Wednesday, August 13, 2008
1) Costas, you're gone. I'm so sick of you acting like you know what you're talking about when watching water polo. Is there any athlete you don't have a touching human interest story on? How can you make every event feel soooooo once-in-a-lifetime special? How do you manage to look yourself in the mirror? The new commentating crew will consist of Mean Gene Okerland, Bobby 'the Brain' Heenan, and Macho Man Randy Savage
2) Bring back the cold war. Look, I thought this one might be tough, but given all that's going on over in Russia, this just might be doable. We need a real us versus them story. Would it be possible for Al Qaeda to sponsor a basketball team?
3) Bring back doping. I want Ivan Drago type cyborgs competing, but I don't think we should stop with steroids. I propose we open this up to all sorts of hardcore narcotics. Mushrooms at archery, coke for our gymnasts, and meth for our shooting teams. Hallucinogens for all!! Equestrian is fine as is. I want to turn Beijing into Studio 54.
4) Only "real" countries. No country with a military less outfitted and dangerous than a bunch of drunk frat guys in Tahoe's on a weekend ranch trip is allowed to participate. Sorry France.
5) No duplicate events. Swimming is one thing. You can win one medal. We're not playing basketball once on 10ft goals then again on 12ft goals.
6) Justin Timerlake Rule. It's time to bring sexy back. Swimsuit competition is reinstated. Women's weightlifting gone.
7) Only "real" sports. No golf? No football? Where the fuck is bowling? Beer pong anyone? Why was the Tug of War discontinued after the 1920 Olympics? Where is PRO wrestling? Look, we need to get rid of all the BS sports that don't matter. That means the vast majority of the current Olympics. Also, any sport where people actually get angry because someone claims to be OLDER than they actually are is waaaaay too creepy and must go (sorry women's gymnastics, you were actually one of the few women's sports with the potential to get past Rule 6).
8) Opening Ceremony overhaul. It can't be more than 1 hour. Every participant must come dressed head to toe as their favorite animal.
9) Venue overhaul. Only locations that don't have Mexico City-style pollution and a laundry list of human rights violations may host the games. How did that crap hole beat out DFW?
10) America doesn't lose A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. Why? Because we're America, and we know if anyone beats us we can just offer them citizenship and they'll be on our team soon enough.
I'm open for other suggestions, and no, I don't hate the Olympics as much as UT or any other Frog opponent.
If so, you'll have plenty of purple-wearing company. TCU has sold out of it's allotment of tickets for the August 30 season opener against New Mexico. If you're still planning on going but haven't yet bought tickets, you'll have to do it through the New Mexico ticket office, which can be reached at 1-800-955-HOWL or online at http://golobos.cstv.com/tickets/nm-tickets.html
Dear Friends and Colleagues:
We are thrilled to inform TCU fans that DIRECTV, the nation’s leading satellite television provider, will launch the MountainWest Sports Network (The mtn.) on Wednesday, August 27, on Channel 616. The mtn. is your ticket to TCU Football and the best of Mountain West Conference football, basketball and a wide variety of sports. More than 200 conference sporting events each year are seen on The mtn. To Order DIRECTV call 1-888-795-9489.
Cable Subscribers in Fort Worth and Dallas: We need your help. If you are a subscriber of Charter Communications in the Fort Worth area or Time Warner Cable in the Dallas area, The mtn. is not yet available. In this case, it is important that you call Charter Communications and Time Warner Cable. Make it known you are strongly considering switching to DIRECTV if they do not carry The mtn. and CBS College Sports Network. Your call is important because carriage of The mtn. in Fort Worth and Dallas, and CBS College Sports Network in Dallas, is being evaluated right now by these companies.
o Call Charter Communications: 1-888-438-2427 (Demand The mtn.)
o Call Time Warner Cable: 1-972-742-5892 (Demand The mtn. & CBS College Sports Network)
TCU Schedule on The mtn.
Saturday September 13 Stanford at TCU 6:00pm CT
Saturday October 4 San Diego State at TCU 5:00pm CT
Saturday October 25 Wyoming at TCU 5:00pm CT
TCU Schedule on The CBS College Sports Network
Saturday September 20 TCU at SMU 7:00 PM CT
Saturday October 11 TCU at Colorado State 2:30 PM CT
Saturday November 1 TCU at UNLV 7:00 PM CT
Thursday November 6 TCU at UTAH (HD) 7:00 PM CT
We appreciate your support and look forward to an exciting football season. Please let us know if you have any questions.
Daniel B. Morrison, Jr.
TCU Director of Athletics
Defense impressive during short workout
Almost injury report
-Patterson got a little roughed up Monday
-Doesn't mention TCU much but i feel like we should be supportive of the fact that ESPN is kind of covering the non-bcs
I love being over-looked