Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Phantom Pooper

Too Funny for a Joke,

Just Watch

Sippin' on some Sizuuurp.

In his weekly rankings, Stewart Mandel at Si has us sitting pretty at 43. Which is ahead of any other team in our conference. Like, other than BYU, we're way far ahead of everyone.


I think there's only one explanation for this scenario: Man's been nursin' summa dat purple draaank.


Over/Under 10 runs Boston vs Clevland

Any suggestions?

Another One

Brought to you by www.stillawesome.com

Baptist Urine

I find two things interesting about this article:
1. Baylor is "considering" disciplinary action
2. The world's largest Baptist University hired a coach who played for Miami

Back from California

People from California are really, REALLY condescending when it comes to Texas. Everyone I met, upon learning I was from the Lone Star State, would respond with some variant of "Oh, man- do you LIKE living there?!?!" One of my cousin's friends actually told me he felt sorry for me having to live here. Right, because we're the state that elected a guy who starred alongside Sinbad in "Jingle All the Way" as governor...







I wasn't shy about pointing that out to the surprisingly large amount of "intellectual" Stanford fans that were talking weak, weak shit to me. Sure, you beat USC last week. Neat. USC sucks, though- they also almost lost to Washington. Furthermore, we beat them the last time we played them, too. They were selling T-shirts that said "Biggest Upset Ever" and spent a few minutes before the game and during halftime showing highlights from that game on the jumbo-tron. If it's really THAT big a deal to beat a team, you probably don't deserve to be in the same conference with them.

For the first half, I took a seat (along with my buddy Houston, a Stanford-hating Cal Bear fan) in a half-empty section behind the TCU bench. This was after buying a $9 ticket to a Pac-10 team's homecoming game- the kind of supply and demand ratio that clearly indicates your team should be in a BCS conference. Sitting amongst the few fans that were there, I quickly realized that, despite Stanford's lofty academic reputation, they have quite possibly the least-educated football fans in the country. One illustration of this was after the touchdown run by Dalton (which was an awesome play) was challenged, even though it was clearly a touchdown. The replay showed, as anyone with a brain could plainly see even in normal speed, that his knees were never down and the the ball was not only in the endzone, but actually knocked the pylon down from the inside. Even after the replay, which was shown in slow-motion about 10 times, the vast majority of Cardinal fans continued to boo and whine, claiming it was "the worst call ever". I was quick to point out to them not only how and why it was a touchdown, but also that their state produced the jury pool that acquitted OJ Simpson, so their opinions probably aren't valid.

The second half, I moved over to the TCU section. If you've never been to a TCU road game in a far away state, we actually travel pretty decently. That is, our fans over the age of 70 do-there was a solid contigent of 300 or so sporting purple. It was nice to watch the comeback in friendlier confines, and we actually got the blue-hairs to make some noise in the final few minutes.

When we were down 31-17, a Stanford fan that looked like Jimmy Clausen came over to us and told us that the game was "sooo over" and that we should probably get on our horses back to Texas. I wish I could say that my repetitive comebacks to him were better than just "Game's over, huh bud?"...but they weren't. It kind of broke my heart to see their faces, like Baylor or SMU fans realizing that they do, indeed, still suck. But not really.

My quick thoughts on the game as a whole- Our team has no quit in them whatsoever. As I've said the whole year, Dalton is going to have a phenomenal career at TCU-he's incredibly mature and poised for a freshman, if I may use some cliches. Also, as I've said time after time, when Joseph Turner is healthy, he's going to be awesome. He's also the perfect compliment to Aaron Brown, who continues to be the main fuel for this offense. Overall on offense, we still might not be the best unit in the nation, but we are clearly better than some of our early season performances. All of you impatient Schultz-haters that didn't get to watch this game on TV missed some really great play-calling and solid execution.

On defense, Chase Ortiz is just a beast. He was doubled the whole game, and still had two sacks. Stephen Hodge looked like Gator on Saturday. He doesn't just tackle people, he puts dents in their soul. Oh, and David Hawthorne is quitely our best defender this year- the guy just keeps making plays. The secondary had some iffy moments, but they tightened up in the second half. Most of the big plays were more about Stanford's QB and WRs making great plays than our coverage being blown. That QB they've got has a bright future ahead of him, as well.

After the game, we took the train back into San Francisco and went out with my cousin that lives there. To the girls I met out that night, I was either a professional lacrosse player (for the "Kansas City Force"), a professional rubix-cuber (I can do that shit with my feet), or on the waiting list for Astronaut Training (don't tell anyone, but they are looking at candidates about my age for a possible Mars mission). Sad thing is, I'm pretty sure about 75% of them believed me.

It was a fun trip, but I'm glad to be back. In the words of Biggie: "Cali- great place to visit"

YouTube Tuesday

Old one, but good one.