Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Another Graham Watson article

TCU regroups in '08 after BCS season turned in to a pumpkin in '07

F the Olympics

There. I said it. I know deep down, unless you are a fan of competitive field hockey or have a man crush on Bob Costas, you've probably been thinking it too. Let's face it, football is not here yet. It won't be here for another 16 days. Attempting to try and pacify me with this round the clock coverage of BS sports like table tennis is beyond insulting. It seems like every couple years this corporate sponsor carnival of obscure sports rears its ugly head and invades the psyche of the American sports fan- "Hey did you catch that 4X100 men's swimming relay the other night?" My hatred of the Olympics is simple: I JUST DON'T F-ING CARE. That's right rest of the world, I could give a flying fuck about your stupid Olympic Games. I don't want to watch handball, rowing bores me, and scenes of Deliverance to come to mind when I think of watching synchronized swimming. And don't even get me started on all the terrible Winter Olympic sports like cross-country skiing and speed skating. It's not just the sports though, it's everything. I could care less about watching a televised firework show Jack Donaghy. And watching every single country from Bhutan (2 archers) to Grenada (1 boxer) walk in the stadium dressed in some outlandish theme party type garb is not the least bit amusing. In fact, the whole idea of the mass media trying to make me care about this shitshow makes me want to puke. Don't get me wrong, this is not being anti-American. I am 100% behind brass aggressive nationalism. I am pleased to know that we Americans have the fastest human dolphin on the planet, but him winning gold medals is kind of like Armstrong winning the Tour de France- I'm happy because I know this pisses off the French . If anything, nothing is more American than my stance, which is simple- these sports aren't football. There is nothing more American than football. The NBA and baseball have been so successful making strides internationally (congrats sell outs), but football, that my friends is simply Ahhh'merican. I don’t remember the Olympics always sucking. At one time it was a nice distraction from the fact we were football-less. In fact, I remember fondly a childhood that embraced the Olympics. Either I was young and na├»ve, or somewhere along the way something changed. In order to not just rant but provide proactive solutions to make this event at least palatable, I am announcing my official decision to run for Chairman of the Olympics on the following platform:

1) Costas, you're gone. I'm so sick of you acting like you know what you're talking about when watching water polo. Is there any athlete you don't have a touching human interest story on? How can you make every event feel soooooo once-in-a-lifetime special? How do you manage to look yourself in the mirror? The new commentating crew will consist of Mean Gene Okerland, Bobby 'the Brain' Heenan, and Macho Man Randy Savage
2) Bring back the cold war. Look, I thought this one might be tough, but given all that's going on over in Russia, this just might be doable. We need a real us versus them story. Would it be possible for Al Qaeda to sponsor a basketball team?
3) Bring back doping. I want Ivan Drago type cyborgs competing, but I don't think we should stop with steroids. I propose we open this up to all sorts of hardcore narcotics. Mushrooms at archery, coke for our gymnasts, and meth for our shooting teams. Hallucinogens for all!! Equestrian is fine as is. I want to turn Beijing into Studio 54.
4) Only "real" countries. No country with a military less outfitted and dangerous than a bunch of drunk frat guys in Tahoe's on a weekend ranch trip is allowed to participate. Sorry France.
5) No duplicate events. Swimming is one thing. You can win one medal. We're not playing basketball once on 10ft goals then again on 12ft goals.
6) Justin Timerlake Rule. It's time to bring sexy back. Swimsuit competition is reinstated. Women's weightlifting gone.
7) Only "real" sports. No golf? No football? Where the fuck is bowling? Beer pong anyone? Why was the Tug of War discontinued after the 1920 Olympics? Where is PRO wrestling? Look, we need to get rid of all the BS sports that don't matter. That means the vast majority of the current Olympics. Also, any sport where people actually get angry because someone claims to be OLDER than they actually are is waaaaay too creepy and must go (sorry women's gymnastics, you were actually one of the few women's sports with the potential to get past Rule 6).
8) Opening Ceremony overhaul. It can't be more than 1 hour. Every participant must come dressed head to toe as their favorite animal.
9) Venue overhaul. Only locations that don't have Mexico City-style pollution and a laundry list of human rights violations may host the games. How did that crap hole beat out DFW?
10) America doesn't lose A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. Why? Because we're America, and we know if anyone beats us we can just offer them citizenship and they'll be on our team soon enough.

I'm open for other suggestions, and no, I don't hate the Olympics as much as UT or any other Frog opponent.

Top 10 Treadmill Disasters

For those of you like me, who think that treadmill accidents never get old check out the Top 10 Treadmill Disasters put together by Don Chavez.

How Not To Powerclean

#9 Mike Renfro

Arguably the greatest receiver in TCU history, Renfro sits at the top of a number of Frog receiving records including first in career receiving yards (2,739). He also holds the record for receiving TDs in a season (10), is tied with Cory Rodgers for receiving TDs in a career (17), and is second in career receptions (162). Renfro was a three time All-SWC player ('75, '76, '77), as well as one of the four players to win the Rogers Trophy, for TCU MVP, twice.

Renfro was drafted in 1978 and went on to have a successful ten year career in the NFL playing for both the Oilers and the Cowboys. His best pro-performance came for the Cowboys in a 1987 Thanksgiving day overtime loss to Minnesota where he caught seven passes for 100 yards and three TDs.

Up next, this player led the Frogs to their 9th and last Southwest Conference title.

Going to Albuquerque?

If so, you'll have plenty of purple-wearing company. TCU has sold out of it's allotment of tickets for the August 30 season opener against New Mexico. If you're still planning on going but haven't yet bought tickets, you'll have to do it through the New Mexico ticket office, which can be reached at 1-800-955-HOWL or online at

Message from Danny Morrison

Here is some good news for all you who have DirecTV but can't make it home for all the games.

Dear Friends and Colleagues:

We are thrilled to inform TCU fans that DIRECTV, the nation’s leading satellite television provider, will launch the MountainWest Sports Network (The mtn.) on Wednesday, August 27, on Channel 616. The mtn. is your ticket to TCU Football and the best of Mountain West Conference football, basketball and a wide variety of sports. More than 200 conference sporting events each year are seen on The mtn. To Order DIRECTV call 1-888-795-9489.

Cable Subscribers in Fort Worth and Dallas: We need your help. If you are a subscriber of Charter Communications in the Fort Worth area or Time Warner Cable in the Dallas area, The mtn. is not yet available. In this case, it is important that you call Charter Communications and Time Warner Cable. Make it known you are strongly considering switching to DIRECTV if they do not carry The mtn. and CBS College Sports Network. Your call is important because carriage of The mtn. in Fort Worth and Dallas, and CBS College Sports Network in Dallas, is being evaluated right now by these companies.

o Call Charter Communications: 1-888-438-2427 (Demand The mtn.)

o Call Time Warner Cable: 1-972-742-5892 (Demand The mtn. & CBS College Sports Network)

TCU Schedule on The mtn.

Saturday September 13 Stanford at TCU 6:00pm CT

Saturday October 4 San Diego State at TCU 5:00pm CT

Saturday October 25 Wyoming at TCU 5:00pm CT

TCU Schedule on The CBS College Sports Network

Saturday September 20 TCU at SMU 7:00 PM CT

Saturday October 11 TCU at Colorado State 2:30 PM CT

Saturday November 1 TCU at UNLV 7:00 PM CT

Thursday November 6 TCU at UTAH (HD) 7:00 PM CT

We appreciate your support and look forward to an exciting football season. Please let us know if you have any questions.


Daniel B. Morrison, Jr.
TCU Director of Athletics

Morning Dump

TCU has plenty of skill and depth at cornerback

Defense impressive during short workout

Almost injury report
-Patterson got a little roughed up Monday

Non-BCS/independents mailbag
-Doesn't mention TCU much but i feel like we should be supportive of the fact that ESPN is kind of covering the non-bcs

I love being over-looked