Monday, September 24, 2007

One More Game Ball


There needs to be one more game ball handed out. This one goes to Will Moncrief, who unselfishly sacrificed his gameday whiskey drink, to nail the SMU douche that felt it was a good idea to talk shit to the worst 7 rows in the stadium. It was an exceptional toss that traveled a good 10 rows and drilled the kid in the back. Thats the kind of "whatever it takes" attitude I like to see from Frog fans on Gameday. PA Moncrief.

Congratulations Fans!!

If you were fortunate enough to be in attendance on Saturday you officially took part in spectating the WORST WIN EVER!! I can easily say that, in my estimated 15-20 years of attending football games, this was probably the least satisfying game I have ever witnessed. The sad part is, we won!! I'm not typically one to shrug off a W, but, honestly, if we'd played like that against Air Force and Texas, it would've been over in the first half. Hell, even against Baylor it probably would've made for a decent game. Gofrogs, officially unofficially the weakest informed Frogs site on the web, tried to spin it as something like, "Horned Frogs win in all 3 phases of the game." Sure, special teams are quite good this year (this doesn't include you, Wide Left Fredini), and my boy and your Robert Henson put on a little show, but I can't say the offense can take ANY credit for this one. Justin "Justang Sally" Willis threw for 200 yards... which is 100 more than our QBs went for... combined. Let's do a quick breakdown:
  • SMU, a team that has played such mighty foes as the Indians of Arkansas State and the North Texas MEEEEAAANNN Green has given up ON AVERAGE over 550 yards of total offense. Does anyone know our final tally? 250. Darren McFadden could have lined up against SMU with no blockers and run for over 200 in jukes alone. Hell, I could've lined up with an O-line consisting of all the male clarinet players in the band probably rushed for 75-100. Every single one of our players is better at what they do than every one of SMU's players. Could we really not move the ball? I think Schultz' playbook just has a bunch of smiley faces drawn in it and when the the offense asks for a play he pretends he can't hear them and hopes they'll figure it out on their own. First person to mail Schultz a Bill Simmonsesque turd sandwich wins the prize. The prize you ask? The OC position next weekend. On NCAA 08, my TCU team with Aaron Brown averaged over 200 yards per game. Hint hint!! Give him the damn ball!! (I understand he fumbled twice, and since he hasn't been going hard since week 1 I'll let it slide this game... but he still ran for almost 100 yards on 11 attempts and averaged 8.4!!)

  • Against aforementioned North Texas and Arkansas State juggernauts (and Tech, who we know a little something about shutting down on offense) SMU gave up over 400 in the air. Dalton/Jackson? 108 COMBINED! Dalton was 5-14 for 40 and Jackson was 6-12 for 68. So not only did they not put up gaudy numbers... they could've even complete 50% hardly! Didn't Dalton go for three fiddy against Air Force? Remember that time that Patterson wanted to play them both... then Dalton looked good enough that he hasn't let Jackson see the field since the Baylor game? Jackson didn't look good either, although his TD pass on the run was pretty nifty, but his legs are the only thing that saved us on that drive. I'm a big Dalton fan, and I accept that you can have a poor game... but not against one of the worst defenses in D-1. Sack up, Red.

  • Remember that time we went 21 games without allowing a 100 yard rusher? Well, congrats defense, you've now allowed 3 in a row. I know Jamaal "remember when I was good as a freshman, then I sucked for 3 years and played third string, and then TCU was my coming out party?" Charles actually isn't half bad, and AF busted for 70 on one play... but SMU? Two years ago, SMU ran the ball ALL over us... in fact, we were the maid to their Kobe, but really? In a year when our defense is supposed to be our saving grace, this is how we do it?

  • What the hell has happened to Tommy Blake? I know he lost it there for a little bit so I assumed there would be a little bit of a hangover for him... but it's week 4 man! This was supposed to be his coming out party. Chase Ortiz looked like the preseason All-American and Blake looked like he should be trying to beat out Matt Panfil. Not only has he ruptured his draft status, but he's killing the team. Get your shit together, dawg.

The only thing that saved us is that their OC might be as bad as ours. They proved they could beat us deep... and then didn't do it. Their whole scheme seemed to be:

Offensive Coordinator: "Justin, we know we can beat these guys through the air... but since you're supposed to be our saving grace, why don't you see what you can create.... with your feet!!!"

Justin Willis: "Coach, that doesn't even make any sense, remember when we maimed them and broke their spirits two years ago by passing the ball and smashing them up the middle with our running backs?"

OC: "hmm... have you ever been an offensive coordinator... on weed!?!?!"

Justin Willis:"Alright coach, whatever you say coach, next year when you're in the unemployment line, at least I'll have my education!"

JW (in huddle): "Alright guys, this next play is called Dance Dance Revolution... you snap the ball and I'm going to dance around in the backfield, then either throw it away or take a sack! (dissention) Yes yes, even I know it doesn't make sense, and I played back up to James Cheeseburger Battle, but it's what coach wants."

JW: Down... set.... HUT HUT!!! (runs around aimlessly, like a drunk on Bourbon street) Oh shit! oh shit! I'm gettin' waaaayy too old for this shit.. is that Chase Or AACCKCKKKGHGHHGHGHG"

OC: "Great execution Justin, you only lost 7 yards that time." (internally): We'll just SEE who's the worst Offensive Coordinator in the metroplex, Mike. mwahahahahahahhaha!!

I mean, I really would not be surprised if the underlying theme of the DFW Duel was for bottom of the barrel OC bragging rights. Anyway, I could talk about this game for lines and lines, but it's a Monday, and on Mondays I try and be productive for at least the morning.

Game Ball: Two game balls.

  1. SMU offense and special teams. For, without them, we'd likely still be sitting in the stadium, watching a 7-7 deadlock in the 49th overtime

  2. Robert "Flip" Henson. I'm a little partial to Henson since we went to the same High School, thus automatically making us best friends, but his int.. followed by "THE MOVE" followed by the uneccesary flip into the end zone immediately elevated him even higher into the upper echelons of my favorite TCU player ranking. Thank you, Flip for making unbearable game a little less unbearable.

The "Soccer Hooligan in Training Up Yours Award."

  1. Schultz, Jackson, Dalton. Any arguments?

Get your FW Bowl tickets now... and don't be surprised if you don't end up getting to use them.

What an Ugly Game

Has our defense scored more points than our offense? Or to put it another way, if we did not even field an offense, we would have the same record? I honestly think that we could have a worse offense than Notre Dame.