Friday, May 16, 2008

Adios, Mofos

New TCU round ball head coach Jim Christian, as expected of any janitor who has come to clean up the filth and grime that Neil Dougherty left behind and has tried to pass off as a basketball team the past few years, is doing a little house cleaning.

First off the list is Henry Salter who ,after being indefinitely removed from the team last year for "behavior detrimental to the team," has not been invited back to the gutter that is the TCU men's basketball program. No word on what this detrimental behavior was, but I'm pretty sure it was "being good at basketball."

Also taking his name out of the race for dead last is Luke Tauscher who, like Eight Belles (what, too soon?), has pulled up a little lame and is "retiring" from the game. After being the VP of the Art Pierce 'tall white guys without a lick of basketball talent' All Stars, Tauscher has decided he can no longer take the physical toll the game puts on his back. This is also known as, "I realize no one should've given me a scholarship and coach gave me the evil eye/cold shoulder enough times to make me realize I need to go. I'm also pretty sure the ghost of Femi Ibikunle has been hovering over my bed every night with a dagger in his teeth" Godspeed.

To replace them, Christian has signed up two JUCO transfers with extravagant names that have a lot of Zs and vowels in them. Ah well, gotta start somewhere.

All Other Things Spit Blood

In the music industry:
1. Gene Simmons, Farewell Tour

2. Spitblood Aprisionado
Hailing from Brazil, this entire band is mad at their fathers and makes me want to do one of two things: 1) Kick a puppy off a cliff or 2) Sacrifice a baby

3. The Atomic Bitchwax - Spit Blood (Link to myspace)

In Urban Dictionary entries:

1. jelly roll

The act of giving oral sex to a menstruating woman and then spitting the blood into her mouth.

2. cherry bomb

The act of eating pussy when it is bleeding, filling your mouth with the blood, and spitting it in her face!

3. Cranberry Oceanspray

When a guy eats out a bloody vagina and then spits the blood back out through his two front teeth into the girls mouth. Like a fountain!

And for the new viewers who haven't seen it, here is a horned frog caught on tape using his unique defense mechanism.