’ve continued to build a very solid program. That said, I think the frogs have the ability to triumph, and triumph with a large number. Not predicting a blow by any means, but I am saying I think we’re CAPABLE of putting this game out of reach IF we come to play with an aggressive hunger and not a sense of entitlement. Boise will play with a chip on their shoulder- we better come out with a fucking boulder on ours or it’s going to be a long night.
Schultz better not call it conservative- these Boise guys can play. The return of Kerley will be huge. Dalton needs to keep making throws to “win,” not “manage” the game. AB finish memorably with a huge night. Turner hammer these guys. Regan, show flashes of your potential. LTX …well, it’s SHOWTIME. As for our D, it just needs to be itself- carnivorous, predatory, vicious, and cruel. Hitting so hard the sailors and marines stationed down the road from Miramar all the way up to Camp Pendleton are forced to scramble alert fighters. Bring the MOTHER FUCKING PAIN. And bring it all night. J. Phil- it’s FEEDIN’ time. Henson, to quote my friend Polar Bear: MURDER, DEATH, KILL. Colman, Hodge, Priest, Sanders…you’re sharks in chum filled water. Moore, Vess, Panfil give them nothing. Frogzilla Hughes- seek and destroy, everything dies… KILL EVERYTHING. Our D and team speed should win this, but it won’t be easy. I put them somewhere in the range of Utah +/-, definitely not OU but also not BYU. To the ’08 team, G-Pa, and the seniors in particular I’ll say this- it’s been an honor. Thanks for a hell of a ride. My only Christmas wish is for you guys to go out on that field next Tuesday and write the last chapter of this season by stomping a mud hole in Boise.
Disciples of GP: Who are these guys? Is Idaho in Canada or the US? Don't these cannuck hosers play 5-man arena football?
SchultzHater: It’s a part of Canada. They play Hockey and stuff up there.
Disciples of GP: Thoughts on San Diego and trashy California tail (thank goodness this game isn't in Boise)? What about some cross border TJ action?
SchultzHater: Being from the Bible Belt, our view of trashy differs from those up North and in California. While in San Diego, if you’re having trouble determining which girls are from San Diego and which are from Idaho…….the ones that actually look like girls are the ones from San Diego….
Disciples of GP: Idaho has bred some strong women, who in your opinion is best representative of the state: Sarah Palin, Sacajawea, Torrie Wilson, or Bridget Powerz aka Bridget the Midget?
SchultzHater: Wow, if you’re reading this and have time. Just Google Bridget Powerz and find out what a sick mind Disciples of GP really has. I choose Sarah Palin, because she is hot and stupid at the same time.
Disciples of GP: So Sir Charles basically called Auburn a bunch of backwoods racist rednecks. Thoughts?
SchultzHater: America voted for a black man because they thought he would do a better job “coaching” the country. Maybe Auburn hired Chizik because they thought he would do a better job “coaching” their team?
Disciples of GP: I got a feeling these guys are going to be over-the-top friendly opposing fans. Is this the case? If so, is this a psyops tactic designed to make us lower our guard so they can go for the jugular when we least expect it?
All Canadians are overly-friendly in general. That is why there are no professional football teams up there.
Disciples of GP: Match the picture with the description, Jeopardy style:
1.) This girl was taken advantage of by a Bronco RB looking to capitalize on the height of his celebrity by totally out punting his coverage and proposing to her following a Fiesta Bowl victory.
2.) This character's jet-set life style showed audiences just how exciting Idaho can be.
3.) The name "Idaho" comes from a made up Indian word by an 1860's congressman, a hoax still perpetuated by Idahoans today, a fraud that is much more lame than this man's recent $50bn fraud.
4.) This plant is the #1 thing most people associate with Idaho...let me repeat, a plant is the single most noteworthy thing about Idaho.