Thursday, June 5, 2008

1st Rounder!!

I believe we have our first first round pick in any sport since LT was number 5 in the draft. Andrew Cashner was selected 19th today by the Chicago Cubs and they say he might have a chance to jump right up to the big leagues. Congrats to Cashner.

Norris - Techno Viking - Henson

It all started in early 2005, when Chuck Norris facts started hitting the internet waves, evolving into an internet phenomenon. Even Google at one point realized the power of Chuck facts and got in on the action. When you would Google search for Chuck Norris this is all you would find: "Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you."

But, just like all viral internet content, it eventually loses its appeal. Enter, Techno Viking.

This phenomenon actually began in 2000 after a blue haired dancing girl with a knee cam caught on tape the glory that is the Techno Viking. Some opinions say the Techno Viking is becoming more popular on the internet than the "Chuck Norris jokes" because the Techno Viking shows to be a dangerous man if provoked. He has one of the best "don't fuck with me" stare downs I have ever seen.

"The Techno Viking doesn't dance to the music, the music dances to the Techno Viking".
To read more about the incident that created this phenomenon, click here.

Now it is 2008, and to make these two phenoms tie into the blog, enter Robert Henson.

RH-51 hopped on the map in 2005 in his redshirt freshman season.
2005: An honorable mention All-Mountain West Conference selection... received TCU's Davey O'Brien Fightin'est Frog Award... placed second on the team with 69 tackles, just two shy of the team lead... started two games while playing in all 12 contests... placed in a tie for third on the Frogs with 8.5 tackles for a loss... recorded a stop behind the line of scrimmage in eight games... had five TFLs over the final five regular-season contests... in his first collegiate start, he scored a touchdown with a 22-yard fumble return in a 28-14 win at Wyoming (Oct. 8)...

Since then he has evolved into a legend in most of our Spit Blood patron's minds, even though he has never been a "starting" linebacker. He has the personality, the athletic ability, and the win at all costs attitude to end his Horned Frog career with his best season yet, and remain legendary in our minds forever. It is time we pass the Norris - Techno Viking status along to the one and only Robert Henson.

~What was going through the minds of all of Robert Henson's victims before they died? His helmet
~There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Robert Henson allows to live
~The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Robert Henson 3. Cancer
~Crop circles are Robert Henson's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down
~Robert Henson once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
~Robert Henson's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
~Robert Henson does not sleep. He waits
~If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Robert Henson says its beef, then it's fucking beef.